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Tim_Tex
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08 Sep 2009, 8:43 am

Yes, I did mean prior to marriage. Like most Christian denominations, they say not to do it until marriage, but most don't actually adhere to that rule.


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pandabear
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08 Sep 2009, 6:02 pm

If most of the members of your Church are committing fornication in full view of the Church, and in defiance of what "they say not to do", then why bother renouncing your religion if your wish is simply to commit fornication?



techstepgenr8tion
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08 Sep 2009, 6:36 pm

Sure. Its trendy/fashionable these days, why not.



Tim_Tex
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09 Sep 2009, 6:04 am

Thanks for the advice.

There are only two female Christian Aspies in the world who have the same interests as me, and who are on the same wavelength as me regarding sex, and both of them are already in relationships.


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09 Sep 2009, 7:37 am

7 or 8 simple rules of the T man topic

Twenty years ago I was told by a Gay pastor that love comes when you are not looking. It may just drop out of the sky. (I am not lesbian, but I visited his church out of interest.)

When he told me this, I was worried a man would freefall right on top of me. 8O :P


What he meant was that love will happen when you least expect it. 8)

Remember what Shakespeare wrote about being true to oneself.


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Tim_Tex
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09 Sep 2009, 9:43 am

But I am worried that she will not have the same characteristics as me, which I don't feel that I can negotiate on.


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pandabear
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09 Sep 2009, 9:51 am

I think that if you do succeed in finding a female version of yourself, then you will just irritate each other.

It is better to focus on compatibility issues. If you have some differences, then at least you might be able to complement each other.

You may have strengths in one area, like memorizing cartoons. She may have strengths in another area, like cooking and cleaning. It can't be that important to have someone watching your cartoons with you.



Tim_Tex
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09 Sep 2009, 12:38 pm

How would she be irritating?


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Fuzzy
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09 Sep 2009, 2:01 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
How would she be irritating?


Have you ever witnessed two star wars fans discussing one of the movies? They have the same interests, but huge fights and arguments can ensue.

Like that.


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Tim_Tex
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09 Sep 2009, 2:12 pm

I'm not the type who argues about individual episodes, because everyone is entitled to their opinions on stuff like that.


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Janissy
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09 Sep 2009, 3:08 pm

I think Fuzzy meant more than just arguing about individual episodes. When two people are very similar, sometimes those points of similarity can be the greatest points of friction.

You are looking for somebody who ticks off various boxes on your checklist. If she's really just like you, she's got a checklist too. Suppose two people who both have a checklist get into a relationship- a relationship which is based on how completely each matches the others' criteria. Now you are both trapped (until you break up, of course). Each of you is holding the other to a checklist. That means that neither of you is "allowed" to change in any way because inflexibility in checklists is something you both have in common. But change is inevitable. Nobody is static. So you have horrific fights every time either one of you seems to stray from the written-in-stone criteria. Then you break up, each citing the others' betrayal and misrepresentation of the internal checklists you both have.



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09 Sep 2009, 3:13 pm

Okay. Find someone who is identical to you, but who has a vagina rather than a penis, and let us know how it goes.

I don't know of any couples who are identical. The stereotypical American male is passionate about the Superbowl, while his wife really couldn't care less, except that she has an opportunity now to jump up and serve him beer and hors d'oeuvres while he directs the action of the game from his couch.

If they both loved watching football, then who would serve the beer and hors d'oeuvres?

Maybe you could find a woman who would serve you beer and hors d'oeuvres while you watched your cartoons.

If I were in the market for a woman, the only real factors for immediate disqualification would be smoking, heavy alcohol use, and illicit drug use. I admit that this eliminates about half of the population. For the rest, I would look at the overall package.

If you have overly-strict eligibility requirements, then you'll find it extremely difficult to identify anyone who measures up.



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09 Sep 2009, 6:00 pm

mgran wrote:
Oh, for pity's sake, if you're going to give up "Christianity" (and nobody yet knows what that word means to you) PLEASE let me caution you against going Mormon or JW. Seriously... the JW translation of the Bible is so bad that someone must have deliberately sat down and thought, "what can we mess up here... hey, what about this! That will mess things up!" Whereas the Mormons book is just painfully, horribly, wrong, literally from the very first line. (Don't get me started on it...) I need a head banging smiley, but I can't be bothered to find it. :roll:

The Bible is just painfully, horribly wrong, literally from the first line too.

Religion is just a way of trying to answer something we can't answer yet. So Mormonism and JW seems just as sensible to me.

@ the OP: Do you really not believe in a god, or do you only want to call yourself to possibly gain social acceptance?


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09 Sep 2009, 6:17 pm

Ok, what about the other stuff?

If she says she is intending to stay abstinent until marriage, or will only do "vanilla" stuff when it comes to sex, and I run for the hills, what would this say about me?


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Janissy
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09 Sep 2009, 7:23 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Ok, what about the other stuff?

If she says she is intending to stay abstinent until marriage, or will only do "vanilla" stuff when it comes to sex, and I run for the hills, what would this say about me?


It would say you are sexually incompatible. Sexual comptability is a lot more important than cartoon preference compatibility.



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09 Sep 2009, 7:27 pm

I don't know what the various flavours of sex are, but I would suggest not broaching the subject until you've actually had sex at least once. Then, you might eventually suggest or gradually introduce varieties that interest you.

If she says that she "intends" to stay abstinent until marriage, I would suggest just playing along, gradually getting more intimate, and eventually she may get so hot that she wants to try sex with you. Just be patient.

If you run for the hills, then your chances of getting any sex have been eliminated.