Thinking about renouncing Christianity

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Yes, I did mean prior to marriage. Like most Christian denominations, they say not to do it until marriage, but most don't actually adhere to that rule.

If most of the members of your Church are committing fornication in full view of the Church, and in defiance of what "they say not to do", then why bother renouncing your religion if your wish is simply to commit fornication?

Sure. Its trendy/fashionable these days, why not.

Thanks for the advice.

There are only two female Christian Aspies in the world who have the same interests as me, and who are on the same wavelength as me regarding sex, and both of them are already in relationships.

7 or 8 simple rules of the T man topic

Twenty years ago I was told by a Gay pastor that love comes when you are not looking. It may just drop out of the sky. (I am not lesbian, but I visited his church out of interest.)

When he told me this, I was worried a man would freefall right on top of me.


What he meant was that love will happen when you least expect it.

Remember what Shakespeare wrote about being true to oneself.

But I am worried that she will not have the same characteristics as me, which I don't feel that I can negotiate on.

I think that if you do succeed in finding a female version of yourself, then you will just irritate each other.

It is better to focus on compatibility issues. If you have some differences, then at least you might be able to complement each other.

You may have strengths in one area, like memorizing cartoons. She may have strengths in another area, like cooking and cleaning. It can't be that important to have someone watching your cartoons with you.

How would she be irritating?

I'm not the type who argues about individual episodes, because everyone is entitled to their opinions on stuff like that.

I think Fuzzy meant more than just arguing about individual episodes. When two people are very similar, sometimes those points of similarity can be the greatest points of friction.

You are looking for somebody who ticks off various boxes on your checklist. If she's really just like you, she's got a checklist too. Suppose two people who both have a checklist get into a relationship- a relationship which is based on how completely each matches the others' criteria. Now you are both trapped (until you break up, of course). Each of you is holding the other to a checklist. That means that neither of you is "allowed" to change in any way because inflexibility in checklists is something you both have in common. But change is inevitable. Nobody is static. So you have horrific fights every time either one of you seems to stray from the written-in-stone criteria. Then you break up, each citing the others' betrayal and misrepresentation of the internal checklists you both have.

Okay. Find someone who is identical to you, but who has a vagina rather than a penis, and let us know how it goes.

I don't know of any couples who are identical. The stereotypical American male is passionate about the Superbowl, while his wife really couldn't care less, except that she has an opportunity now to jump up and serve him beer and hors d'oeuvres while he directs the action of the game from his couch.

If they both loved watching football, then who would serve the beer and hors d'oeuvres?

Maybe you could find a woman who would serve you beer and hors d'oeuvres while you watched your cartoons.

If I were in the market for a woman, the only real factors for immediate disqualification would be smoking, heavy alcohol use, and illicit drug use. I admit that this eliminates about half of the population. For the rest, I would look at the overall package.

If you have overly-strict eligibility requirements, then you'll find it extremely difficult to identify anyone who measures up.

Ok, what about the other stuff?

If she says she is intending to stay abstinent until marriage, or will only do "vanilla" stuff when it comes to sex, and I run for the hills, what would this say about me?

I don't know what the various flavours of sex are, but I would suggest not broaching the subject until you've actually had sex at least once. Then, you might eventually suggest or gradually introduce varieties that interest you.

If she says that she "intends" to stay abstinent until marriage, I would suggest just playing along, gradually getting more intimate, and eventually she may get so hot that she wants to try sex with you. Just be patient.

If you run for the hills, then your chances of getting any sex have been eliminated.