Should I tell my parents that I'm an atheist?

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Cockroach96
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25 Jul 2015, 10:09 am

I'm 18 and I live with them. They are weak Christians and don't often go to church. Do you think it's safe to come out?


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25 Jul 2015, 10:17 am

I wouldn't drop it in their laps as an anouncement - that's telling them that they have to do something particular with that information to accomodate you, that the order of the house needs to change; IMHO it's just plane rude.

Just love your parents for who they are and let them love you for who you are. Occasionally - politely - let people know your beliefs if pressed on an issue or in a conversation, but put the people above the differences of belief. So much of this is knowing how to treat another person. Grand pronouncements of one's belief, disbelief, party affiliation, cross-fit membership, what one eats, etc. is really overrated and done so to a point that I really think it veers selfish and antisocial.


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25 Jul 2015, 11:13 am

Why? What is the point? Think of the potential upsides and downsides of it.

My grandmother was a very religious woman but we never talked about religion to any extent and I never gave her any reason to doubt my faith either, I thought it was best to not have her worry about me. My spiritual beliefs or the lack there of are personal, I don't need others approval and I don't expect others to feel the same.

I've talked to my parents about religion quite a bit but my parents aren't religious at all and have trended more irreligious as the years have gone on.



Cockroach96
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25 Jul 2015, 11:30 am

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Why? What is the point? 

Sometimes they tell me that I should go to church, and I have to steer the conversation in another direction. I just want to come out of my foxhole and be honest to them.


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Jacoby
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25 Jul 2015, 11:42 am

Cockroach96 wrote:
Quote:
Why? What is the point? 

Sometimes they tell me that I should go to church, and I have to steer the conversation in another direction. I just want to come out of my foxhole and be honest to them.


Its hard for me to compare since my parents, the people I've depended on my entire life obviously, were not very religious and when I say that I mean I can count on one hand how many times I've been inside a church other than funerals and weddings. I was taught a little about the bible when I was really young and my parents were more religious + were trying to live up their own parent's religious beliefs but most of what I know is just from casual interest of my own and stuff I haven't forgotten.

But yeah, if you don't want to go to church I would just say you don't get anything out of it. Since your parents don't go that much then they should understand.

Also, my discussions about religion with my parents were more debating certain aspects of it rather than me making a declarative identifying statement. My beliefs are always in flux, maybe God taps me on the shoulder tomorrow and I become born again. Who knows? If that does happen tho I might need to make a few appointments first before I believe it tho. :P



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25 Jul 2015, 12:35 pm

Only you can judge the situation.

With my parents, I just made it increasingly clear I wasn't interested in going to religious Mass on Festivals hasn't been an issue. My sister was probably the slowest to get it. However the religious people in my family are probably in the minority.



Cockroach96
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14 Aug 2015, 7:14 am

I've made it clear enough to them, without saying it directly. Unfortunately, my mother said she wants to take me to church and re-convert me. My father accused me of being "anti-Jesus". By the way, they are not really weak, but moderate Christians. Their faith in Christianity seems strong, though they practice it moderately. Luckily, they quickly forgot the conversation and moved to other topics.
Maybe I should directly come out and open their eyes on the matter. Who knows, they might let go of their faith! :)
I don't want to fake being a Christian, because religion freaks me out and is a waste of time.
I was advised to get a job and move out, but I have no qualifications. Also, I couldn't pay for university on my own.
What should I do?


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kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2015, 10:12 am

They seem pretty adamant in their religion.

I wouldn't bring up the subject of atheism.



Cockroach96
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14 Aug 2015, 2:21 pm

What if they bring up the subject of religion/atheism again?
I avoid discussing these issues with my parents. My mother asked me to let her put a religious icon(a small religious painting) in my room, and I refused. That's when the incident happened.
Next time they bring it up, I will say that I don't agree with them. If necessary, I will go into details and slowly try to open their eyes. A little here, a little truth there. I hope they will understand.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2015, 2:24 pm

I understand your desire for privacy in your room.

But then I'm thinking: unless it's an ugly painting, why not let your parents have it in your room?

It gives them piece of mind.

Obviously, it's your room, so it's your choice.



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14 Aug 2015, 2:25 pm

"If your mother tries to drag you to church, just tell her, "Thanks, but I'm not in the market for theology. I'm a happy atheist!" Otherwise, stay away from the topic.


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14 Aug 2015, 2:29 pm

For heavens sake don't tell them until you are out on your own. My Ma would have a heart attack (not kidding). I still remember what happened when I still lived at home and told my parents that I wanted to be a mortician. My Ma ran through the halls like someone died and you see what happened to me - I'm working with live sick people. :roll:


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14 Aug 2015, 2:34 pm

Yes you should, they won't really care.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2015, 2:36 pm

Some parents would care very much. You have to be careful about this issue.



Cockroach96
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14 Aug 2015, 2:56 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I understand your desire for privacy in your room.

But then I'm thinking: unless it's an ugly painting, why not let your parents have it in your room?

It gives them piece of mind.

Obviously, it's your room, so it's your choice.

It's not ugly, but I find religious icons creepy and I don't want any in my room.
I can't understand why they force Christianity on me. How does it benefit them? They don't even seem to believe in heaven or hell, they are simply Christians by tradition. Religion has nothing to do with logic/reason/science.
I forgot to mention that I have a little sister(NT, 8 years old) whom I love very much. She was indoctrinated, which is cruel and heartbreaking. I hate it when she witnesses our discussions on religion. I won't tell her the truth, as that would only cause trouble. I'm sure that one day she will figure out the truth on her own.
Also, I hate it when Christians confuse atheism and Satanism.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2015, 3:16 pm

I see what you mean.