I have a question for those who are Christians.

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My question is this- "Do you struggle with anger towards God because of your autism?" I want to see if I'm not alone in this area. I apologize in advance if what I'm about to say is construed as offensive. These are my thoughts, and I'm just looking for answers:

I used to be a more devout Christian, but then I started realizing how different my autism made me from everyone else. I started seeing my own limitations and limited capabilities- like in the areas of love and dating, confidence, self-esteem, and independence. I began to see how different I was from my neurotypical peers- how they were dating, getting married and settling down, moving to new places, having successful careers, and LIVING life, while I am so delayed in all those areas and never have experienced them. I still haven't got a career started yet, I've never really dated, and I haven't been fully independent yet.

I tried to think of reasons why all this has occurred, and I only came to one conclusion- God made me different neurologically than the majority of people. Out of x amount of people, I was chosen to be different from everyone else. I was chosen to bear the burden of autism! Even though I'm a high functioning autism at the very slight side of the spectrum, I still consider myself autistic.

I do not consider my autism as a source of pride, instead, I consider it a source of shame. I'm ashamed to know that I so close to being just like "everyone" else, but knowing I never will be, and that there is nothing I can do to change it. I have the UTMOST respect for my fellow autistic brethren, because we all share the same or similar plight, but personally, I'm ashamed of how different I am.

Those of us who are autistic, and are aware of our autism, we struggle, there is no denying it. We may overcome certain obstacles, but there will always be things we struggle with.

My autism has made me question my capabilities as a human being, and it has made me question the goodness of God. When I see how different I am from my fellow peers, I can't help but question why He made me different from everyone else, and why I struggle while everyone else seems to be doing alright.

It makes me question why people, who did nothing wrong, are born into this world with limitations, either physical or psychological. For instance- Why are people born paraplegics or quadriplegics? Why do people have forms of Autism, Bi-Polar disorder, forms of Schizophrenia, Multiple Sclerosis, Cerebral Palsy, Mental Retardation, Down's Syndrome, etc?

Is it because it brings honor and glory to God, as Jesus said in John 9:1-3? Or are these people, who did NOTHING wrong, are paying the price for Original Sin, the mistakes of Adam and Eve? Or should we just blame all of this on genetics?

I don't know, I'm completely lost, and I'm looking for answers. What are your guys' thoughts?

God is not a solid block. He feels and cares. He carries us. Remember Exodus? It was not a nice way of living, but the people walked with God. Your hardships are your personal Exodus.

Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Find him in YouTube and be surprised.

God doesn't individually design and create each and every one of us, he didn't design thalidomide victims to be born with no arms for instance, that was a result of a mistake by man, he made the first Humans perfect, but as we get further and further away from that initial perfection, we deteriorate as a species, devolution, probably why so many need glasses as the eye lens cannot function without perfection.

Now also consider some of the parables of Jesus, such as him being the good doctor that comes to cure the sick, as the healthy have no need of a doctor.
Those that suffer the most as a result of Satan's deception are the ones God will give a greater demonstration of his Love when his kingdom comes, just as Jesus healed the sick and the lame when he was first here, he will also do when he returns, knowing that those who most need him will Love and appreciate him more than those who consider themselves perfect without Gods help.

I was born aspergers (albeit very high functioning) and very, very severely obsessive-compulsive.

I never blamed God for this, in fact, I'm somewhat grateful. I always wanted to be different than everyone else. When I was in pre-school I started training myself to be left-handed because everyone was right-handed and I wanted to be different (plus I thought "left-handed" sounded cooler). I still can't do anything that requires a tripod position with my left hand, and I also use my right hand for my mouse out of force of habit (always had right-handed mouses) but everything else I do with my left hand.

There are disadvantages to being different of course, but there are advantages as well. The best advice I could give you is to look into some of the advantages ascribed to various neurological conditions you may have and fixate on those, not the negative.

I think it is better to be one of the outcasts than one of the outcasters. One of the reasons I'm grateful for being different is that I got made fun of. A lot. And because I got made fun of, I learned how it felt to be made fun of. Now I'm not saying I never made fun of someone who did not make fun of me first, to my shame I admit I have. But because I was different from the bullies, I didn't become one of them.

Yes, there are hardships, but in my experience most of those come from people refusing to accept me for who I am and trying to change me than the conditions themselves. If civilization had developed differently, they wouldn't be considered "disorders" or be problamatic at all. Thus my hardships, while legion, are the fault of humans, not the fault of God.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are those who weep, for they shall laugh.

I appreciate the redemptive suffering aspect of Christianity. No Easter without a Good Friday. Thing is, everybody on Earth suffers at one time or another. Christians can make sense of it.

When I start to question "Why me?" in regards to my struggles or things that have happened to me I try to remember two things.

One: Jesus feels my pain and relates to me. That is part of what makes Him the perfect high priest capable of interceding for me before the throne off the Father according to the book of Hebrews.

Two: How can I serve God through this struggle? How can I show Christ's love to others through what I am going through? And just plain how do I need to be serving God? This reminds me that my point in life is not have some fairy tail life, but to worship the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth who died for me. No where in the Bible am I promised an easy life without trials and troubles (rather the opposite) but I am promised an abundant life and redemption.
Remember that the NT's that you are jealous of have trials and troubles too, but they might be different than yours.

I will be praying for you.

I have Asperger's, and I'm married and have a daughter - a family didn't come easily because of my autism, but it did eventually come to me. If anything, I like to think God chose to allow me to meet the one person who'd love me despite my weirdness and lack of social skill. Don't be so quick to assume you'll have to spend the rest of your life alone, because that one special person may find her way to you someday.
Incidentally, I'm not ashamed to have Asperger's, despite the difficulties in everyday life that can accompany it. Rather, when I was diagnosed rather late in life, I actually felt amazingly relieved, because my life up to that point finally made sense.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

Like a lot of people said here, God is not a solid block and it is not a cluster. What I mean is, there's this almighty figure, conceivably the image of God and there's "replicas" of this same cluster.
In this case, I think you should refer to the Rational God, not the religious God - if you get inside the "creed" area, you'll most likely question yourself about evil: "Whence Cometh Evil?" ; "Why am I the one paying for the tragedies?" Those are tricky ones. Could be either from genetics(probably made by this Rational God, we're not sure about it yet) or almost impossibly, the God from Religion.

Well, not expecting you to be believe in this - these are pretty much assumptions. I can't be sure, I guess you do understand what I mean.

I was once taught everyone has a purpose in life, but we may not know it. It's hard, it's impossible at times to understand. I always find the Book of Job helpful.

My biggest confusion is more along the lines of the following: How do I serve and edify him when I'm like this? It feels like the kind of thing poses an unusual type of niche challenge with respect to following the two commandments of the NT in a way that people would understand (ie. either having a utilitarian facsimile of love without the emotion or having what you did have fried out of you by PTSD, trauma, and constant disqualification by a world who can't read your body language - hence you're literally not allowed to do what the next person is allowed to do).

I'm quite an on-fire and ambitious guy, when I was agnostic it was no different. I'm not the type of person who deals well with having my life shoved in the bottle and sitting it out on my thumbs. Much like anything that I've really gained competency in it seems like this will be a long term quest where practice and devouring any information source I can get my hands on will help.

For the moment I'm just doing everything I can to get my will in sync with what the bible requires and hoping God will lead from there. I've also been studying up on occult philosophy to try and get a handle on what's happening in the world in this respect and how both sides fuse to give us the cultural/social reality that we observe at present.

I want to thank everyone who has replied to this post! It really means a lot to me that you all are trying to help me understand whats going on from a Biblical perspective, and trying to help me out. I really do appreciate it!