16 and unhappy with my religion

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I'm only 16 and I'm unhappy with my religion. I'm not sure what to do. I can't tell my parents because it would upset them too much--they would tell me that I have to go along with the religious beliefs of my family. I'm too young to convert. What should I do?

Eh? If you're too young to change your religion, you're too young to have a religion.

But you're 16, which means you really should be able to make such eternal life and death decisions at this point.

You dont HAVE to go along with anything.

But if you have the understandable urge to avoid confrontation just keep your doubts it to yourself untll you're 21 (or whenever you move out) and then worship (or not worship) how you want.

^ This.

I became an atheist at the age of 11 and was routinely beaten with a cane by the Christian head teacher at my school for refusing to pray aloud. At age 18 I became a Buddhist monk - my parents were not happy (to say the least). Now I'm 53 years old and a Zen Buddhist / Atheist and nobody gives a damn any more.

Do you own research and make your own choices, but beware of possible conflict, especially if your parents or peers are devout with whatever religion or branch of Christianity they happen to be with.

I got tired of my religion from being dragged out of bed on Sunday morning to go to church. When I was 15 my mother finally gave up the struggle and let the devil have me.

(yeh! fixed your post for you. ;P no offense meant, I promise.)

How is anyone to young to convert, when you haven't had a chance to learn what you want to believe in?

And convert to what?

Do you know what you believe or which faith or philosophy you do want to follow and why, if any?

Should you also eat things you find repulsive because it is the norm in your family?

Taking part in family traditions (It works for Christmas, New year, Birthday's, it's no different) to ensure that sensitive people are not offended until you are able to find your own way is also an option, it doesn't need full blown intervention Hollywood coming of age film style retribution when you decide to choose you own path.

In Catholicism there are moments that a choice is made, communion and then confirmation, confirmation is where I stepped out of the fairy tale, eating dead deities and drinking their blood was fun but I had as yet not displayed any immortality or super powers. In a catholic school system this was about as popular as one on one time in the bell tower with the local priest. (We did have forced confession each month, I used to make up wild stories to tell the priest and at the end say I also lied, get my 4 hail Mary's, next time lie that I had performed my penance and then say I also lied. It was a fun game and I felt that if God could leave such simple loopholes i'm glad he was not a lawyer)

Despite missing the daily morning mass and spending holiday services with the jewish kids and muslims in a room larking about I was still forced to do 2 hours compulsory religious studies everyday for which I am thankful. "Know thy enemy, know thyself."

I also had to endure church visits for marriage, deaths and births and rarely sundays, especially on visits to Ireland my mother used to show visible panic at my grandmother finding out. (These people made the sign of the cross if they passed a church or a hearse and built a stone shrine to Mary on their land, like an obelisk of hypocrisy) I did this for familial peace, watching for the drunk just moving his mouth to cover up that he isn't singing or the guy taking from the tray rather than giving. The people attending just so that the community knew they had been there, so much fun.

It can be done, think of it like visiting a remote tribe or use it for research. What techniques are used in the church for communicating their message, what points trigger certain behaviours in people? How is the seating arranged?

How is the lighting? What about the reverb and delay? which tones reflect better? What is the importance of the clothing and artefacts in representing authority? Does God like silly hats?

Which scripture does this church focus on? Are there any people you know to be shady and corrupt who have come to pay their insurance premium at the holy water?

You can learn a lot about psychology, your community and why religion is important to people. Try changing your mind set until you are able to find the space to explore what you want to find out.

If the grand gesture is important to you or want or need the confrontation to make a point, then you need to plan the conversation. It needs to be about your right to your own mind and not about their beliefs or in anyway negative about their religion. By only focusing on the core of the issue (your freedom of choice) you do not even need to say that you don't believe but want the chance to be able to say the belief is all your own.

What person of faith could deny someone finding their own path to spirituality or did their god ask them to forcibly convert people for him?

Is faith so fragile that to allow someone to explore ideas might give them doubts or the chance to see that it is not true?

If God is everywhere, surely if someone goes out on their own they will find God themselves?

I relate a lot to what is said here, as I'm 17 and in the last year, I have had similar experiences...I don't have a problem with their (and my own, I guess) religion, just simply I can't find a good reason for me to think that it isn't just culturally based and doesn't show any real signs of something all-knowing/all-powerful or ultimate in any sense, except maybe it's an ultimate satisfaction.

I'd like to emphasize that I don't have some sort of grudge about it...I might occasionally joke about it...simply because I can be a goof and I like laughing...Though I usually refrain as I know it will hurt someone's feelings...and I DO believe in the Golden Rule of empathy, so I respect that, especially as they have good feelings about some parts of their religion and I can feel that with them I guess.

Keep in mind that no matter our social conventions, customs, we are all fellow cosmic citizens in this free ride of life...Do as you please with compassion towards your fellows.


Speaking of which, that is why I don't eat animal flesh...It's not right, man, that's awful... The thing is, I can explain with kindness and compassion why I refrain from that...and people get that...Remember, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar...

Have some self-respect of course, don't be too cheesy or you'll make people uncomfortable, but just try to understand people, that's all people want.


Anyways, my personal story may not work out for you as I had a sort of period of innocence, where I might occasionally bring up a question, because I had heard of the idea of non-belief and recently the Internet had been shoving it down my throat and it'd make me mad because I was very into my religion at the time and i hated all the slandering...it was a couple years ago so I'd complain to my mother about it, and i was a depressed kid as it was, religion was so comforting...like it'd be alright, ya know?

So I would question and my mom would be irritated but she'd give me a decent answer...This whole time I had been pretty deep into my religion, it was so personal, not even much of a community thing (obviously,since I have AS).

I liked the community because of the religion, not the other way around, if you know what I'm saying.


Anyways, yeah, I brought it up very subtly with my parents after I had this nightmare, after seeing the Amityville Horror and in Spring Break I didn't go anywhere, I was basically secluded and started seeing stuff, being scared of nothing...and my mom prayed for me... told me to read incantations...it wasn't working and I told her straight up...She's devout and it didn't really affect her...She prays for me which is nice...

But my family understands, I pray with them, and do everything, except I don't go to slaughter...as I don't eat animal flesh...period.

I wonder about the non-religious who DO eat meat, what are they thinking?

OP, I hope you don't have to deal with any physical or emotional violence in your home. If it was me -- and it was -- I'd have a conversation about it with my parents. I didn't break it to them all at once, because I basically became an atheist from the moment I met my first atheist, but I did mention casually that I had some doubts as to the literal truth of the Bible.