Finding a Moral Center Before Changing Others?

Post Reply New Topic

Sometimes I am to overwhelmed to post back or I find it hard to think of something to say because I have about 30 different scenarios all that can be worded differently. Sometimes I wonder how I got myself into such a mess. All this can make me anxious.

Hard core facts usually persuade my thinking.

But I still know when a person is generally good in the heart, the very fact somebody talks to me shows they have time.

Ahogday I don't think you can judge a person on how nice they are on the rate that they reply back

That's what human being in balance is all about, reciprocal social communication, in the give and take of life per human mutual respect.

Some Autistic folks try and get it wrong in the eyes of others, at times.

And truly some do not try at all, perhaps because of bullying in environmental factors or potential innate factors as well.

Overall, this is perhaps the worst place to find friends, AND THE BEST place to SEE A different point of view.

I love different, perhaps that makes me strange.

I get along with all peer groups no matter what the demographic is, if given the chance.

My Autism is kind LIKE one of A KIND PER THE WHOLE DAM SPECIES as different or NOT.. but not HATE! as is the result of so many attempts at what looks like communication here.

And to be clear I do not judge anyone on a personal basis, as I know the depths of human challenge that CAN TAKE ONE TO HATE.

AND often what looks like HATE IS either clearly or NOT CLEARLY intended that way.

So I keep on keeping on, in respect of that enlightening knowledge, per the most important thing of all, HUMAN LIFE IN BALANCE.

I AGREE, PER REASONS given in the comment above.

I usually find that giving my self timeout helps me anyway, If I take time out it refreshes my brain, I can work out each part of the sentence properly. When i start questioning the very answer sometimes I can get a completely different perspective. Mostly strong emotions can get in the way of higher reasoning, that's why I understand people say meditation is important, and I don't mean sitting there with legs crossed and two crystal balls.

Last edited by Grommit on 17 Jan 2015, 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sometimes I am to quick to jump to conclusions and it causes unnecessary anger. It's a horrible trait. And I get very upset with myself. Taking timeout has saved me from this type of scenario a few times

Last edited by Grommit on 17 Jan 2015, 2:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IT'S a life long practice that I think most everyone works on.

The following ancient and present wisdom that truly never changes, illustrates it well, with emotion that truly inspires human change through heArt as art, AS always the best way for change either for self or others, overall, when healthy minds are at play.

One of natures toughest obstacles is communication and understanding. don't give yourself too much of a hard time. It would be monumental if human could accept each other's differences.

I cant watch the video because I'm on an android in Canada, but I think the wolf is saying, "You look'n at me?"
This business about reciprocal verbalization that aghogday mentioned is very important in the NT world. To not respond to a verbalization can be a great insult.

Also Siamese Fighting Fish, aka, bettas are so beautiful. I would get one but my cats are a bit young yet.

So yeah, its important to respect other people's freedom of existence, for sure.

So true, and as my therapist was relating to me during the period of time, where I lost all human emotion she told me perhaps the best advice I ever received and this is 'WE' should LEARN TO BE OUR OWN EMPATHIC PARENTS.

WITH That gift in TWO ways of being INSIDE and OUTSIDE 'we' CAN have the 'divine' masculine and feminine influence in our mind and body in potential balance.

And beyond that, 'we' truly need not look for ONE other person to complete us, SINGULARLY, as we THEN MAY find ourselves in a place of giving rather than receiving only...for all others instead of a close nuclear family.

My father was in law enforcement for 46 years, and truly never even made me feel like I existed in his life.

He left when I was three, with biannual visits after that for a few hours at a time.

The fearless man he was, is the genetic gift I now have in practice, as I started taking selfies and finally comprehended that the man in the 'mirror' of selfies is truly me, in practice but not prison of ego, in the place my father seemed to live.

The mother part was never a problem, as my mother's empathic ways are engrained both innately and environmentally in every cell of my being.

But the divine feminine is not enough FOR TRUE HUMAN SURVIVAL ALONE.

IT TAKES fearless too, to get by in the FULL COMPLEXITY of what this life can be.

PER LOVE AND SURVIVAL in human cooperation, as a social animal at core.

My Dad left me when I was 4. I never saw much of him after that. He's dead now. I still have a lot of emotions tied to that, lack of trust and faith in others being paramount. Did you forgive your father for leaving you? And, if so, how?

True, and I learned that from working at a Bowling Center many years ago, where before, I would only look at the other person, and perhaps nod and smile.

Now I make it a cognitive effort to respond to almost every comment that even remotely relates to me online or off.

Perhaps it looks like I am trying to have the last word, but it truly is a very old and very well engrained cognitive device for social survival in the wild of the BOWLING ALLEY WORLD.

AS YOU might imagine it was a nightmare when it started out, but I needed a job, and computers were just being introduced to Bowling Centers, and I was just the ticket the mechanical minded manager needed to UNDERSTAND THE new ways of computers back in 1984; no pun intended, it really was literally 1984.

The day that computers came, and eventually erased Bowling Center leagues off the MAP, OVERALL, IN SOCIAL EFFECT AND AFFECT OF LIFE, ha! ha! back in 1984.

AND TRULY that is a metaphor for modern life, as this world is more Autistic oriented that IT EVER WAS BEFORE, PER GETTING BY in life, without real life social interaction.

It is a world more and more designed both by Autistic leaning people and lived well by them, as well.

But of course there are many many exceptions to any imaginary or concrete rule, as life proves out time and time again, from forming Bowling Leagues to QUANTUM PHYSICS and the observer effect.

Yeah, one of my favorite movies is the BIG Lebowski, for MORE THAN ONE REASON.



Sorry, forgot about the Android but if you haven't seen the movie, it's funny as hell OR HEAVEN.

I will check it out!

I started working in '86 at a card shop. I was terrible. But 15 years in retail taught me a few tricks.

TO BE honest, I did carry a lot of resentment AND truly did not get over it until I recovered from my illness, as the physical pain I suffered removed the anxiety out of my life, as there was nothing imaginable that was worse, at that point when I recovered.

My father was like Sean Connery in the Old James Bond movies.

HE was rock hard cool, with almost nothing ever changing his persona from the law enforcement dude with a huge masculine hand carrying a cigarette or a gun.

However, Now I'm so glad he did leave, as now I understand what kind of man I could have been if he was in my environment, during my early years.

I think I could have been a cold-hearted person, if he did teach me his ways of patriarchal non-bending masculinity.

I am so glad I am not afraid to FULLY EXPRESS THE FEMININE SIDE OF MY NATURE, AND YEAH, I was beat up bad for it, per verbal abuse, in my extremely patriarchal region of locality, which by the way, is considered by a recent study, per Pensacola, FL, a little south of where I live, in my even more extreme patriarchal town, per three bases of military influence, and MOST churches per square mile of fundamentalist type, per old Guinness World Record book, AS THE TOUGHEST PLACE TO BE DIFFERENT in the United States.

To have never been able to have a warm heart, IS the worst thing imaginable, now that I experienced what a cold one feels like during my illness, for five long years, and know AND FEEL the difference.

I'll take all that bullying I received, through the longer course of my life, anyway, any now, over a COLD HEART OF LIFE.

It sounds like us three are similar position, we each had a turbulent childhood, had lack of physical contact with parents, and my parents also passed away. I think I have had to learn a lot after such a devastating experience, I had to reason with myself a lot to stay healthy.

Agohogday I can't watch the video either sorry I will try later, videos are slow on my device.

Here's something I wrote earlier:
If someone says you have an answer for everything, you say:
I know there is fact an answer to everything just as that answer answers your question

And now we are presented with a conundrum

From all the research I've read it appears to be at least somewhat related to many cases of Autism, if not a prime factor in some of the reciprocal social communication issues.

A common issue I've seen in online Autism Communities is a hatred for not only one's own parents but parents in general.

I was never able to go from resentment to hatred though, mostly as my mother did stay, and was a very nurturing and stable source of trusted love.

It's interesting, as before the pill came on board, and women of the very feminine type moved more toward the beta male type, per the interaction of hormones, it was often the super masculine man that the super feminine female was attracted to and per vice versa, as it still is for the alpha male.

And that's what my father was, almost the ideal of human masculinity.

And my mother was voted as having the best figure in high school, with all her virginal ways STILL INTACT.

MY FATHER rarely even talked to my mother after they married, and his twin brother, my uncle, never even said a word to my mother.

Autism is in the family tree for me MOST DEFINITELY.

MY SISTER is diagnosed with Asperger's in mid-life, and my Uncle's (father's identical twin brother) son, my cousin, of similar age, fits all the criteria, with or without a diagnosis.

And he's (cousin) an Elvis and Blue's Brothers impersonator, ironically enough, the Dan Akroyd role, per self diagnosis in Dan's real life way.