Gender Identity

Post Reply New Topic

This is what worked for me:
1. Look and act normal
2. Be able and willing to fight

I can't speak for the rest of the world.

The truth?
It depends:
As an adult, yes.
As a kid, probably not since I was doing well just to hold my own.

I'll still stand by the motto if you look like food you will be eaten.....

I'm glad it worked for you.

Like you, I had no idea I was Aspie - hell they didn't even have the term when I was a kid (60's-70's). I hated fighting but if pushed I would fight back, and then end up in a bundle of tears, even when I won against the bully.

As for look and act normal, I had no clues what that meant. I was odd. I had some clues that I was odd, but had no clues how to be anything different. It was mostly as an adult that I started learning to be "normal," but it ain't that easy. I guess some people know how to "act normal" better than others.

Your step 1 and 2 didn't work for me. Sure, I was able to fight back, but it didn't stop me being bully bait, didn't stop me being "odd." And your 2 steps wouldn't work for others, for a whole bunch of reasons.

The big problem with acting normal is that it becomes so much a habit that your life becomes an act. I did learn to act relatively normal as an adult, but I also know doing so makes me self conscious, even now. The habit stops me being me.

Men are supposed to be macho, steak loving, football playing, intimacy disabled, emotionless neanderthals who hate being tactile unless hugging your mates when your team has won. That's the male "normal." I have my masculine moments, but trying to fit that type of normal is too much hard work. It's just not me. And if I'm a relatively masculine male, imagine how much harder it would be for a more feminine male to act "normal."

One size does not fit all.

I like to think of myself as sort of a dance crusader to make room by action example, for more males and even females, in my extremely macho patriarchal area to express more of their graceful potential, as the repression of human emotions and robot moves away from grace are what lead to so much human stress, discontent, and suffering.

Almost everyone in my metro area has now seen a ballet like dance done in public by a 233LB extremely patriarchal law-enforcement and or military looking dude.

And yes, I mold myself like this, down to the act of LEG pressing 930LBS, 14 times, as this expression of human, for precisely this reason, to BREAK MANY HUMAN STEREOTYPES, AND TO MAKE potentially more room for human freedom of expression, particularly in ways of physical intelligence that as I report time and time again, science now suggests helps in emotional regulation, sensory integration, and cognitive executive functioning by way of human focus and short term working memory.

But the best thing of all, is, it makes folks happy IN REAL LIFE.

It's rare to see an unhappy person dance.

And dance is a 'sacred' human archetype that is real and measurable to make that happy reality manifest in human being, as potentially MORE healthy and well balanced, HUMAN BEING.

Plus, it is incredible fun for me, with a joy that is hard to put fully into words....

And honestly, if I was afraid to express my feminine nature freely, as I was for so many years, by the bully pulpit of binary patriarchal gender roles, I would have never gained this type of happiness.

'We all' have feminine and masculine minds and bodies to some degree, and to fully express that in balance, is like heaven now, to me, at least.

To be afraid to be fully human is truly

the unfortunate and saddest thing

i know

NOW.

And I for one, in real life, am changing that sad reality, one dance partner

at
a

time..

With many more steps and words...

to
come
and
go..