God loves farts

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beakybird
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06 Feb 2016, 12:32 am

Right guys? I mean we all must have gas for a reason? Who farted?!?!? Right?!?!?!?

nurseangela
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06 Feb 2016, 12:35 am

Howdy. Actually your normal person does it at least 14 times a day.

Has anyone tried Beano? Does it really work? Just wondered.

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nurseangela
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06 Feb 2016, 12:49 am

What is it with men and farting? There's this guy nurse I work with that will be talking to me and then he'll say "wait a second" and then fart right in front of me and start laughing like a mental patient. I'm like with?! And the same thing happened on my first day of orientation my orientator guy I remember we were standing there getting report and he just farted right out in the open like it was nothing - totally straight faced. Of course me being Miss Etiquette just started laughing uncontrollably right there in disbelief and it took me awhile to get myself under control. I thought that kind of acting was for younger guys but the one that oriented me is in his 40's so he isn't going to change. DO ALL GUYS DO THAT?

And what if a guy was on a date with some really nice looking woman and she cut a few, what would he think? Are women allowed to do it too?

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Yigeren
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06 Feb 2016, 1:43 am

I would say that if God exists, he must be okay with the existence of flatulence, as it's a normal and necessary part of functioning for many mammals.

naturalplastic
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06 Feb 2016, 7:05 am

Q:What is the composition of a fart?

A: Methane gas.

Q:What is the largest planet in the solar system,Jupiter, made mostly of?

A:Methane gas.

Ergo God must like methane gas.

So I guess the OP must be right.

0_equals_true
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06 Feb 2016, 7:22 am

naturalplastic wrote:

Q:What is the composition of a fart?

A: Methane gas.

Farts are mostly nitrogen and hydrogen. The level of methane is actually less then 7% in some of the population and only a bit higher in specific demographics. Often there isn't enough to be flammable it is the hydrogen that lights up. The amount of methane is related to gut Bacteria.

Cows are being given gut bacteria associated with Kangaroos/Wallabies to try an bring down their methane level.

For grass eater kangaroo and wallabies are remarkably efficient and energy conversion for their size.

However it is cow burps that are worse than their farts for methane emissions, apparently.

Methane is also odorless, despite people associating it with smell.

Sulfur based gasses like sulfur dioxide are what give the bad smell. These only have to be is a very small quantity to be detectable.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 06 Feb 2016, 7:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hopper
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06 Feb 2016, 7:38 am

nurseangela wrote:

And what if a guy was on a date with some really nice looking woman and she cut a few, what would he think? Are women allowed to do it too?

The apparent inherent hilarity of bodily functions is something that I've never understood.

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06 Feb 2016, 7:39 am

If god loves farts, I think that we should all show our devotion by switching to a diet of pickled eggs and Tijuana Mama pickled hot sausages.

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slenkar
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06 Feb 2016, 11:55 am

I got really embarrassed whenever I farted.

Activia yoghurt pretty much cures the problem.

0_equals_true
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06 Feb 2016, 12:14 pm

slenkar wrote:

I got really embarrassed whenever I farted.

Activia yoghurt pretty much cures the problem.

I use a different brand Alpro, they help with IBS.

However if you eat too much plus drink fruit juice it will cause gas. However this is less of a problem than IBS.

I only eat too much becuase I like the taste. Glutton for punishment. :lol:

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06 Feb 2016, 12:55 pm

If I'm around others, like at work, I'll go to an empty room or outside to cut loose. Sometimes I'll intentionally do it around people to end a pointless or boring conversation, or to get rid of an annoying person.
I'll tell them: "You'd better finish up and move on because you're about to be gassed". :twisted:

Dog farts have got to be the worse.

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slenkar
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06 Feb 2016, 1:41 pm

0_equals_true wrote:

slenkar wrote:

I got really embarrassed whenever I farted.

Activia yoghurt pretty much cures the problem.

Glad you found a solution to your IBS, that can be a bad condition I've heard

0_equals_true
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06 Feb 2016, 1:58 pm

slenkar wrote:

Glad you found a solution to your IBS, that can be a bad condition I've heard

Yes I manage it more. I started with digestive advantage probiotic ant that helped a lot, now just eat alpro.

Mashed potato mixed in with general diet helps too.

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06 Feb 2016, 2:09 pm

Kefir helped my IBS.Dont overdo it at first,I drank a half a bottle and it increased fart production the first day.I think it was kick starting all the good bacteria in my gut.Beano works,but you have to remember to take it before a meal.
I never understood fart humor either,I've seen guys light them on fire and they thought it was the funniest thing ever.

On dog farts,I think some breeds just fart more.My Dobie had the rankest ever and seemed to hold then till we got in the car.The dogs I have now(A Corgi,two Catahoula Curs,and the abandoned dog)don't seem to fart as much.The brand of dog food can definetly affect this.My son brought me a bag of Strongheart for the pooches and they started farting like crazy.It should be called Strongfart.

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NobodyKnows
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06 Feb 2016, 5:11 pm

...and secular academicians hate farts:

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/Global ... 201&page=1

So *that's* why Christians and academia are at each-others' throats. The world makes sense now.

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06 Feb 2016, 6:24 pm

Raptor wrote:

Dog farts have got to be the worse.

Especially if they eminate out the rear end of a basset hound, and said hound is known to emit "silent, but deadly" emissions. :skull:

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