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adifferentname
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17 Oct 2016, 9:00 am

Jute wrote:
[As I've already mentioned I have aphantasia, I can't "visiualise" anything, including grids of black and white squares.


I have the same problem. I wonder how common it is on the spectrum.

How is your ear for music?



jrjones9933
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17 Oct 2016, 9:15 am

We could also spread understanding of the Fundamental Attribution Error. People tend to make more generous assumptions about the causes of their own outcomes than they make about other people's causes.

For instance, if I show up on time to work, it's because I set my alarm early enough and did everything right. If I'm late, it's because of completely unforeseeable external circumstances like waking up to a flat tire.

We don't tend to be so generous with other people, and will often assume that if someone else succeeds it's due to external circumstances such as luck or being shown favoritism. Likewise, when people see someone else show up late to work, they will assume it's because of something they did wrong. When people see someone who doesn't make enough money, they will assume a lack of motivation.

Obviously, we give our friends a lot of the same benefit of the doubt we give ourselves, and extend some to our in-group. People make this error most often when they have almost no information about the situation.

There's a lot of research on this, across different cultures.


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adifferentname
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17 Oct 2016, 9:51 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
We could also spread understanding of the Fundamental Attribution Error. People tend to make more generous assumptions about the causes of their own outcomes than they make about other people's causes.


If there was one behavioural rule that, if followed, would lead to far more pleasant social interactions for all humanity, it would be the strict avoidance of correspondence bias.

Sadly, it seems to be inherent to cognitive mapping in human beings - if not so deeply-ingrained as group bias.



jrjones9933
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17 Oct 2016, 10:02 am

Yeah, way too ambitious. Join me in the possibly achievable!


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kraftiekortie
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17 Oct 2016, 10:35 am

Hey Jute:

I wasn't making any suggestions for "personal improvement," either.

I'm just pointing out that one could improve one's situation even amid "black and white thinking."

Like one could become a better engineer, say, through training.



adifferentname
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17 Oct 2016, 10:59 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
Yeah, way too ambitious. Join me in the possibly achievable!


:lol:



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17 Oct 2016, 12:34 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
Sorry that doesn't work, that type of person needs blasted in the face before they understand why it's best not to start conflicts-- it's the only language they'll understand.


Have you had much luck with that technique?


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Aristophanes
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17 Oct 2016, 1:18 pm

Dox47 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
Sorry that doesn't work, that type of person needs blasted in the face before they understand why it's best not to start conflicts-- it's the only language they'll understand.


Have you had much luck with that technique?

Proof is in the pudding, you got blasted last time we debated and you backed off-- so yes, an aggressive response to aggression does work.

Edit:
My "blast them in the face" comment isn't how I like to approach things, but living in an area where that is the go-to mode of conflict resolution, you learn quickly that some people just plain won't give you respect unless you MAKE them respect you. Likewise, if I were in Seattle and used that approach I wouldn't be getting "kudos" from the audience after the altercation, I'd be getting my ass sent to jail for assault. Where I live, it is necessary to be a big-dick swinging, chest puffing aggressor-- if you're not you get treated like dirt. When in Rome do as the Romans, just realize that the philosophy I mentioned, that's not a liberal one, that's a conservative one I've been forced to adopt by geography.



Last edited by Aristophanes on 17 Oct 2016, 1:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dox47
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17 Oct 2016, 1:40 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
Proof is in the pudding, you got blasted last time we debated and you backed off-- so yes, an aggressive response to aggression does work.


Actually, I usually back off when someone launches a flagrant personal attack, I want the mods to have a clear cut idea of who to come down on, so I try not to muddy the waters. That, and I thought the post was so embarrassing to you that my best move was to get out of the way.


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Aristophanes
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17 Oct 2016, 1:58 pm

Dox47 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
Proof is in the pudding, you got blasted last time we debated and you backed off-- so yes, an aggressive response to aggression does work.


Actually, I usually back off when someone launches a flagrant personal attack, I want the mods to have a clear cut idea of who to come down on, so I try not to muddy the waters. That, and I thought the post was so embarrassing to you that my best move was to get out of the way.


Oh trust me they know who started it, I merely finished it. Go cry me a river.

Edit: also, to avoid further conflict I'm going to do us both a favor and utilize the foe list-- cause let's face it, the only way either one of us is going to back down is a duel at dawn, which sadly, is outlawed.



Boxman108
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17 Oct 2016, 2:39 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
Proof is in the pudding, you got blasted last time we debated and you backed off-- so yes, an aggressive response to aggression does work.


Actually, I usually back off when someone launches a flagrant personal attack, I want the mods to have a clear cut idea of who to come down on, so I try not to muddy the waters. That, and I thought the post was so embarrassing to you that my best move was to get out of the way.


Oh trust me they know who started it, I merely finished it. Go cry me a river.

Edit: also, to avoid further conflict I'm going to do us both a favor and utilize the foe list-- cause let's face it, the only way either one of us is going to back down is a duel at dawn, which sadly, is outlawed.


There you have it folks, mr. PC, someone to totally look up to and not a hypothetical coward. ;)


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Dox47
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17 Oct 2016, 2:40 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
Oh trust me they know who started it, I merely finished it. Go cry me a river.


Crying? Those were tears of laughter at your imitation of a red faced southern sheriff from an 80s movie, really, funny stuff.

More germane to my point in this thread, however, is that I did not back down because I was deterred in any way, I did so because experience has taught me to disengage from people who are about to bring moderator attention down, so that I don't get caught up as collateral damage, which refutes your theory. Believe me, I've tried it myself here many times, and I've had to conclude that the "hit them back twice as hard so they think about it next time" school of rude post deterrence simply doesn't work, and only gives ammo to your enemies when they try to paint you as the jerk. I can't imagine it works any better in person, unless your idea of "better" involves a lot of bar fights.

Aristophanes wrote:
Edit: also, to avoid further conflict I'm going to do us both a favor and utilize the foe list-- cause let's face it, the only way either one of us is going to back down is a duel at dawn, which sadly, is outlawed.


Unfortunately, the button doesn't work, so you'll have to ignore me manually.


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17 Oct 2016, 2:42 pm

Dox47 wrote:
Unfortunately, the button doesn't work, so you'll have to ignore me manually.

Not hard to do, I'll just look for the steaming pile of BS and walk the other way.



adifferentname
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17 Oct 2016, 2:45 pm

You're both pretty. Now go play outside.



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17 Oct 2016, 3:04 pm

Jute wrote:
Jute wrote:
I'm sorry I simply don't undertand what it is that you're suggesting. My brain is "wired" in a certain way and it predetermines how I think and view things, I know no other ways. I see in black and white. I can hear someone say "see in grey" but it has absolutely no meaning for me, it's not that I choose only to see in black and white, it's just how my mind operates


Which part of I don't choose to think in black and white, I know no other way of thinking can't people understand?

What is better? I've been told at least twice on this thread I can make myself "better" but nobody has bothered to explain what better means in this context, even though I asked. Who says that I want to be "better" even if I could change my way of thinking, which I've already stated that I can't.

As I've already mentioned I have aphantasia, I can't "visiualise" anything, including grids of black and white squares.

I simply made a comment about how black and white thinking is one of the criteria for diagnosing autism. I didn't ask for personal improvement tips and I didn't ask to be described as being "afflicted." I have nothing else to add to this thread or in fact to this entire forum. I'm quitting.



Hey, Jute, don't quit. Sometimes stuff gets painful. There's a lot of different people here, but it's generally possible to meet someone who's got the same issues you do. The aphantasia is a big thing. I'm rather the opposite - I have pictures in a bad way. So we'll use different strategies. Surely you can't be the first person in the world to deal with this.

And yes, I'm sure it's possible to work on black and white thinking - even just getting older will help - but a person can only do a few things at a time, and we are none of us great multitaskers. You seem to have plenty of stuff to think about. Sometimes the mismatch between what people want from you and what you can provide can be so soul-crushing.

What makes this forum so valuable is not just the shared stories, but also the differences. One thing I think it demonstrates rather well is that autistic people are persons, and not just clones of each other.


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17 Oct 2016, 3:07 pm

adifferentname wrote:
You're both pretty. Now go play outside.

We don't win at discussions any more. :(
Make PPR great again!


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