Bored-Again Christian: 10 Years of Failed Prophesies.

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Fnord
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26 Jun 2018, 1:23 pm

2008 (03/21) The Lord's Witnesses use convoluted numerology to demonstrate that "the end of the world is 2008 March 21st." They also claim that the United Nations will take over the world between March 26 and April 24, 2001, and afterward nobody will be able to buy or sell without the Mark of the Beast!

2008 (04/06) The beginning of Christ's millennial reign, according to Philip B. Brown.

2009 (??/??) According to "Earth Changes" prophetess Lori Adaile Toye of the "I Am America Foundation", a series of Earth changes beginning in 1992 and ending in 2009 will cause much of the world to be submerged, and only 1/3 of America's population will survive. You can even order a map of the flooded USA from her website!

2010 (??/??) The final year according to the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. (Shaw p. 223)

2010 (Or 2012) "discontinuous event coming -- they peg it to the date 2010 or 2012" Scott Mandelker, who claims to have an ET soul; (from CNI News Vol. 3 No. 3, Part 2, an email newsletter)

2010 Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn: This order predicted the world would end during this year.

2011 (05/21) Harold Camping predicted that the Rapture and devastating earthquakes would occur on this date with God taking approximately 3% of the world's population into Heaven, and that the end of the world would occur five months later on October 21.

2011 (10/21) Harold Camping: When his original prediction failed to come about, Camping revised his prediction and said that on May 21, a "Spiritual Judgment" took place, and that both the physical Rapture and the end of the world would occur on October 21, 2011.

2011 (09/29) Ronald Weinland stated Jesus Christ would return on this day. He prophesied nuclear explosions in U.S. port cities by July 2008 as the blowing of the Second Trumpet of Revelation. After his prophecy failed to come true he changed the date for the return of Jesus Christ to May 27, 2012.

2011 (??/??) Another possible date for Earth's entry into the Photon Belt. (See the May 5, 1997 entry)

2011 (05/11) A Taiwanese prophet calling himself "Professor Wang" predicted that Taiwan would be destroyed in a 14.0 earthquake, triggering a tsunami that would kill millions.

2011 (05/21) Harold Camping, whose rapture predictions failed in 1994 and 1995, decided to jump back in to the date-setting game, predicting this as the day of the Rapture. His prediction attracted major publicity. "The Bible Guarantees It", the billboards proclaimed, and thousands of people around the world actually fell for it.

2011 (05/21) The Apocalyptic predictions of Harold Camping fail to come true.

2011 (05/29) Marilyn Agee has been at it consistently throughout the last couple of decades. After countless failed predictions over the years, she has set yet another date for the Rapture.

2011 (10/21) After the embarrassing non-rapture of May 21, Harold Camping called the non-event an "invisible Judgement Day" and reset the Rapture to October 21.

2011 (12/31) In an interesting parallel to the Harmonic Convergence concept, Solara Antara Amaa-ra, leader of the "11:11 Doorway" movement, claims that there's a "doorway of opportunity" lasting from January 11, 1992 to December 31, 2011 in which humanity is given the final chance to rid itself of evil and attain a higher level of consciousness, or doom will strike. (Wojcik p. 206)

2012 (12/21) Various: The 2012 phenomenon predicted the world would end at the end of the 13th b'ak'tun. The Earth would be destroyed by an asteroid, Nibiru, or some other interplanetary object; an alien invasion; or a supernova. Mayanist scholars stated that no extant classic Maya accounts forecasted impending doom, and that the idea that the Long Count calendar ends in 2012 misrepresented Maya history and culture. Scientists from NASA, along with expert archeologists, stated that none of those events were possible.

2012 (06/30) José Luis de Jesús predicted that the world's governments and economies would fail on this day, and that he and his followers would undergo a transformation that would allow them to fly and walk through walls.

2012 (05/27) Ronald Weinland stated that Jesus Christ would return and the world would end on this day. This is a "revised" prediction form an earlier failed prediction made by Mr. Weinland that Jesus would return on May 27, 2011. He had also "predicted" that nuclear bombs would destroy US ports in 2008.

2012 (??/??) James T. Harmon's Rapture prediction #3. (Oropeza p. 89)

2012 (??/??) Michael Drosnin, author of "The Bible Code," found a hidden message in the Pentateuch (the first five books in the Bible) that predicts that a comet will crash into the earth in 2012 and annihilate all life.

2015 (03/03) Edward Palamar, self-proclaimed prophet, predicts that the "Three Days of Darkness, where only blessed matches and beeswax candles shall be able to provide light" must occur no later than December 27-29th, 2018 A.D.

2012 (12/21) New Age writers cite Mayan and Aztec calendars which predict the end of the age on Dec 21, 2012.

2012 (12/21) Terence McKenna combines Mayan chronology with a New Age pseudoscience called Novelty Theory to conclude that the collision of an asteroid or some "trans-dimensional object" with the Earth, or alien contact, or a solar explosion, or the transformation of the Milky Way into a quasar, or some other "ultranovel" event will occur on this day. Anyway, something is supposed to happen, and he has lots of pseudoscientific gobbledygook to back up his thesis.

2012 (12/22) The Mayan calendar has many divisions of time: months of 20 days, years of 360 days, katun of 7200 days and a baktun of 144,000 days. Their calendar started on 3114-AUG-13 BCE with the birth of Venus. They expected the world to last for exactly 13 baktun cycles. They anticipated the end of the world near the Winter Solstice of 2012.

2012 (12/23) The endpoint of the ancient Mayan calendar. Some interpret it to signify the end of the world, though there's no evidence the Maya believed this. (Abanes p. 342)

2013 (08/23) Grigori Rasputin prophesied a storm would take place on this day where fire would destroy most life on land and Jesus Christ would come back to Earth to comfort those in distress. It didn't happen.

2014 (??/??) John Hagee and Mark Biltz: The so-called Blood Moon Prophecy, first predicted by Mark Blitz in 2008 and then by John Hagee in 2014. These Christian ministers claimed that the tetrad in 2014 and 2015 represent prophecies given in the Bible relating to the second coming of Jesus Christ.

2015 (03/03) Edward Palamar, self-proclaimed prophet, predicts that in 387 days (2016/04/22) the "great noise" and fire of which St. Peter wrote in 2 Peter 3:10 shall come to be. He also claims to be resurrected into the kingship of the personage in Daniel 11:3; that his three older brothers are and were kings of Persia; that his sire was the fourth king of Persia; and that his father was put to death by his eldest brother. (Baha'i Forums, Interfaith).

2015 (09/14) Edward Palamar, self-proclaimed prophet, claims that September would begin the "First Year of Judgment" (he does not elaborate on its meaning), that 8 days before the Three Days of Darkness (when Satan and his minions would be temporarily released from Hell) a warning sign will be given -- the beginning of the Leonid meteor shower on November 16, 2016 A.D., which occurs on or about that date every year. He further predicts that November 23, 2016 A.D. is also supposed to be "exceptionally cold".

2016 (??/??) An article in Weekly World News describes a find by a Professor Lloyd Cunningdale of Salt Lake City who was excavating with his students at the site of the famous Donner party disaster of 1847. The latter were a group of settlers bound for California who became trapped by snow in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Cunningdale and students have found a time capsule left by the settlers which contains many predictions for the future. They predict that nations will abandon traditional methods of conflict and resort to the use of biological warfare. In 2016, one such disease will spread and kill all of the humans on the planet.

2016 (03/22) The "great noise" and fire (of which St. Peter wrote in 2 Peter 3:10) predicted by Edward Palamar fails to occur.

2016 (11/23) Beginning of the Leonid meteor shower (an event that happens at this time every year), which Edward Palamar, self-proclaimed prophet, declares would be the sign that all should begin to prepare for the "Three Days of Darkness" in December.

2016 (11/24 to 11/26) Edward Palamar, self-proclaimed prophet, predicted that there would be "Three Days of Darkness" during this time. These three days were just as well-lit as they were the previous year, and no beeswax candles were needed.

2017 (09/23) David Meade claims the world is ending on this date when a mysterious planet named "Nibiru" collides with Earth. When the world didn't end, Meade said that Saturday will only mark the beginning of a series of catastrophic events to occur over several weeks. David Meade's predictions depend largely on his subjective interpretations of verses and numbers in the Bible -- specifically the number 33. Nibiru was predicted to crash into Earth in December of 2015 and also in September of 2016, which obviously did not occur. Some even anticipated the large blue planet described by David Meade to hit Earth in full force in 2003.

2017 (??/??) The "Prophet Gabriel" supposedly told the Sword of God Brotherhood that the "dying time" will come in 2017, and only members of the cult will survive. Everyone else will "perish in hellfire."

2017 Sword of God Brotherhood: The "Prophet Gabriel" supposedly told the Sword of God Brotherhood that the "dying time" will come in 2017, and only members of the cult will survive. Everyone else will "perish in hellfire."

2018 (04/23) After his 2017 prediction failed, David Meade predicted the rapture would take place and that the world would end on this date. It didn't.


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SabbraCadabra
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26 Jun 2018, 3:29 pm

Say what you will, I'm still convinced that the Mayans were right.


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Fnord
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26 Jun 2018, 3:31 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
Say what you will, I'm still convinced that the Mayans were right.
They were certainly off by at least one baktun.


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SabbraCadabra
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26 Jun 2018, 4:04 pm

I sure as heck wouldn't call anything since December 2012 "an age of enlightenment", seems like we've mostly been on a downhill slope.

Maybe it's not THE END, but it's like the movie's over, and nobody wants to go home, so they just loiter around for a while.


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naturalplastic
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26 Jun 2018, 4:21 pm

ALL of those prophecies were right.

Its just that the world is having....a slow, lingering, death!

The worst kind!



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27 Jun 2018, 1:25 am

Yet they still keep saying Jesus Christ is comin' back real soon.


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27 Jun 2018, 3:47 am

im impressed and delighted by the list xD



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27 Jun 2018, 8:06 am

Tanker wrote:
im impressed and delighted by the list xD
It's part of an even longer one that stretches back over 2,000 years to the Bronze Age.


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EzraS
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27 Jun 2018, 8:18 am

An archangel appeared in my room and told me when the end of the world will occur, but I think I was being punk'd. I could clearly hear Gabriel and Michael giggling in the background.



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27 Jun 2018, 12:33 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Yet they still keep saying Jesus Christ is comin' back real soon.

With more Christians indulging in greed these days, if Christ does come back, they wouldn't want to face the music. Instead, they'll be a Grinch and stop Jesus from coming and if he comes back anyway, they'll re-crucify him. Whatever it takes to keep the money party going.


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27 Jun 2018, 1:02 pm

Irony: The fundamentalists keep making up apocalypse prophecies that never come true … but they ignore very real threats to the planet such as anthropogenic climate change and antibiotic misuse.

In other words, they only believe in the end of the world when it is scientifically impossible.


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27 Jun 2018, 1:43 pm

A lot of these recent "prophesies" seem to be derived from the "Taken Away" series of books.
If you get your theology from this source, you've got problems.


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27 Jun 2018, 2:11 pm

glebel1 wrote:
A lot of these recent "prophesies" seem to be derived from the "Taken Away" series of books.
If you get your theology from this source, you've got problems.


I've noticed that there are many Christians who get their information from books about the Bible, rather than the Bible itself.

Fundamentalists seem to treat the Bible as a sort of magical brick. You can wave the Bible over someone to magically heal them … but hardly anyone seems to actually read the Bible.

If the Bible is the flawless word of God, why is it so difficult to interpret? Why do we need so many books on how to interpret the Bible? If God is perfect and loves us, why does he speak to us in riddles? Why doesn't God ever call a spade a spade?

I've read the Bible. I highly recommend reading the Bible, regardless of what you believe in. Don't bother to read a book on Bible interpretation. Just read the Bible as it is and interpret it yourself. The Bible has been interpreted in a thousand ways because it, by itself, is absurd. When I was reading the Bible for myself, I laughed at several things that were clearly not intended to be funny.

"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
- Deuteronomy 25:11-12

^^^
That verse makes just as much sense in context.


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27 Jun 2018, 2:45 pm

DarthMetaKnight wrote:
glebel1 wrote:
A lot of these recent "prophesies" seem to be derived from the "Taken Away" series of books.
If you get your theology from this source, you've got problems.


I've noticed that there are many Christians who get their information from books about the Bible, rather than the Bible itself.

Fundamentalists seem to treat the Bible as a sort of magical brick. You can wave the Bible over someone to magically heal them … but hardly anyone seems to actually read the Bible.

If the Bible is the flawless word of God, why is it so difficult to interpret? Why do we need so many books on how to interpret the Bible? If God is perfect and loves us, why does he speak to us in riddles? Why doesn't God ever call a spade a spade?

I've read the Bible. I highly recommend reading the Bible, regardless of what you believe in. Don't bother to read a book on Bible interpretation. Just read the Bible as it is and interpret it yourself. The Bible has been interpreted in a thousand ways because it, by itself, is absurd. When I was reading the Bible for myself, I laughed at several things that were clearly not intended to be funny.

"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
- Deuteronomy 25:11-12

^^^
That verse makes just as much sense in context.

Makes me question. Are we going to hell for not choosing to follow the most absurd parts of the bible?


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DarthMetaKnight
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27 Jun 2018, 3:06 pm

Aspiegaming wrote:
Makes me question. Are we going to hell for not choosing to follow the most absurd parts of the bible?


Some people think that we are.

We generally call them "extreme fundies" … even though they are actually telling us what the Bible says.

That's the thing about Christian extremism. Like it or not, it does often reflect the actual Bible.


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