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Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 44,069
Location: Stendec

30 Jan 2020, 10:48 am

There is a story about a man who was truly altruistic. He did a lot of nice things for thousands of people over the course of about 3-1/2 years, and all he ever got in return was a crown of thorns...


Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature,
nor any ultimate evaluation of human nature beyond that which we project onto others,
individuals should be judged or defined only by their actions and choices,
and not by what we only imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


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Joined: 3 Dec 2008
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Posts: 493

30 Jan 2020, 10:49 am

hurtloam wrote:
Interesting how you are interpreting my use of the word feeling.

I don't mean that they don't feel satisfaction, I'm sure they don't, I mean that they don't feel a warm fuzzy motivation such as: "I care about this person so I want to do a nice thing for them and make them smile."

My response to your comment may have been based on my misinterpretation of what you wrote. I thought you were saying people don't do things for an internal reward but because of warm fuzzy feelings and because we care about the other person. I was arguing that internal rewards and genuinely caring about the other person are not mutually exclusive but are often one and the same, with the exception of psycho/sociopaths. But as you said/implied, psychopaths may self-generate rewards by doing good deeds because it gives them a strategic advantage over the person, and not because they genuinely care about them.

Something I disagree with you about is when you implied that 'giving up' on helping someone means one never really cared about the person to begin with. Sometimes the emotional burden is too much to ask of us, and it's quite reasonable and ethical (I believe) to help ourselves by, for lack of a better phrase, 'giving up' on them or giving 'the burden' to someone/someplace else. My great-grandfather had Alzheimer's and needed to live in a nursing home. My great-grandmother and their children (my grandparent, grand-aunts and uncles) loved him dearly, but taking care of someone with that level of needs was way too much to reasonably expect any of them to handle every day.


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Joined: 21 Sep 2019
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Location: Outter Quadrant

30 Jan 2020, 6:12 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Cloudman wrote:
I think both are good in the eyes of the other people you helped. sometimes it's about being able to help others even if u feel nothing that takes real strength. This strength is often overlooked and not recognized. Our perceived goodness usually comes from our actions. I can use myself as an example people just couldn't believe I had good intentions until they seen the results of my actions. They seen that I still wanted nothing more than to help even without feeling anything I broke all these notions that you need to feel like others do even if for just a second that's what brings me joy. You don't need to feel anything to be a good person just understand others fight for others. Have sympathy and compassion think of each person like your family. I think this is a strength if you embrace it.

I like this answer. It's a positive perspective and helps me be a bit less judgemental about someone I know. Maybe less hurt.

here is a teaser ,, think of the word 'innane' okay now think 'innate ' combine these words and the vagueries of concepts kindness .
Thrown in a dash of survival of the species ... put threw a centrifuge.. distill..
add altruism ,, and presto ...'subject matter of the topic' . might sound abit naive , but am usually guilty of that anyway. distillation processes could include , education , upbringing .. environmental affectations.

Merely my own interpetation.

Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
whereever you go ,there you are