Mad at God

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I know the tone is more like "The Haven" but I want to get something religious out. I'm mad at God because in my life things aren't or have never been going the way I like. Have been single most of the time, no work history, no car, still living at home with parents (even though they relatively mind their own business), and even structural social/cultural issues that are helping feed it that will only be getting worse.

I'm mad that God created us and allowed everything so far to happen and only for this to be a test, and afterwards we have to be lobotomized spirits for eternity, only serving him 24/7. My family and friends don't understand the perspective because they are so invested in him being a "loving" God. Makes me feel lonely. I don't want to have arguments about the details of it.

Personally, I've never seen much point in being mad at God. How can being angry at someone else's imaginary friend improve my life?

It's Worth Noting That Folks Who are Filled Up With Real Love To Give And Share And Of Course
Receive Need No Worship; One Would Hope that Any God Bigger Than Trump Doesn't Require Worship.

This Is One of Many Clues That Someone And More Folks With A Personality Disorder Likely Wrote
That Part of a Bible; As Most of the Authors Are Ghost Authors Who We have No Idea Who they are.

Now Here's the Good News; This Force This Energy This Love That Lives in Me Proves It is
Real Every Day Now Beyond All Names to Describe Something So Powerful in my Life that Just
makes life plain MaGiC; Sure i have reams of Evidence Hundreds of Links What Magic Looks Like too.

But That's Not the Point It's Not What Magic Looks Like that is the Real Deal; It Is How the Magic of Love
Within Feels and Senses in Flow of Giving Sharing Free Doing the Least Harm in Consuming The Rest of
God's Face Nature as i See Nature/God at Least inheriting the Art of EartH And ALL The Finery that Goes With Love.

God Is Love; The Force; The Energy Free Flowing Within to Give and Share...FREE.

So Far i am Hearing You Worship an External God other than the Fire of Love LiViNG
WiTHIN once again to Give and Share Free Harming Others; All Of Nature Least;
in Consuming What You Must Consume Always Giving More Than Taking Now.

Nah; i Won't Trump Bow Down to a God of "Little Men And Or Women" Devoid of the Fire
of LoVE WiTHIN That Never ever Never ever Now Requires Worship; Jesus F in Christ, if i will Do It So Will God;
That's A Rhetorical Question as Even the Original Jesus clearly intimated that God Lives Within For those Who
'See and Hear' (LoVE) without Eyes and Ears; In this Generation Now; This Kingdom of Heaven is Love at Hand Within;

Either You
Have It or
You Don't.

You Seem to Be Mad
At Stuff that doesn't have
A Whole Lot to Do With Love (God).

What I've Found in My Life is once You Light
That Fire to Give and Share all the Rest Falls in Place;
If You Do Stuff Free Like Dance in Public for 13,077 Miles
in Close to 80 Months as You Approach 60 Years-Old With
Over 2,000 Selfies With Beautiful Dancing Women Smiling Ear to Ear;
As Your Beautiful Wife Welcomes You When You Get Home as You Describe
The Booty Dances You Received As The Two Women Who asked for Your Phone
Number Mistake You For 35; And She Just Giggles As They are Trying to Get 'A Rise'
Out of Someone Old Enough to Be Their Grandfather; You, Like Me; Might Wonder Why/
How You Got to This Point of Life Where folks Yell-Out Their Car Windows as You Walk
City Blocks after 2 AM, "Legend, There's the Legend", It's True From Age 53 to Close to 60
Now my Leg Strength Increased from 500 Pounds Leg Pressing to 1520 Pounds; and Remember
i Have Evidence For All i am Saying Here for anyone who might think i'm Pulling Someone's Leg with
All that Strength; And Sure All Those Smiles All 2000 Plus in the Longest Epic Long Form Bible Poem Ever
"SonG oF mY SoUL" that i Celebrated At 8,000,0000 Words of Doing Just That in 80 Months on 4.18.2020;
But Today Is the 19th; the 81st Month Anniversary When the Doctor's Admitted that i actually Miraculously
Recovered from 19 Medical Disorders; including the Worst Pain Known to Humankind, Type Two Trigeminal
Neuralgia, Literally Assessed From Wake to Sleep as a Pain that is Worse than Crucifixion; No 3 Hour to 3 Day
Tour of Hell For Me for Real Within; Again, Wake to Sleep for 66 Months Shut-in in my Bedroom. i Looked
Within Finally found The Force of Love And Basically Healed My Self in Flow of Writing Song and Dancing
Steps As Well Free Verse;
No one gave me
any chance
for
Recovery;
but the 'Story
of Job' is Relative
as what i found is THere
is No Use in Getting Mad;
As God Lives Within as Nature;
That there is no Escaping Living;
The i God i Feel and Sense as Love
Doesn't Let anyone else Tell God What to Do.
A Free God
of Love Will
Always Do more
Within than any
External Force 'You'
Can't Feel and Sense As Real.
That's Just Common Sense and
Feel With Again the Understanding
That Love as God Will Never Need
Worship; but on the Other Hand
If You don't do it no one else will do God for
You of course, Just in my Humble 'Dancing Legend Opinion'.
The Bible, Let's Face it, in a Twitter World; Mine at Least, is Just
too big for anyone
but me to see...
That's
the only
Kinda
Bible
i Believe in
the One i Write
the Nature of God Within
The One Within Dictating it For Free...
Yeah.. there Was Other Stuff; Not able to Speak until 4;
Without Mercy Tortured In School for 'Ugly Androgyny;
Having Problems Really Talking Until 53 Years-old After
the Miraculous Recovery And All of that; A Child Lived in
Only 51 Days of Pain and Died In my Arms; His Name is Ryan;
Anyway, When He Died in my Arms my only Son; my only Child;
i Determined That Really My Problems i thought i had were nothing at all;
For he never even felt a Smile in His Life; Only Pain; That Wasn't Fair but What
Is fair is He saved my Life; For When i lived in Hell With the Worst Pain Known to Humankind;
The Worst Part Was Losing my Emotions where i could remember the Feeling of A smile at all;
For Memories are Emotions And Emotions are Memories; No Longer a Reference Point at all;
But you
see logically
i knew i once
Lived as A Human
Being with A Soul Smile
Within; then i realized i
Already Had Heaven
And the Lesson
My only
Son Taught
Was clear; there is
some stuff in Life that is worse than
Death; i lived once; He Helped me be Brave Enough
to Live Again; For i realized i was already Living in Heaven
When
He
Died in Hell
And Escaped
As Death is Heaven in Hell;
i found that place too; at least
one person in my Life Could relate at some point.
Moral of the Story; Stuff in Life
Will Get Much Better and Much
Worse there are no limits to
how High
or Low
You
Will Go;
Usually it is the
Human or others
Who Set those Limits
For Us. i do more just because i can and will.
There is Dark and There is Light Eternally Now God Is Real
God
Light
And
Yes God Is Dark True too
Just Nature's Face We Breathe or Do Not.

Are you also mad at Darth Vader?

So it seems like you’ve gone from “an idealised God exists” to “God exists but isn’t loving”.

So OK, you’ve stopped believing that God must be loving just because that is what it says in the Bible and what your family and friends tell you.

The obvious next step is... why do you believe in God at all? What evidence or reasons do you have to believe in him if you know that the Bible and your friends and religious elders are not reliable?

I finally finished Prometheus and Atlas by Jason Reza Jorjani, was a bit too tired from work for the last few weeks so I decided to let the first seven chapters set in and decided to read the back five chapters this weekend.

Well worth the read but it's pretty depressing.

Lets just say that we don't have good reason to believe that we can root our understanding of the world in reductive materialism as the ultimate container of truth and at the same time we will have intrusions from the 'absurd', and they'll take the form of things ranging from pranks of the Victorian automatic-writing and mutilation of cattle to the egging on and assisting of human genocide for the raising of mass religious movements.

That puts us in a place where there likely is some extra animistic 'stuff' hanging about and as far as we can tell it seems to bend the fabric of space mostly to feed itself (or at least what isn't in that enterprise simply pays us little heed). That might not be all there is, it's just all that we can interact with and just about all that would choose to interact with us. In that sense, on one side, religious believers can't have any peace because they pray in earnest and if they're lucky they get some reflection of their own mind as a mystical image and if less lucky they get prank messages purportedly from other planets and then there's the frustration to the rationalist/materialist who hopes that the irrationality of strange beliefs can be stopped when it's no longer carried forward and - no luck there, the same Passport to Magonia crap will pop up in some other way and it's coming from what underwrites the fabric of reality so like earth quakes, tsunamis, etc. it's part of the weather that you have to deal with.

I will agree that life is zero-sum in some really obnoxious ways. For example I do an incredible amount of work to live with my parents at 40, I've learned that if you're a nerd or a knowledge worker that you're economically worth far less than someone whose bread and butter is social skills, I have friends recently tell me that if anything particular stands out its that most people 'want' to like me but I utterly confuse them when I open my mouth (without even needing to say anything as deep as I would here!), and these days with social expediency being what it is if your personality isn't a Vaseline-lubricated bullet that cuts right through everything frictionlessly and what your made of isn't the stuff of focus groups then you're something of an unsafe and even obsolete element. When you find yourself rusting at home with your parents and truly understanding that society's not only thrown you in the discard heap but means to keep you there permanently a lot of darker things you you never thought you had in you start coming to the surface, in addition to being angry on your parents behalf for how the child they put so much effort into raising is being treated but also angry that it wasn't even a fair fight - all people had to do was form teams, figure out who was a threat in whatever way, and unanimously pull up the draw bridge any time they were around - that's probably what you have to do to some degree if you're dealing with bullies but they'll extend this courtesy to anyone whose the slightest bit different (anymore I have to assume it's not with the notion that such people are serial killers - much worse - they might be more competent!), and from there it's like the very goal is to speed you along toward death as early as possible. It's a bit like society telling you that it literally doesn't want you alive and to the degree that you have a beating heart and walk out the door to present yourself for lunch or coffee is awkward for everyone involved, and once that decision has been made about someone - ie. exile and death - it seems like there's no amount of personal achievement that can call it off, something is 'marked' in your body language as having been made subject to that, which sort of galvanizes my belief that this isn't about some perceived threat to physical safety or some tragic misunderstanding of your character from their side but rather the genes telling the brain what to do and lets just say the genes are perfect moral pragmatists - they could care less about John Stewart Mill or any great secular humanist we like to hold up as exemplars of what liberal democratic thought should be.

Then there's the whole question of human flourishing - there probably aren't many dodos or bison that experienced our flourishing as an unabated good.

On one level it maybe shouldn't be all that surprising that there's a complete lack of answer from upstairs, just more disturbing - downright grating even - that there is 'more' and for anyone whose parched at wandering through the deserts of life and finding little more than vampires in most other people will be happy to know this as well - it's not that the unseen is nonexistent or unpeopled, rather it's by and large peopled with more vampires! If that doesn't tell you that life is a tower defense game where we all die eventually from thousands of cuts (a bit like John Wick but way more boring) I don't know what does.

On one hand - I can't think of anyone who shouldn't feel at least a bit raw about where their conscious 'I' experience got dropped off, it's like having a 24 karat gold liner in the bottom of a bird cage, but it's probably much better for us to at least agree on our stories more. I decided to read some Russian existentialism a few weeks ago, read Lev Shestov's 'All Things Are Possible' and there were quite a few stanzas in there that touched my heart. I could say similar things for Giacomo Leopardi and observations from his particular brand of nihilism. It might not be sunshine and rainbows but it beats the piss out of new thought / new age.

To some funny degree reading the larger paragraph above is a bit like watching part of my mind get off the rails, for example seeing life as a Darwinian killing field first and foremost where strategy is all that matters - I'm still trying to figure out how that even squares with our ability to do business and have governments or institutions for even five minutes. It's a bit like I know that I have some aspect of that layer understood correctly but I realize that I have it isolated from other variables and that I'm not giving the inhibitory factors enough credit in that excavation. I probably have it that magnified because of it's relevance in my life.

Needless to say - I'm sure everyone's had more brushes with the antisocial side of things than they care to and at best they have their own talents for routing pain and disappointment through and out of their nervous systems to remain steady.

They say the bible teaches us about love and mercy.

I think what it has really taught people for centuries is sexism, racism, and homophobia.


Murder is a sin, unless you're murdering sinners and God's enemies!

Incest is OK, until all of a sudden it's not! Bigamy is OK until suddenly it's not! But if you're gay you are an 'abomination' and should be put to death.

Oh and you're supposed to kill disobedient children but I don't see too many Christians doing that. Hypocrites.

Yeah man, I don't blame you for viewing God as cruel. In fact let's say for the sake of arguments that God is NOT real? Then that means as an imaginary being invented by humans he basically reflects on all those cruel people who killed and oppressed their fellow human beings in the name of Jesus. So in other words it's not really God you should be mad at, but rather the human race as a whole. People suck!

Taking references out of the Old Testament without context and interpreting them in the most literal, legalistic, and binding ways possible will get you nowhere when debating lived Christian theology. (I'm assuming you're discussing this in light of Christianity given that you're using the term Bible and not Torah or Tanakh.)

No, I'm saying that the Bible is a tool that can be misused and should not be interpreted outside of its historical context and the original intentions of both its authors and compilers. If you try to look at it at face value, in a 21st century English translation of the text with no historical knowledge, it is the intellectual equivalent of trying to use a fly swatter as a tennis racket and then complaining about what an awful tennis racket it is.

I don't think it was ever the claim of the Early Church that the Bible was an uncreated object immune to any sort of fallacy, or that the Church could not be corrupted. In fact, warnings of such are all over Christian writings. The claim was that it proclaimed to us the Good News of Christ and that it gave us reason to love our neighbor and follow the golden rule. After Christianity became widespread in Europe, charities became widespread, the modern hospital system came into being. People claiming to be "Christian" but behaving sinfully is in line with Christian theology, the warnings of Church Fathers, and the predictions of Christ Himself.

Look at the slave Bible. It was used to "justify slavery" to slaves, sure, but it cut out anything in the Bible that could be considered liberationist. That was most of the Bible, in the end.

Yeah yeah I'm very familiar with the way Christians always rationalize their own corruption and abuse of power with the excuse of "Oh well none of us are perfect except for Jesus". Frankly I don't think that's a very good excuse. Also there's the big irony in evangelicals today complaining about being 'persecuted' simply because they're not allowed to FORCE their beliefs on everybody around them like they were in the old days.

I'm aware that exegesis can be used to support negative behavior. That's why Christianity has to operate within a specific value system (with an emphasis on ascetism, selflessness, and charity).

No doubt many Western Christian Europeans believed that they were doing the right thing, but their institution was at the time steeped in greed and love of money, which was what kickstarted the colonial era in the first place. (Love of money is, according to St. Paul, the root of all evil.)

From a social perspective, I wouldn't deny that these people fall under the tent of "Christian", but from a spiritual perspective, they were not behaving in line with universal Christian values (ascetism, charity, concern for the poor and oppressed, forgiveness and mercy). "Christianity" is the underlying notion that people must receive charity, that we must care for one another, and that we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us, which stands behind visible Christian institutions and practicing Christians, even as those institutions and Christians falter in sin. God and Christ give us inherent reason to be alive when the world itself will not.

I believe in Christianity because it has from its inception been open about human fallibility and sin, even within the Church, even within the Bible. Yet it still calls us to put our best foot forward and engage with the world, regardless of what we see happening around us. Reading the Quran or Torah, you wonder why God isn't as imminent in the world now as He was in early Jewish and Muslim history. Traditionally (in my understanding) Quran and Torah were seen as the literal Word of God, either written by God Himself and come to man, or dictated word for word to Moses. In Early Christianity there was not a position on scriptural inerrancy. During the Reformation in the West, belief in scriptural inerrancy became much more common. In the East, no particular institution (the Church at any given period), person (a Patriarch or bishop) or thing (the Bible) is totally free of error. God has been an ambiguous presence from the inception of our faith. This is consistent with my perception of religious and social institutions as a whole.

I also believe in doing good to one another and the inherent value in life. This is consistent with Christianity, but inconsistent with secularism. (For the most part, secularists do believe in morality and the inherent meaning of life, but there is no objective measure with which they can demonstrate this to me. Nietzsche and Michel Onfray have criticized secular humanists for relying on Christian values while arguing for atheism. Nietzsche himself went crazy when he tried to stop a horse from being abused, and Onfray's moral hedonism is useless to people that face true and consistent suffering.)

Religion is necessary for us to have a coherent system that emphasizes a strong moral code. Christianity is a tradition that does so and has been open about its fallibility since its inception. Therefore, I'm a Christian.

(PS: Another way of putting it is that I have values which I believe in and see those values reflected in the Christian Church and teachings that I have come to know. That is where I find God and my faith. My "Christianity", as you may see it. The Christianity that I specifically practice is open about its fallibility and potential to be corrupted. When I see Christians behaving in a corrupt or cruel way, this is consistent with what I have been taught, believe, and see not just with Christianity but with all religion and ideology.

I understand these people to be practicing "Christianity" and I do think their "Christianity" is distinct from my "Christianity", because broad "religions" are frequently big tents with much internal diversity. Again, my specific Christian faith teaches that this is to be expected, so I carry on. I don't deny that from a social standpoint I can't prove them to not be "Christian" (I can't patent the name) but I do know that they practice something that is not my faith. And it is a part of my faith's theology that these people will exist, and we'll be grouped under the same name.)

Yes; Religion is What Binds And Bonds;
In Other Words; the Altruistic Love Normal
Healthy Human Beings Do Living In Balance
With The Rest of Nature; Same as Our More
Superior Loving Cousins; Bonobos Who
Need NO
WORDS
OF RELIGION
TO LIVE
A RELIGION
OF LOVE that is
Free as a stone skipping
The Waves of Human Ponds (Written Words)

In case one is wondering what
the Problem is: Written Words.

Love is Not A Word;
God is Not A Word;
Are any Questions
Necessary; No Not
If You live This God BReaTHE
This Love As Real Now To Give
And Share for Free to Others Doing
the Least Harm to All Concerned (God)
If A Bonobo Will Do It; Perhaps We Will Shed our
CuLTuRaL Clothes and Do It Again too one day soon...
and sooner... Look at the World around You More than
Human Clothes (Words); 'Onward Christian Soldiers' Still
Now With the Work Ethic of Taking More than they Give;
Is Responsible For More Dark than Light (Love) Will Ever Speak or Do When Real.