"Ageism" is nonsense

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And of course predators will use "Emotional immaturity" to justify it or claim they identify at a younger age.

^^^



It's True, Reciprocal Social Communication
Skills Are Part and Parcel of Emotional Intelligence;
Lacking those Skills, Makes Folks On the Autism Spectrum
A Challenge Of Life in Success Across the Life Span; Some Folks Finally Accommodate it; Others do not...

However, When It Comes to Emotional Intelligence, in Matters of Emotional Regulation and Sensory
Integration, Both; This Issue is surely Not Limited to Folks on the Autism Spectrum; And even When
It Comes to Ethics Greater Than Might Makes Right; Or Just Following What Group Think Says is Right...

Donald J Trump, The Man Who Publicly Admitted He Would Shoot Someone on 5th Avenue And His
'Minion' Supporters Would Still Support Him Before He was even Elected As Prophecy Still Fulfilling now...

The Same Old Dude

Close to my Age

Now When

He was that Age

Close to 60 Bragged

That Power Gave Him the

Right to Grab Women's Private

Parts With 'Senior' Advantage then...

And Now He Believes He Has the Right

To Steal an Election And Destroy Democracy

And the Prophecy is Still Being Fulfilled on 5th

Avenue By 71 MiLLioN Minions in Part Who Are Still

Enabling His Behavior Now; Also Willing To Go into the Wild

oF A Pandemic Unmasked With No Social Distance Still Modeling

Their 'Dear Leader' On 5th Avenue Falling, Falling, Down Literally Falling Down to Death Now...

So What's the Problem; A Lack of Emotional Intelligence is Surely Just Not an issue with the Autism Spectrum,
In all The Ways Emotional Intelligence Comes From Emotional Regulation through Sensory Integration
through Cognitive Empathy, Sympathy And Compassion True; A Country Built on the Backbone

Of Capitalism

is lacking

A Most Valuable

Part of Human Intelligence;

A Soul Seeing that Sees More than

Skin Deep as that goes with only

Material And Sexual Gratification Pleasures

With Only Ambitions to Own, Gain Power, and Dominate

So far away from Cooperation and Love; Welcome to the Western World of Stuff,

of Stuff,

And Owner

Ship of More stuff;

It's Truly Nonsense

To those of Us who Breathe

Soul as A Staple of Deeper Life than this...

Yes, Sex is a Part of Life; About 2 Percent of my 'Works Week';

The Other 98 Percent is Much Deeper in Terms of Soul And Human Potential More...

We LiVE iN A Shallow

World; What People

'Should' Do

As Naked

Evolved

Humans

They

Do Not Even

Have a Clue;

God Bless the Beasts

And the Children; it's a Tough Knock Life indeed From the Poison of Human CuLTuRES

And i surely Fell Down More than once until i Beat this Evil way of Being...

Truly Evil

And

Trump

is Just a
Microcosm
of the Whole Damned 'Thing'...

A Life of
'Swipe
Left and Right'

For Nothing, Nothing at all of Real Value Within...

Nah; ThiS ain't Limited to the Autism Spectrum

At All; Yet when a Canary in A Coal Mine Escapes They

Do Not Return to the

'Mine' Ever again...

i LiVE iN
Myland
The Only

Truly Fully

Free Place
i've 'Seen' in 'This Entire Mine'...

Same place the Squirrels and
Birds LiVE oN A Naked Wing
And Fur Free in my Back FoRest Yard...

This Green Nature

Don't Give

A CR8P About Human iGNoRaNCE;
Lies And Organized Deceit; And all
That Comes with 'Money Trump Orange Green'...

i BelieVE iN Nature Without Owning Stuff And Other Humans...
Loving the Rest of Nature Is all i Really Need to feel to Do as

When We Do We aRe ALL...

So Much

Different
Than 'Having it all'...

Only What Age Enough
To Escape This Rotten Way of CuLTuRES Teaches Best; Yes This 'Seeing Wisdom'
'The Child' of Nature, Still Innocent in Cooperation of Love, Born First or Again..

Now...

And of
Course Love Is
Always Tough
Too As THorns Make
Blood With FLoWeRS of Love Roses
RiSinG STiLL SMiLinG NoW For Human Real DarK Thru LiGHT

Yet You See, When i Couldn't Speak Until 4, i found a way to Do it..
Yet You See, When i Was Assessed as too Weak to Exist i eventually
Became the Strongest Man in Every Room i Enter, Even At 60 in Many
More Ways than one; Yet

You See When

Every One Said i was
Not Even Worth Existing;
Not Even on a Frigging 'Wrong Planet'

I still Exist...

Yet You See,

When All the

Love Left Reborn

Comes Love Again i am...

That's All i need to do..

So i just Do it...

It's a Tough Knock Life;

It's Not Fair; Some Fall And Some Rise Again...

Yet You See? It's Not Always Easy, Yet i Never

Give Up; For i Believe This Breath Is Gift Forevernow Dark Thru LiGHT Still to Do...

It's True, i never Wanna Go to Any Other TiMe Yet Now, Yet Now, This Gift, This Breath

ThiS Way

Ya really

Never Die As Long As Ya Breathe...

This Fantasy; This Love; This Breath IS REAL NoW

i Will Alway Laugh in the Face of Death as i've Already

LivEviL DEviLiVeD Dead Barely Breathing Soul ALiVE AT ALL...

Best
LeSSoN
oF ALL to Truly
ReAlly BREaTHE NoW...
Trust YouR Self; Love YouR
Soul That's Enough NoW Just BREaTHE ALL Free...

Do Give Share

Free...

Love...

For All With

Least Harm

Enough For

-me to Do Now WiTH SMiLes..

Agreed.

BTW, it really pisses me off when I young person stereotypes me.



Agreed.
Self-evident.
How can anyone seriously argue against this?



Consider:
With experience generally brings greater wisdom.
I am sure you will be more enlightened in 20 years time.
Well, I damn well hope so!

I think that the young are less wise but more flexible and the old more wise but stuck in their ways.

For dating it's usually best to go with your age group but not always. As mentioned above I think if you're a fool and older then there is no hope. If you're young and a fool at least there is plenty of time for change.

As for dating. I would much prefer a slim 21 year old university student over an overweight religious nutjob who's 35. Sticking to the same aged peers are best but that certainly depends on what your similarly aged peers are like compared to other groups.

Everyone would prefer to date younger partners. (At least people attracted to women, apparently a lot of ppl like 'silver fox' men)

Doesn't mean it's always appropriate.

Just means 21 yos are at their prime physically.

I think with some autistic people it's better fit when it comes to dating NTs.

I had an ex who was 'autistic' apparently...

He wasn't. I know once you meet one aspie etc etc etc but he was more manipulative than any NT I ever met.

And you couldn't google him. He knew I knew nothing about pop culture & gave me a fake name to look up, an actor's name. Not even from his culture.

Never met his family & he never met mine, by design, when he finally met mine they told me that he was not worth my time, that he was manipulative etc. Split me off from my friends etc.

Only a 5 year gap. I kind of think I shouldn't have been dating at that age, yes, I was 21 but I was as naive as a 15/16 yo.

He only claimed to be autistic when I told him I was autistic myself.

I avoid trouble now by keeping this stuff as a purely academic debate in ethics, not dating anyone. Although tbh I am at the stage in life most 25 yos I know are at - moving into first home alone - so I would be dating an adult with a fully developed brain if I dated based on stage.

I think a lot depends on their intelligence. A smart person both male or female can make correct desicions whatever they might be at 21. Age is loosely related to wisdom but I think cognitive ability is a much bigger contributer of wisdom and vunerability (or lack of)

I think a man regardless of age will struggle to take advantage of a smart woman in her early 20s. A not so smart woman in her 40s or 50s is probably completely different.

I think age also has a magnifying factor too. If you go off the tracks at a young age and still make no effort to get back on them at 40 then someone is a lost cause and can't turn back. Someone much younger taking a wrong turn in life isnt in as much trouble. Good ethics and manners doesn't mature in quite the same way though. If you're good you"ll age like a fine whisky. If you're bad and obnoxious you"ll age like a petri dish in a skunks ass. It matters a lot in dating I think and an large age gap isn't that bad provided the younger of the two is intelligent.

I think academic intelligence matters less than street smarts when it comes to forms of socialising up to and including dating.

Plenty of autistic savant types out there would be better off not dating anyone. Too naive in matters of the human heart.

But yeah it does depend a lot on the individual & their smarts when it comes to dating.

I used to think that 18-20 was the age when people stopped maturing. But there's a lot of research coming out that 25 is when the human brain stops developing!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24173194

I think the stage you're in in life matters most. Once someone is over 15 (16+) anyway - a kid who runs away from home, lies about their age and finds work/a flat still shouldn't be treated as an adult. But the stage tends to correalate to the age - at least as far as non-disabled NTs are concerned.

Agreed.
Someone or some group literally makes up these rulz.
Why should I respect them?
I live by my own standards.

But I bet you are more enlightened than when you were a foetus in your mother's tummy.
Well, I hope so.

I *collect* Airfix/plastic-model kits.
Who is going to tell me that I can't



A lot of people are slaves to social expectations.



Agreed.
Why should we conform to social protocols that is essentially toxic to us?


Or he is George Clooney.



Yes.
You can find a partner who is age appropriate, but that doesn't necessarily mean he/she isn't a sociopathic/psychopathic narcissist.
I hear more problems with that than "creepy old men".



It happened to me, but I did turn her down.
She wasn't my type. [joke]



Why do you care what people think?
It is your personal life.
You are not there to service other people's expectations.

If you don't want to date George Clooney, don't. There are many others who would, including myself.
That reminds me, I have to shave my legs. [joke]



You have made that perfectly clear.

You do realise that a big part of being attractive has to do with the reproduction process?
And young people in their prime are usually the best to do this.

One other thing.
One day you will be "old" and you will meet youngsters treating *you* like an old person too.
When that happens, I hope you remember my words.

I can probably jump over that low hurdle .

Social skills, street smarts and intellectual abilities all complement each other well. I think having one highly developeded of the three compensates against poorer skills in another when it comes to being taken advantage of. The age at which these develop varies considerably I think. Some people never fully develop one or even all of the three while others are social butterflies studying for a PhD at 22.

Broadly speaking age is sort of relevant but there is a huge variation person to person.

I have a lot more confidence in a 21 year old university student avoiding exploitation while dating a 50 year old than I do in a 50 year old with very poor intellect and social skills dating his/her similar aged peers.

Last edited by Nades on 06 Jan 2021, 8:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm already old enough that there's 21 yo autistic girls out there who I don't touch due to age gap but who are hot.

It's a matter of maturity & not letting your hormones dictate you.

Again - if someone is pushy and beyond your social competencies, it is hard to say no. Especially if they have power over you.

I seriously wonder how much certain cis guys don't get this versus how much they just pretend not to get it. Forget Vera, what about if it was an older guy being pushy towards you? Or an ugly but powerful guy your own age? It's not a comfortable position to be put in, especially when you're physically weaker than him.

Not always as easy as no means no. We need to get into a mindset of yes means yes and anything else means don't go there.

Also apart from 'aren't as physically attractive' and 'shouldn't date youngsters', my 'ageism' is pretty much pro old people at the expense of the young.

I believe:
The older you are, the wiser you are compared to similarly educated peers of a younger age
The older you are, the smarter you are compared to similar peers of a younger age
The older you are, the more your family should respect you
The more old or young (extremes) you are, the more your family should look after you - even if you weren't/won't be disabled in the middle of your life

So as an older, wiser person than I am now, I doubt I will regret that I thought I was going to end up old and wise. Every day is a learning opportunity, unless you have a degenerative learning disorder. In fact, that's one reason why such disorders are so sad.

I might regret setting up such expectations for the middle aged, but I love my mum to the extent that I doubt it. I'm moving out now & planning on moving back in with her when I'm in my 50s or 60s, to help with her needs at the time. That's the flip side of adults looking after children, adult children look after elders.

Last edited by KT67 on 06 Jan 2021, 8:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

They balance out well in NTs, less so in autistic people on average.

And our academic knowledge tends to be more highly specific as well.

The idea of 'stupid people' versus 'smart people' generally correalates to NTs.

My wife was 10 days off being 22 years older than me. She was a few months older than my mother. I had the book smarts. She had the street smarts. Until she developed vascular dementia she was the dominant one. We were together 22.5 years. It didn't end due to separation or divorce , but because she died from physical complications.

Quite a lot of people disapproved in a way that wouldn't have happened if the ages had been reversed.