Should I convert back to Islam?

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What is your home country may I ask?

I was born in the US, but I grew up in Libya and most of my family is Libyan. I am a legal Libyan citizen, but it is the culture I was brought up in. So it depends on which of those defines what my home country is.

I agree with what a lot of you are saying. I don't want to live a lie. I just wish I never told my family, and just let them continue to assume I'm Muslim. If I never drew attention to the matter, they never would've questioned it. And I wouldn't have any problem being open about it away from them. And it isn't like I go around telling everyone I'm an atheist anyway. Even in the US that could cause problems. I thought about moving to country closer to North Africa where it would be easy to visit, but still not get caught up in all the religious driven politics of a Muslim country.

TBH, I think in general if the term is "reconverting" the answer ought to be just no unless there's a real reason to do it. It's one thing to drift away from ones religious beliefs as a kid, but quite another to affirmatively leave the religion.

Probably not safe posting your intentions on forums while you are living in Libya. When I lived in Malaysia (a relatively moderate muslim country) even there the religious police operated with Malaysian Intelligence like the KGB or CIA and monitored internet forums and emails looking for religious dissidents and anti-islamic behaviour.

I currently reside in the US. But I'm tired of being lonely. I never get to see anyone from my family. And dating, marriage, or children are not an option because of my autism. So what other choice do I have?

I doubt that I would ever convert, but if I did, it would probably be to become a Quaker.

Wait, are you lonely because of autism or because of islam?

Why do you think that? Autism doesn't mean you can't date, get married or have kids. But also marriage and children are just options it's not required. That said Autistic people can for sure have relationships, marriage and some do have kids...I don't want kids, but some autistic women do.

But also, outside of that there are like hobbies and making friends and idk just enjoying yourself from time to time. Idk maybe see if there are any local like social activities where you could find friends perhaps. Some people sort of make their own family of friends if they don't have a lot of family to spend time with.

Yes.



I'm over 40, and the only girlfriend I ever had was an abusive narcissist who gaslighted, socially isolated me, and groomed me. Then when she decided she was done with me she called a bum and a lower and spread a bunch of lies about. That was over 16 years ago, and no other woman has ever wanted to be with me before or sense then. That is how I know.

And yes, it is not a requirement. But it's something I want for myself. And with no family of any kind, I am frequently alone. I also am extremely vulnerable as I have no safety net if an emergency occurs.

What kinds of efforts, if any, have you made to meet women who might conceivably be interested? Also, kinds of efforts, if any, have you made to find potential friends more generally?


That's a serious problem many autistic people face.

Have you ever tried to build up a network of autistic (or otherwise neurodivergent) friends, and thus build an alternative extended family of people in a similar situation who could help each other in emergencies?

Have you ever attended any support groups or social groups for autistic adults? I would suggest that you look for such groups in your local area, e.g. on Meetup.com or EventBrite.

Via Google, I found the following, which meets in Oklahoma City, Tulsa, and Norman: Mix and Mingle, organized by a group called Autism Oklahoma. It would probably be a good idea to contact that organization by phone to make sure these groups still exist and that the info is up-to-date.

Hopefully there are other groups for autistic adults in Oklahoma too.

I think nobody is addressing the OP's central question about his islam. He sees his identity as a muslim perhaps not helping with dating.

to the OP, I assume you want to broaden your dating pool beyond muslim women? I assume most muslim girls aren't allowed to date or participate in "American lifestyles" but that at the same time your family haven't organised a wife for you?

Perhaps open up about this?

I don't think the OP mentioned dating or marriage as a major concern. That being said, becoming active in the Muslim community would probably be beneficial both for getting married and raising kids.

Maybe, but that's a terrible reason to convert back and even if that happens, likely everybody would be unhappy with it

I've met women over the years, mostly through work. I also met many women when I was in school. But as I've gotten older, it has gotten increasingly harder to find anyone who's single. I used to go to a weekly board game group, but it died because of Covid. Some of us attempted to revive it after the quarantine ended, but barely anybody showed. I briefly joined an Autism group in 2017, but I left because I wasn't getting along with several people. A few years ago I was in a DND group, but it also died out. And I'm a member of the Clubhouse organization, but I never go because it conflicts with my work. Needless to say, I did not meet any single women through any of those avenues.

I tried dating apps on and off for a number of years, but those are a fraggin' joke.

A neurodiverse former co-worker invited me to an autism event. But we both forgot to go.

I'm not interested in Muslima women. They would require me to commit immediately to marriage before I can even start talking to them, and they wouldn't marry someone like me anyway. I'm sure my family could arrange a marriage for me with someone I know nothing about if I wanted and was willing to meet the criteria, but no thank you.

To be clear: I'm not interested in Islam in and of itself. I could never convince myself to believe something irrational. I just think it might make my life easier if I can convince my family that I'm Muslim. And that will be challenging because I've already made the mistake of telling them about my apostacy.

You are expressing familiar experiences that it took me 20 pages of posting on another thread saying exactly the same thing but I got cancelled.
1. You mostly meet women through work, but there's always a conflict of interest and the single women never want to date a co-worker.
2. As you get older the number of single compatible women dries up.
3. You join clubs but for some reason there are never single women
4. Dating apps suck

Welcome to the club.

We live in a strange time where 1 in 3 men find themselves marooned on a metaphorical desert island and they have no idea how they ended up there. But my point is these are common experiences, you aren't the only one experiencing them. I can't offer any solutions to finding anyone in the US because I basically gave up back in the 1990s and went overseas to Asia and found my wife.

Good luck brother, I give you credit in that at least you understand your situation. Just don't panic and do anything drastic. Just keep looking, network as much as possible and make new friends, somebody will know somebody else so it opens up opportunities.

The math doesn't seem to add up. How are so many men unable to find single women? Shouldn't there theoretically be at minimum an exact number of women who are single? There's no evidence I'm aware of that suggests there are more lesbians than gay men. Unless anyone knows something I don't.

I've been wanting to escape this country for at least a decade. But I'm stuck because I have no financial resources.