I've decided to be a pundit
Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ]
06 Oct 2005, 8:50 pm
I find myself getting mad at Sean Hannity a lot on FOX news. I always wondered how someone can be so Brash, Biggoted, and Self Righteous in their political views. I figured I could try it myself and here are the results.
DISCLAIMER: What follows is purely fictional and is not to be taken seriously by anyone!
Quote:
ladies and gentlemen, I've never done this before in one of my colums... but I'd like to delve for all of you new listeners out there, my steps for cleaning up this country.
See ladies and gentlemen, liberalism has corrupted this country to unknown levels. Our founding fathers are turning over in the graves right now knowing what the democrats have done to this great country of ours.
Here's what we need to do to set things straight.
First of all, and most importantly, lets get rid of corporate regulation. Progressives ruined the forward progress that capitalistism made during the last decades of the 19th century by forcing upon our hard working industries, anti-trust laws, tarrifs, and regulatory actions that stifled competition that led to many of our early and most inovative business going under.
And let's not forget about FDR's new deal during the great depression, (which incidentally was caused by the income tax amendment of 1916 which put even more stress on the american worker who had to turn to credit in the 1920's) where unions got the right to strike, which allowed them for the first time, to bargin for things that they did not deserve.
The Unions need to be dismantled ladies and gentlemen, they unfairly take away what is rightly earned by the buisness man, and gives it to those who don't deserve. The truth is ladies and gentlemen, the only person who has the right to decide what an employee can earn is his employer, not the other way around.
NAFTA needs to be expanded even more. Free trade is the best thing that has ever happened to this country. Our GDP and job creation has gone through the roof since NAFTA was first signed into law
Second, we need to eliminate anything that's prefixed with the word "public".
Public education = Liberal indoctrination by teachers who spew forth the crap there told to teach by their union bosses. We need to privitize and capitalize public education and make it accountable for it's results.
Public assistance = a system to reward enslave the poor who decided to be lazy in life and not pull their own weight. Let's make the poor and homeless sink or swim on account of their own accord. And for those who cannot survive in society on their own through no fault of their own, well they should taken off the streets and locked up and given the help they need.
Public Broadcasting = A delivery system for Bill Moyers to use to deliver his hate america/blame america vile. All broadcasting should be privitized and for-profit, that way the american consumer can decide what's good for him or her, not some whiny liberal like Bill Moyers.
We need to repeal environmental laws. We could not possible destroy the environment even if we tried. If people want to buy hummers then we should do nothing to stop them for it and private industry should be allowed to drill for oil in ANWR to fuel those vehicles. Despite what any liberal might tell you, the oil companies, the ones who oughta know, and the ones who do know the truth about ANWR, can tell you that there's more oil up their right now than in all of the middle east, oil that was put their by our creator, and oil that's just waiting for us to go get. Environmental restrictions are just another tactic by the liberals to take away from people who have earned it.
Third, we need to make religion a part of daily life again. There is a god and the day will come when he will judge all of us. Liberal indoctrination has put the false belief in the heads of kids that god dosen't exist and that religion is nothing more than an answer for something science has yet to answer. Becasue people have abandoned religion and the moral values it teaches, the same moral values on which the country was founded, we've seen the breakup of the nuclear family. We now have teen parents, teens who have no respect for authority, and teen drug addicts becasue they don't heed a higher calling. Parents today need to be taught that using the belt on their kids and making them spend an hour each sunday learing about our creator are good things for them and that they will be better off for it. But instead, thanks to liberals, were throwing parents in jail for daring to control their kids and the pledge of allegence is on the verge of being banned in the western states becasue of one taboo word in the mind of liberals.
Kids also need to learn respect and have pride for this country. The USA is the greatest country in the world. We bring more good and do more good than all other countries combined. We the only contry trying to bring democracy to the middle east, but the liberals have put the notion in the heads of americans that we there for nothing more than oil. What a bunch of B.S. these liberals who destroy the nationalist spirit in our country during these troubled times need to be put on trial for treason.
Liberals are out to destroy this country, and I'll be dammed if that ever happens
See ladies and gentlemen, liberalism has corrupted this country to unknown levels. Our founding fathers are turning over in the graves right now knowing what the democrats have done to this great country of ours.
Here's what we need to do to set things straight.
First of all, and most importantly, lets get rid of corporate regulation. Progressives ruined the forward progress that capitalistism made during the last decades of the 19th century by forcing upon our hard working industries, anti-trust laws, tarrifs, and regulatory actions that stifled competition that led to many of our early and most inovative business going under.
And let's not forget about FDR's new deal during the great depression, (which incidentally was caused by the income tax amendment of 1916 which put even more stress on the american worker who had to turn to credit in the 1920's) where unions got the right to strike, which allowed them for the first time, to bargin for things that they did not deserve.
The Unions need to be dismantled ladies and gentlemen, they unfairly take away what is rightly earned by the buisness man, and gives it to those who don't deserve. The truth is ladies and gentlemen, the only person who has the right to decide what an employee can earn is his employer, not the other way around.
NAFTA needs to be expanded even more. Free trade is the best thing that has ever happened to this country. Our GDP and job creation has gone through the roof since NAFTA was first signed into law
Second, we need to eliminate anything that's prefixed with the word "public".
Public education = Liberal indoctrination by teachers who spew forth the crap there told to teach by their union bosses. We need to privitize and capitalize public education and make it accountable for it's results.
Public assistance = a system to reward enslave the poor who decided to be lazy in life and not pull their own weight. Let's make the poor and homeless sink or swim on account of their own accord. And for those who cannot survive in society on their own through no fault of their own, well they should taken off the streets and locked up and given the help they need.
Public Broadcasting = A delivery system for Bill Moyers to use to deliver his hate america/blame america vile. All broadcasting should be privitized and for-profit, that way the american consumer can decide what's good for him or her, not some whiny liberal like Bill Moyers.
We need to repeal environmental laws. We could not possible destroy the environment even if we tried. If people want to buy hummers then we should do nothing to stop them for it and private industry should be allowed to drill for oil in ANWR to fuel those vehicles. Despite what any liberal might tell you, the oil companies, the ones who oughta know, and the ones who do know the truth about ANWR, can tell you that there's more oil up their right now than in all of the middle east, oil that was put their by our creator, and oil that's just waiting for us to go get. Environmental restrictions are just another tactic by the liberals to take away from people who have earned it.
Third, we need to make religion a part of daily life again. There is a god and the day will come when he will judge all of us. Liberal indoctrination has put the false belief in the heads of kids that god dosen't exist and that religion is nothing more than an answer for something science has yet to answer. Becasue people have abandoned religion and the moral values it teaches, the same moral values on which the country was founded, we've seen the breakup of the nuclear family. We now have teen parents, teens who have no respect for authority, and teen drug addicts becasue they don't heed a higher calling. Parents today need to be taught that using the belt on their kids and making them spend an hour each sunday learing about our creator are good things for them and that they will be better off for it. But instead, thanks to liberals, were throwing parents in jail for daring to control their kids and the pledge of allegence is on the verge of being banned in the western states becasue of one taboo word in the mind of liberals.
Kids also need to learn respect and have pride for this country. The USA is the greatest country in the world. We bring more good and do more good than all other countries combined. We the only contry trying to bring democracy to the middle east, but the liberals have put the notion in the heads of americans that we there for nothing more than oil. What a bunch of B.S. these liberals who destroy the nationalist spirit in our country during these troubled times need to be put on trial for treason.
Liberals are out to destroy this country, and I'll be dammed if that ever happens
_________________
I live my life to prove wrong those who said I couldn't make it in life...
