For Christians- Christianity and Romantic Loneliness?

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Joined: 29 May 2008
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21 Sep 2009, 8:26 pm

I've not frequented this forum very often, but I've been here once or twice. I'm more of a regular at the "Love and Dating" forum. It is because of my involvement in the "Love and Dating" forum that I ask this question.

I notice that on the Love and Dating forum, there are a lot of disillusioned and chronically disappointed guys, like myself, when it comes to the issue of romantic love. They (and I include myself in "they") often wonder why women ignore them and date other guys instead. They often feel lonely, helpless, and embittered towards the opposite sex, mainly because they have been rejected multiple times and think the opposite sex does not care for them and shows contempt for them.

Now, I know this next statement will sound contradictory to what I've said- I'm a Christian. The Bible talks about getting rid of all " bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (Ephesians). I know this, and although embittered, I'm only human and I don't like being angry because of being romantically alone.

However, if one looks at the Bible, God states, either through Himself or an apostle, that man was never meant to be alone romantically:

Genesis 2:18 (God says this in relation to Adam) "The Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him."

1st Corinthians 7:8-9 (Paul speaking) "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Now, loneliness usually causes one to have lustful feelings and thoughts, because they are not having their Love and Self Esteems needs meet, which usually causes lonely people to sin, and God hates sin:

Matthew 5:27 (Jesus speaking) "You have heard that it is said, "Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already sinned with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown in Hell."

1st Corinthians 6:18-20 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside him body, but he who sins sexually against his own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Thessalonians 4:3-6

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is honorable and holy, and not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;"

So God makes abundantly clear that sexually immorality is wrong. However my question goes back to 1st Corinthians 7:8-9 (stated above). Why is it that the romantically lonely, who are the one who burn most with passion/lust and need to be fulfilled romantically, are the ones who usually never get filled, and have to live being alone? If God says that it is not good for man to be alone, why do you think that those who probably need to be comforted romantically the most are the ones who never get it, while people who don't need to be comforted romantically are the ones who tend to get it the most?

Doesn't lust lead to sin? Yes it does! I know this as much as anyone, and even guys (and sometimes girls) who are Christians can become enslaved to lustful thoughts and feelings, pornography, and masturbation, which does not bring glory and honor to God. I don't defend these things, I think they are immoral (even though I have taken part in these things in the past and the present), but if one is alone and full of lust, sexual sin is almost inevitable. If you aren't getting your romantic needs met, you WILL find other means to achieve them, whether culturally accepted or not. My personal opinion is this, if certain men or women were destined by God to be alone (as I reluctantly think of myself being), then it would have been better to have never felt lustful feelings or love. Why is it that those who have trouble finding love are often the ones who succumb to sexual sins so readily?

So if man was never meant to be romantically alone, why do you think a lot of guys are romantically alone from a religious perspective?


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Joined: 15 Sep 2007
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21 Sep 2009, 8:52 pm

Perhaps you should not try to look at the world through Biblical sources and seek elsewhere. I not trying to attack your faith, merely indicating there are other ways to approach a problem.


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Joined: 31 Aug 2007
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22 Sep 2009, 8:08 pm

Iam totally with you on this one AM, bad enough being an Aspie, but in todays world, you are really a freak if you read the Bible and belive in God.

Heres what Iam hoping.
We are shown in the Bible all the things that are sinfull and make us unworthy, hense, we will be even more appriatiative of Jesus and God when they grant life toi such unworthy sinners as us, indeed, being self-righteous is condemned.

Jesus is the good doctor that will cure us sinners of the sins that we cannot cure ouyrselves of, hense once again, we reliase that all salvation is through Gods Love and mercy, indeed the lesson of the Mosiac Law was that Man is not able to bring about his own salvation, even when the method was spelled out in the law.

God knows all, would you reject God if you where in his position and he in yours?, I would feel proud of God still trying to be my friend even though he feels unworthy, maybe God feels the same about us?

God doesnt run the world at present, the Devil does, hes going to make it even harder for Christians, part of which is the modern upside down world where the sinners get all the girls and they are less interested in somebody that wants to Love them in the way God intended.
When Gods Kingdom comes, "he will fullfill the desires of every living creature", the Bible also says how for every house, mother etc etc you have lost through following the Kingdom, you will be rewarded 10 fold, now as God does not lie, just a few more years untill Gods kingdom gets here, and God will find you a wife who is 10 times more your hearts desire than any you could hope to get in this wicked system of things.

Be patient, ask forgiveness, and wait to see how God will shower blessings on all those who remain failthfull to him against even thier own adversaries, more so in this increasingly unGodly world where such as yourself our viewed by God as rare and desireable Jewells.