Door-to-Door Smut Peddlers

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Today I had a couple of young men come to my door wanting to discuss scripture with me. Usually I tell such folks to go f**k themsleves. Today I simply said, "That would not be a good idea" and closed the door as they tried to start in on their sales pitch. I had noticed them earlier in my driveway reading my bumper stickers, which make it clear I have no interest in hearing such idiotic psychobabble. Plus, my neighborhood has a legally binding no solicitation policy. Next time maybe I'll have the police arrest them.

Show up at the door butt naked

Just tell them to not make a show of their faith before men as ordered by Jesus in Matthew 6:1-18...

PS: are they mormons or JW's?

Something I've always wanted to do when we get solicitors in out neighborhood, since my front door has an decorative crystal window that you can only partially see through, walk up to the door, rack the slide on my pistol so that it's clearly visible, then open the door. Add Chever's idea of nudity to make it even more hilarious.

I don't mind Mormons, I can't stand those JW's, I find them to be about the rudest missionary's, that have tried to peddle their crap on Christmas day at my home.

I answer the door with my 1st Edition AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide - the one with the red-skinned giant efreet holding a scimitar in one hand and a scantily-clad female victim in the other. Then I smile and say, "No thank you" and close the door.

Maniacal laughter is optional...

Unfortunately they're building a new JW church right next to the neighborhood I live in, despite the universal protest of it from all of the residents. I really hope they'll at least be polite enough to not constantly berate us.

Most likely JW, since they do more door-to-door stuff than the Mormons.

Now how would people react if I (a mainstream Presbyterian who subscribes to a liberal biblical interpretation) started going door-to-door trying to convert people to my beliefs? Why is it only the fringe lunatics who do this type of proselytizing?

Excellent, I didn't think I'd find this again (warning: it's a bit inappropriate)

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp04052003.shtml

DNForrest,

That last line...

... is freekin P E R F E C T !

I'm gonna use it next time, but I think that I'll keep my clothes on.

Or at least with your hand floating around inside a robe.

i don't think that will work. missionaries are not covered by solicitation, because they don't actually sell anything. (not in a money sense.) so they do not see "no solicting" signs as applying to them. in my experience, they will respect a "no missionaries" or a "no proselytizing" sign. i'd try that if you find them so annoying.

Usually I just tell them I have my own faith and I'm very happy with it, but the last time I said they could send the Williams Sisters over, I'd be happy to talk to them anytime, especially Serena. Haven't seen 'em since.

Probably because only fringe lunatics have the arrogant sense of certainty to spread their religion like it was a product.

What do you do to get visited by JWs and Mormons so often? I'd love to meet one of them with a well enough understanding of German (alternatively English) to really discuss the things. I think if nothing else it would broaden my horizon.

Live in certain parts of the US I think. I very seldom get them here in Seattle, but saw them fairly often when I lived in Denver, which is much closer to Utah, the source of Mormons. I don't know about the Mormons so much, but I dated a girl for six years who's family were all witnesses, and it wasn't good. It was the grandmother that was hardcore into it, and her children and grandchildren were involved to various degrees. It was really sad how it tore the family apart, the ones who wanted no part of the religion were basically excommunicated by the rest of the family, and all of them had serious issues from being brought up within that faith. I'm no fan of religion in general, but I have a special kind of contempt for the JWs, not just from that experience with them, but several others.