Beto O'Rourke Drops Out Of 2020 Presidential Race

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https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/01/us/politics/beto-orourke-drops-out.html

AR-15 owners rejoice.

I believe I can hear the celebratory gunfire out the window right now.

He was never going to get the nomination, and he new it. He made grandiose proclamations that make for good social media posts while widening the rift between Americans. Firearms are a widely divisive issue, with both sides having the ability to find the fault in the other logic while ignoring their own.

It's concerning that middle of the road is no longer a mindset with politicians. They focus on an issue that gets the the most attention from the media, and act as if that is the same as actual votes.

Beto was a little too eaten up with the trendy and impermanent. Time to see what they might have said of him in the back pages of literary history. After all, he further divided Left and Right wings of the population and had a chip on his shoulder like the rock of Gibraltar.

Perhaps Hillaire Belloc is your style?

Beto, when you and I go down to Hell,
Where scriveners end and millionaires as well,
We shall be carrying on our separate backs
Two very large and very different packs,
And as you stagger under yours, my friend,
Down the dull shore where live no modern trends,
And that black river of forgetfulness--
--CHARON, a man of exquisite address,
(For, as all of your progenitors could tell,
They're very strict on etiquette in Hell)
Will, respecting of your state, exclaim--
"Leave this behind! no baggage can you claim!"
Then down they go, my wretched Beto, down--
The pre-made tailored quotes for smiling clowns,
A smirk to meet the Devil in, the plain
But costly "likes," the upvotes and the gains
of Karma on your one AskReddit page,
The online "gold" awards are showing age
Down here where your eternity begins.
I look with schadenfreude--is that a sin?
To see you thus, who were what we deserved,
Get nothing! for that's surely what you earned.
With Warren and with Buttigieg no more
You'll fight, for here you've lost not votes but war,
The Devil claims that this day you shall rue.
You sold your soul for likes--he wants his due.
Then Charon turned to me and saw I bring
With careless tread some timeworn shadowy things,
Old songs, new books, a lost love, no regrets,
Some honor--and a quantity of debts,
A simple but long-lasting trust in God,
And (what will seem to you extremely odd)
The quality which in your race you lacked,
That anyone, no matter whom they backed
In voting-booths, I liked them just because
They're human. I don't care about their "cause."
Charon, who a million times before
Has borne autistics to th' ulterior shore,
Will estimate the grudge I bear and cry,
"Comrade!" (he has himself been known to try
His hand at model railroads--scale H.O.)

"You don't belong down here, you ought to go!"
Laughing I run back up the mountain pass.
Now tell me, Beto, who will look the ass?
You? or myself? or Charon? Who can tell.
They order things so damnably in hell.

And the final word comes from the Babylon Bee:

El Paso Man Comes Down From Insane Acid Trip Where He Hallucinated That He Ran For President

EL PASO, TX—An El Paso man reportedly came down from a "totally crazy" acid trip where he hallucinated that he ran for president.

"People were calling me 'Beto' for some reason, the press was treating me like a serious candidate. It was totally wild," he told reporters. "Oh man, I thought I said a bunch of insane [EXPLETIVE] about dismantling the Constitution and stealing everybody's guns. And the left was just eating it up."

The man said he has a vague memory of hallucinating about how the press called him the next Obama and published glowing editorials about him. He also said a large part of the trip was just him saying the "F" word over and over again to appear hip and cool. "I'm glad that was just a bad trip and not something that really happened. That would have been totally embarrassing."

"Everyone, remember -- drugs are bad. Stay away from the hard stuff."

https://babylonbee.com/news/el-paso-man ... -president