This is my first post here, I wanted to get some opinions/experiences on college. I am a high school senior and will be going to college next year. My top two choices at the moment are Oberlin and American, but I won't hear back from either school until April. I've been dreading going to college for all of high school. I've never been officially diagnosed with Asperger's, which means I'm on my own next year if something goes wrong because I can't register with disability services. My mom doesn't think I have Asperger's(she thinks I'm just a hypochondriac) so I've never had any type of intervention. I have almost every characteristic of Asperger's which significantly distances me from my peers.
I haven't checked to see if freshman are allowed to live off-campus at either school because my mom is requiring me to live on campus for my first year, because she says I need the college experience. She said that she was quieter too, so I should be fine. However, there is a big, big difference between being quiet and being socially awkward. Both schools have substance free dorms which is what I would apply too. There are two big differences(to me) about the schools. One, Oberlin is half an hour away from me, and American is 8 hours away. So at American, if something goes wrong, I'm pretty much SOL. The other difference is that Oberlin has single dorms available. The idea of living with another person is hell to me. I have a single mother and I am an only child, so I am used to having constant privacy and control over my environment. At American, I can't get a single. Also, at American, I could be forced into a triple, and I don't know that I could cope with that. I really can't socialize with more than 1 person, when I'm with 2 people I'm always the one getting left out and forgotten about.
To me, living in a dorm is like a giant sleepover, something I loathe and have always tried to avoid. I've always opted out of situations that involve teenagers sleeping near each other without parental supervision. I've always been known as the one who is fun to prank and scare. I worry that I'll become known as the girl on the floor who is always crying for mommy or the party pooper. The part of my Asperger's that affects me the most is definitely my rigidity. I'm pretty okay with a change in routine, but I have a need to control everything about my home life/socialization. Basically, the advice I get from everyone is to grow up and deal with it, because all freshman have to move out and such. I'm not worried about academics, because I excel in school and look forward to taking interesting classes and having intellectual discussions.
I had somewhat of an experience of what dorm life could be this summer when I was an exchange student in Germany. Obviously, a lot of people drank, and my anxiety was through the roof. I was lonely and cried myself to sleep every night. The last week I was there, I was on a tour group with other American students and we stayed in various hotels. I had three roommates who were fantastic, and we're still in touch. However, the experience of living with other people and not having space to myself was extremely stressful and I was relieved to go home after that week. My roommates were quiet, but the other people on my hall weren't, and I couldn't tolerate hearing laughing and talking when I was trying to sleep. I became the girl who always complained about other people and it was awful.
I know a lot of people who have loved dorm life, but I do not know anyone with my personality who enjoyed it. I don't think I could be dreading next year anymore. All of my peers are excited to leave, but I'm going to be "that girl" on move-in day who is sobbing and clinging to mom. Everyone has said to me that move-in day isn't that bad and you start to hang out with people on your floor. That stresses me out so much. I feel like I'll never find my dorm to be home, that I'll always have this feeling of wanting to go back home. It's going to be really hard to accept that being away from home will be my life. Does anyone have any advice to offer or any positive experiences?
01 Feb 2013, 12:24 pm
