Hey, It has been over 3 months since i posted here. I think there is a problem that while i have really tried to talk to people about, its too damn complicated to explain with words outloud. THe problem is struggling with my self-identity. I have two really big interests i am interested in: Computers and Video Games(aka Nintendo 64) and the thing is, my self identity seems to think its one or the other. WIth computers, i feel most connected to myself, but after while it just reminds me of the past and all of those regrets and everything just come back up to the surface, and i feel more disconnected from the world. ANd with video games, its the opposite. Its happy, everythings great,i feel more in touch with everything around me,and i feel happy for once. THen i start supressing my racing thoughts of computers(like everything reminds me of it) but then depression sets in to the point of suicidal thoughts, and then racing thoughts just coming racing back to me, and it just really sucks. I want to know who i really am, but with those two choices, its either one or the other, and i do not know what to do anymore. I just want to know who i really am, and i just do not know what to do anymore. It is such a struggling, and one of my most agonizing demons that i have to deal with everyday. What do you guys think?
27 Nov 2014, 8:39 pm
