Then I suddenly cared about my personal appearance.

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MissPickwickian
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15 Aug 2008, 7:15 am

For years I did not groom. At all. And I mixed checks and plaids. Recently, though, I have learned how to choose and coordinate different clothing items and I have even taken minor delight in these activities. Yesterday in the mall I just started playing with the makeup samples when I would normally be whining at my mother about how much I hate the mall. I am contemplating putting a blue streak in my hair.

It's not extreme: I have no brand loyalties or price-based desires, and I never babble about these topics to others (in this I set an example that the girls at my school really need to learn from). My mother says that this is a sign of me improving as an aspie and becoming more confident as a person, but I'm worried that it just means I'm becoming vain.

Are there any comments on this?


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DollyJupiter
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15 Aug 2008, 8:47 am

I wouldn't worry about becoming vain. I think if you are concerned you that you may be vain then you're probably not. Generally, I think vanity is one of those slippery little beasties against which a healthy dose of self- awareness is good protection. Coordinate if you will. In fact, you are probably doing yourself a favor. People are extremely appearance conscious, and by paying attention to your looks you might just give yourself a leg up in those all important first impressions that can sometimes be the difference from someone thinking "hm, charming lass" and "oy. that person is sloppy and inconsiderate." Irrational as it may sometimes be, people (most especially of the NT variety) seem to think that the way another person dresses is a direct reflection on how much that person respects the other people with whom they come in contact. They may not consider that some styles of fabric or clothing are very uncomfortable for people with AS.

Ultimately, you have to go with what makes you feel good and what you think looks cool. If that's a blue streak in your hair, I say go for it.


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mouapp
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18 Aug 2008, 9:44 pm

MissPickwickian wrote:
For years I did not groom. At all. And I mixed checks and plaids. Recently, though, I have learned how to choose and coordinate different clothing items and I have even taken minor delight in these activities. Yesterday in the mall I just started playing with the makeup samples when I would normally be whining at my mother about how much I hate the mall. I am contemplating putting a blue streak in my hair.

It's not extreme: I have no brand loyalties or price-based desires, and I never babble about these topics to others (in this I set an example that the girls at my school really need to learn from). My mother says that this is a sign of me improving as an aspie and becoming more confident as a person, but I'm worried that it just means I'm becoming vain.

Are there any comments on this?

if you start spending two hours getting ready to go to school then you might have a problem but people tend to put a good bit of weight on how you look, so making a bit of an effort should make a bunch of social situations easier


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Nairin
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02 Sep 2008, 6:50 am

I used to not care about my looks, too. But then I started wearing all black. Then I got a chain belt. Then I got gauntlets. Eventually, I started shopping for stuff that would at least make me look slightly gothic. And now I care about my weight and stuff.

It's really kind of odd and cool. I'd have to say it's a good thing. 8D


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chrism
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02 Sep 2008, 6:55 am

i have the same problem nowadays lol but it doesnt worry me because it doesnt affect my life after i do my hair in the morning :)



monkees4va
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05 Sep 2008, 3:51 pm

I can totally relate to you. :) I think its the burst of teenage horomones that have given me the kick up the backside to actually start to do my hair, apply makeup etc... Only thing is most girls at my school have been practising since about 6 years ago and I've just begun, so I still get told I look a mess :lol:



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05 Sep 2008, 4:22 pm

I f***ing love having facial hair. I have an awesome beard. I like to dress to impress, and I'm not beyond wearing outrageous outfits that make me look AWESOME. You should see me dressed like a Naval Officer. :P


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PlanetLouise
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06 Sep 2008, 9:49 am

I used to wear jeans, trainers and fitted tops- often my Mum's old ones.

And then I went- well, I get called a punk, and emo or a goth depending on who it is. Now I'm trying to find those big platform boots and am planning to dye my hair blue when I leave school. I also started wearing eyeliner recently.



physicsteen
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06 Sep 2008, 5:05 pm

I always get a though time from my Dad about my personal appearance. I often can choose my outfit for the next day in ten seconds. I can't believe many NTs actually judge everything from looks. It gets difficult when you are pressured to lose weight and put blobs of makup on.



JohnHopkins
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09 Sep 2008, 3:44 pm

There's a difference between being vain and caring that you don't look like crap.



i_Am_andaJoy
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09 Sep 2008, 3:53 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:
There's a difference between being vain and caring that you don't look like crap.


agree. making an effort doesn't make you vain.

vain is an extreme. what you describe seems healthy.


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HD3H
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24 Sep 2008, 5:48 am

I did the same when i was smaller i didnt care at all. Now i notice it more still ware whatever i feel like but not so it sticks out like when i was younger



violet_yoshi
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05 Oct 2008, 2:48 am

I'm wondering what age you are. It might be puberty. Before I hit puberty I was a real tomboy, then gradually I noticed I started seeing babies as cute instead of annoying. I had more of a respect for the color pink, ect. I thought it was really weird and I was losing my identity, but I think it's just a part of growing up. I think the Estrogen might've made me more girly, than before when I was a major tomboy. I mean, it's not like I'm super major girly now, but I own a pink Nintendo DS.



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08 Oct 2008, 9:15 am

i used to be a proper tomboy. i threw on whatever was available clothes-wise and just threw my hair up into a ponytail.
now i choose what i want to wear carefully, and my hair has to be clean, straightened and put into a nice style in a nice cut.