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jeremy1069
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17 Aug 2018, 7:07 pm

I don't know where else to go to talk about this.

I'm 31, Aspergers and OCD. I've been in the Mental ward three times before. First when I was 11, second when I was 16, both of those for common autism-related meltdowns that were unknown at the time. Horrifying situations (Being put in the hospital) that I still have memories of. When I was 24, it was a traumatizing event that made me call an ambulance one too many times for crisis to not chapter me (That was 2 times)

This past week was voluntary but I wish I didn't. Had a meltdown. Haven't had one in awhile. I don't hurt anybody, I mostly hit myself. Apparently my niece never saw one before (I call BS on her part) and she called the police on me. I felt pressured by the police to just go with them and request hospitalization. I didn't want it, I knew it wouldn't help my overall problem. But when you're at the mercy of a cop, you don't know what they're going to do. So I just went with it.

7 hours in an ER room waiting for them to find a hospital that would take my insurance. A 35 mile ride in a transfer ambulance and about 2 hours in a waiting room before being taken into the unit.

Nothing but a bunch of people trying to push me to take pills on a locked unit. All kinds of sedating pills, sleeping pills flow like water there. As much of it as you want. Same old group therapy, no view out the window, people walking in on your every few minutes, nurses irritated every time you asked to use the phone. But I was cut off from the outside world, over an hour from anybody in my family, basically alone falling into anxiousness and more depression. The psychiatrist there kept pressuring me to go onto these medications I was on 10 years ago that kept me bedridden. I told them no, what it caused, and the psychiatrist got really mad at me because I didn't want to try one of her medications.

First thing, this is the ongoing gross mental health "system" we have in this world. This is why nobody is getting better. Because this is the answer they have to it. They say "It's to help you" "It's because we care about you." Obviously, the ones that say that know nothing about what being stuck in a "hospital" that feels more like a jail with pills.

Second thing, now that I'm home, 2 days home, I feel anxious. Almost PTSD like. I'm back to my same situation as before, but I have added worries that they'll make me go back, that I'll have nightmares about it, what if I turn out like my dad who goes to these hospitals for fun, and especially getting high bills in the mail and being bankrupt because my insurance won't pay for it.

What do I do? Nobody around me cares. Nobody I know either understands or if they do they're simply annoyed by me taking about it all the time. I'll get thru it, but I'm at my lowest point in mental illness (OCD in specific). I'm not in my 20s anymore so my body cannot handle all of this the way it used to. It's not easy to take it easy.



BeaArthur
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17 Aug 2018, 8:07 pm

I guess if you want to avoid hospitalizations, you need to aggressively manage your condition as an outpatient. Have you been doing that? I don't know if you work, or what your social situation is (living with parents or other relatives, living alone, etc.) You might be a person who does need to be on some type of meds if you are to avoid meltdowns. Do you have a psychiatrist and a therapist? outside of hospital, I mean.

You sound like you are not in the US, so what country are you in?


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jeremy1069
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17 Aug 2018, 9:03 pm

I am in the United States. Wisconsin to be exact.

I managed to stay far from those hospitals for years at a time. First time when I was 12, I had Aspergers and my mother didn't know how to handle the meltdowns.

Second time I was 16, it was -30 degrees and I didn't want to go wait outside for school and freeze to death. Had a meltdown and trashed my room. My mistake.

2011 there was a whole bunch of trauma going on at once. Nobody was here. Just me. I had talked to crisis the week before over some anxiety issue I was having. Then I called an ambulance because there was a whole bunch of stuff that was going on and I was here on my own. They said "Alright that's enough, you're being chaptered."

This time it seems like it's something I could have avoided if I was not afraid of what they were going to do to me. I was lucky this time, as I told the doctor "I want to go home" and the response "We have no reason to keep you here, you're here voluntary, so we'll get you going."

Should be known, there is an EXTREME shortage of any sort of therapy in this area, near Milwaukee. I have an appointment to see a therapist for the first time in years. It's in February of next year. That's what I wanted in the first place, but I don't think I should have had to agree to go into a mental hospital to get one.

I'm on 2 medications, both just to avoid withdrawal symptoms. They're not helping my condition. As for the meltdowns, I had them a lot when I was a kid but they have not happened in a long time since I got older. It's very rare. But I'm under a lot of pressure from my OCD and the withdrawal symptoms from the 5 or 6 SSRIs I was on in the past year, so I'm not surprised that one flared up.



renaeden
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18 Aug 2018, 2:47 am

February next year? That's a bit... far away.

Who's been prescribing you the SSRIs? A general doctor or a specialist?

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience in hospital. Where I am, they seem better and you don't have to pay anything unless you go to a private hospital.



BeaArthur
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18 Aug 2018, 11:10 am

I have never heard the term "chaptered" before, which is why I thought you were from another country than the US.

I'm not sure what to make of the six month wait for a therapist. Is that because you are on Medicaid or something, and most private-pay people won't see you for that reimbursement? A city the size of Milwaukee must have plenty of therapists, all competing with each other. Or are you seeing only a therapist with a certain qualification, such as "experienced working with adults with autism"? Or are you in an HMO that doesn't have enough mental health care?

There are usually some sources of help that can see you in the shorter term. Universities may have training clinics that will see patients on a sliding scale. Many therapists in private practice also have a sliding scale.

Do you work? Are you on SSI? These are important questions if you want to get advice getting needed outpatient care.

Finally, I suggest you look into support groups for depression or OCD or autism in your area. It is pretty easy to find this, using Google and the condition and city and the phrase "support group." These groups are usually either free or request a small donation. Sometimes a support group can tide you over while waiting for a specialist, and you may even get some tips on coping or leads for a therapist from other group members.


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BeaArthur
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18 Aug 2018, 12:34 pm

Here's a link to some support groups in the Milwaukee area: https://www.namigrm.org/nami-support-groups

Good luck.


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jeremy1069
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18 Aug 2018, 3:07 pm

"Chaptered" means you're forced to go and the court gets involved. It's how they handle suicidal people. Like criminals. I was taken there in shackles in 2011. Like a common criminal. Didn't really attempt suicide, I just said I felt like it. So they come and take you like you're a criminal. It's just "Policy" as they say. That was in 2011. Have not been inside any mental hospital from then until this past week.

I'm on SSD. I have Medicare, Medicaid. The only reason it takes so long is because my area (I'm not in the city of Milwaukee, I'm about 35-40 miles away) has no resources in regards to anything. Wait times to even get a pill pusher psychiatrist are very long.

I have a psychiatrist. He is terrible. Finding another is hard. He has 5,000 patients, sits maybe 2-4 minutes with each of them. That's all we have.

All of what I dealt with this past week really makes me feel hopeless about getting any kind of real help for anything. I'll probably be dealing with this mess the rest of my life unless I leave the state and wind up in a place with more resources, which is not probable or unless there's some miracle cure in the next decade.

I cannot believe, in 2018 they have absolutely nothing to help problems like this other than locking people in a room and putting them on sedative drugs, and if suicidal treated like a criminal. I feel even worse for people that have issues worse than I do. They're even more hopeless under the system we have.



BeaArthur
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18 Aug 2018, 4:11 pm

Do you have to live there? I think resources are more plentiful in the capital city. Or if you drive, you could drive to a bigger population area.

Rural mental health is a serious problem in many, many parts of the country. The population density is just too low to support multifaceted mental health teams. The population is also too low to support top notch cancer hospitals, trauma centers, and the like.

If nothing else, could a family member drive you in for a support group a time or two a month?


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jeremy1069
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18 Aug 2018, 9:03 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
Do you have to live there? I think resources are more plentiful in the capital city. Or if you drive, you could drive to a bigger population area.

Rural mental health is a serious problem in many, many parts of the country. The population density is just too low to support multifaceted mental health teams. The population is also too low to support top notch cancer hospitals, trauma centers, and the like.

If nothing else, could a family member drive you in for a support group a time or two a month?


I’m in a city of about 100,000 people. Not rural at all. I cannot drive. I could probably get someone to drive, but it is quite a distance.



BeaArthur
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18 Aug 2018, 9:26 pm

Then I'll just repeat what I said earlier: if you want to avoid hospitalizations, you need to aggressively manage your condition on an outpatient basis. I gave you a number of suggestions. Start investigating whether they might be possible and fruitful. If all you want to do is wait until February for a therapist, and complain about the lack of services, then I am afraid I can't help you much.


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jeremy1069
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19 Aug 2018, 12:11 am

BeaArthur wrote:
Then I'll just repeat what I said earlier: if you want to avoid hospitalizations, you need to aggressively manage your condition on an outpatient basis. I gave you a number of suggestions. Start investigating whether they might be possible and fruitful. If all you want to do is wait until February for a therapist, and complain about the lack of services, then I am afraid I can't help you much.


That’s what I have been doing. I have phone numbers, among other things that I’ve been calling.

My real reason for this post here was in distress from the post-hospital situation. It was traumatic. Think of this as traumatic event that I’m trying to forget. I’m trying to get myself back together from last week. It’s overwhelming.

In this case, I just needed to express myself to anybody who might listen.

I’m not trying to complain or anything. More of a vent, emptying my mind somewhere, etc.

I appreciate the responses here. It’s better to talk some place than not at all.



BeaArthur
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19 Aug 2018, 1:35 am

I understand. By and large I have been treated well by psychiatry, but I have had some hair-raising experiences with other doctors, including the one that left me permanently disabled.

Best wishes for a smooth course from here on.


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