Rants

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Mother bitching about Nike & “taking a knee” this morning. I told her if she wants to be mad at Nike, maybe she should worry about them using slave labor to make their products. I don’t give a flying f**k about “taking a knee”.

^I should tell her to “take a finger”.

I read her some info about Nike’s labor practices & then told her “taking a knee” is freedom of speech. I’m surrounded by “Trump-ets”.

I'm so scared that going to lose my mom and/or dad this year. I'm terrified. Don't ask why, but 2018 has just been a garbage year for me.

I'm so scared that something traumatic is just around the corner. My parents both work in schools and with all of the school shootings in this country, I have really bad fears for them and their safety.

My dad was already in a bad car accident this year and his best friend died, he's been through enough.

I fear too that it will be health-related. They both are old (no offense) and have issues. My mom has heart disease and diabetes. My dad is a former drug and alcohol addict and has Hepatitis.

I'll be fine one moment and then I'll have traumatic flashbacks from things that have happened in my life or that I fear will happen and I just shut down completely.

Isn’t “taking a knee” butthurt just another form of “political correctness”, you hypocrite?

If you’d like to “volunteer” for something, perhaps you should “volunteer” to clean up your disgusting hoard? I would be more than happy to do this for you, but I’m not “allowed”—I might throw away your “treasures”.

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Sometimes I wish there were more businesses out there for autistic employees and not just the computer software firms which, have been cited in the media over the last years as, not all autistic persons on this entire planet are computer programmer wanna-bees .

Wow.
What a nightmare.

I dreamed there was a company called "Aut Jobs" (play on "odd jobs"?), where autistic people could post their obsessive skills and find contract or permanent work. It operated in every city of the world like a network.

I hate this fickle body for having fickle needs, giving me inconsistent ways that screws up executive functioning. Never getting my 'best' for being too needy, too 'sensitive', and expecting me to 'control' this damn thing.

And this isn't exactly in my 'head' or 'belief', I meant this biochemically. Hate it. Really really hate it. Doesn't matter what my mood is either.


What mattered is this stupid roulette in my sleep, and see if I woke up with a win means I get a reliable stuff and good functioning, and a lose means I get various levels of dysfunction.

Doesn't matter how much or what I eat, how long I sleep, or how much enough exercise I did for the day. Or weeks. Or months.
Doesn't matter if I don't eat healthy, if I'm being picky or missing them. Hormones and sleep just screws them.


Doesn't help that I hate human needs in general.
Because my stomach is too sensitive, my sleep is always screwed by some sinuses that had been tormenting me for most of my waking life, and being 'sensitive' in general means small hormonal changes and big impact.
Having a female body doesn't help.

I'm already lucky enough that I'm just 'sensitive and easily change' instead of 'fragile' and 'easily get sick' or 'easily overwhelmed' kinds of sensitive.
I'm already grateful for not being sickly or weak, but this is just stupid.
But then again, my luck already cut itself off from birth -- no different from sparing me from asthma, but still have severe sinusitis that screws most of my life anyway.

But that also means no one would take me seriously -- making that telling anyone would be pointless.

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I feel bad, that Edna3362 happens to reside in a nation run by a dictator, though I can't say my situation is any greater..