New existential intrusive thoughts, and a sudden reappearance of intrusive thoughts from 2012 that I thought would never come back. Always having existential intrusive thoughts like "what if I'm God and my thoughts control reality" (the most prominent and disturbing one that I have to let run its course over and over again) or "what religion do I really believe in" or "what if I'm the only person alive", I'm starting to lose sleep and feel depersonalized, my Cherophobia (fear of happiness) is in full force, I feel like if I'm happy then something bad is absolutely going to happen. Every time a family member leaves the house I feel like something bad is going to happen to them. Too tired of my Agoraphobia to even address it anymore..I feel a constant dread every single day that I'll never be able to drive or make anything out of my life or that my parents will never see me succeed. My sister has Crohn's disease and it's incredibly stressful seeing her in pain almost every day. I'm on Klonopin 6mg daily and I'm worried about the side effects and how I'm going to ween off of it when the time comes. I just feel like I'm living in perpetual dread and I'm not sure what changed, maybe my medication does not work anymore. I feel like something bad is about to happen every second of my life lately, and I've dealt with a lot of stuff in my past but all of this feels new and very frightening, and I feel like I might be losing my sanity or developing schizophrenia or something. I also keep seeing coincidences everywhere like the universe is trying to tell me something and I try to ignore it. I know the thoughts are irrational but I am imprisoned with them inside my mind, and it's starting to really wear me down, mentally and physically. My chest feels tight from the chronic dread and nothing seems to work anymore. I feel like if this continues I will have to admit myself to a psych ward or something. I just don't know what to do anymore, just feel so lost and tired of it. Thanks for reading this if you did. I would really appreciate any feedback or suggestions or just anything from anyone. Just feel lost