My first and so far only real girlfriend

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I sometimes forget that I’ve actually had a girlfriend. Her name was Vanessa and she was born in Canada but lived in Texas because her mother was married to an American man. We first met at an Autism/Aspergers support group I used to be a part of. She actually showed interest in me first and even behaved assertively towards me which is very uncommon for women in the culture I live in. We even shared a Valentine’s Day together and kissed which were other two firsts for me.
However, things went downhill after that. I feared I got her pregnant after we hung out again after the Valentine’s Day moment. There were other reasons but that fear was the biggest one. She eventually moved back to Canada with her mother and I found out through Facebook she had gotten married up there.

Well at least you've had sex then.

I don't know how old you are but I know some NTs who are in their 30s and still haven't found the right person to settle down with.

I think there's far more to life and happiness and even a relationship than simply treating a girl or woman as a scoreboard to lay claim to whether one slept with them or not. There has to be more to a relationship than just if one ever had 1 moment or two of physical intimacy, you know what I'm saying

I was probably one of the few in that group who experienced sex. There were guys older than me who never did as well as never even dated. Some settled for women who were mentally challenged.

I am 32, turning 33 this year. I was 21 when I had that relationship.

I don’t think Joe is advocating that.

I hope this relationship wasn’t my only shot at love in this life. The fact even criminals get girlfriends while I can’t even get a coffee date makes my head spin.

I was just stating that what you did with the girl when you were young is quite normal for that age group. In a perfect world everyone would follow all the stages of romance by the book, but most people don't.
I think here a lot of Aspies believe in doing everything by the book and if one sounds rebellious to the rules then they get criticised like "oh no, you must never do that, that is so very wrong". But if NTs do it, why can't we?

This isn't about NTs vs Aspies. This is about respecting and dignifying women as more than objects to be scored sexually. It's really that simple

I just don’t want it to be the only time I experience love and intimacy while my older brother got to experience many times despite calling women “b*****s”.

Well OK, I was just supporting the OP because I know he's feeling down about not finding a girlfriend, and a lot of Aspies here have never even had sex before. It's not like the OP raped her or anything. Sounds like they were both consenting at the time.

I'm a woman myself by the way.

Thank you, Joe. I’ve stated it before but I like how ladies from the UK support me the most out of women from predominantly English speaking countries. There’s almost no middle ground when it comes to women from other predominantly English speaking cultures, including my own. Women from my country tend to be either totally supportive or tell me I am a horrible incel despite how I don’t hate women at all. It was also indeed consensual and it was actually her idea. I don’t condone rape and could never do it.

I know you weren’t addressing me but people need to realize you are a woman as well.

Partly why I fear this relationship could be the only one I’ll ever have is because it’s been 11 years since it happened.

Just means your kinds of women are scarce in your neck of the woods. You need to find a way to move to someplace where the kinds of women you get along with are more common.

I sometimes see nerdy/geeky women in my area but they already have boyfriends so that discourages me. Where did they meet up and how did they pull off being nerdy/geeky in a place that generally frowns upon those things?