I dont understand why everyone is against me dying

Post Reply New Topic

If I think my life has no purpose and that id be better off dead I dont understand why people want to work so hard to keep me alive. This week I was hospitalized for almost a week because of suicide, and no matter how rationally and articulately I give my reasons for wanting to die and not be alive I keep getting my desires invalidated and reasons ignored, as if there's nothing rational about wanting to die and as if living is somehow the only rational option. Personally I dont want to live and there's nothing going to change that. Not therapy, not medicine, nothing. If I think my life has more fulfillment and meaning dead than alive, if I say that therapy nor medicine nor any coping skill can ever take away my desire to not live, why does society act as if forced hospitalization is going to change that. ive been hospitalized, taken medicine, tried group therapy, tried individual therapy with the worst therapist in the world, and honestly my desire to live is just as strong as it was before: nonexistent.

People assume that not wanting to live is a pathology and congenital to those who are crazy and or dangerous, Me, I dont see that. For me I simply dont think there is any more meaning or joy to gain by living whereas the pain of living makes it a bleak miserable reality that isn't worth the cost. Why cant a person honestly just not want to live without everyone making them seem opprobrious for daring to choose how they live on their own terms?

Many of us have experienced feeling like you do but then something changed and we found life WAS worth living again.

But if you are insistent on your position, please don't wave it in everybody's face, because you may influence others to give up sooner than they otherwise would. Suicide can be contagious. Also, your position may unnecessarily stress others who are already vulnerable.

Be responsible.

Any direct attempt to dissuade you on my part would only be reiterating some cliche you've probably heard before. But I have been there before, and didn't do it. I feel better now, though not great and I still have bad days. But I'm glad I didn't go through with it. I'll die eventually anyway, that's the nature of life, and I've never been one to rush.

You've been through so much recently I'm wondering if later on you wont feel like this

Because you matter to us.
Suicide is ending a human life, and that is wrong.
You are here for a reason, a purpose, none of us knows what that purpose that is.
God/Allah put you here, let Him guide your life and use you for His Service.

I've wanted to end it all, many times. And that's not just an autism thing. Everyone feels like things are hopeless sometimes.
I was suicidal a few years ago, I'd lost 28 jobs. I lost my precious career and my home. My parents weren't helping me.

It's hard to be an adult with autism. I was finally hospitalized at age 42. I never thought I'd need it, I responsibly went to doctors and took meds for years. I worked, on and off, full time and part time.

If you have any family or friends, that's a big plus. Hospitals are not bad places. They're supposed to help you, doctors are, too. If the hospital has outpatient services, utilize them. You might need to get some counseling or therapy. Find out what makes you worthwhile and important, because you are!