I’m SO MAD at my sister!

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Kitty4670
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17 Apr 2021, 9:57 pm

I texted my sister, cuz I wanted to find out how much money I have in the trust fund, she told me that my money is running low, I still have enough for my rent & bills for a year. I wish told me this last year, I asked how much I have in the trust, she refused to tell me, she doesn’t need to tell me & she don’t need my permission that how my mom set up the trust fund. I know why my mom put my sister in charge of the trust fund, cuz my mom thought when she goes, me & my sister will get along & be sisters again, she was SO WRONG! Me & my sister only really got along when we were children, things got SOOO DIFFERENT between us when we became teenagers, even as children we didn’t get along all the time, but our relationship were so much better back then in the 70s. If she told me about my money sooner than I could have saved more money. Why my sister think she knows best? She can really act like my mom, she my sister, not my mom, I have a mom, she maybe be gone, but I still feel her, I talk to her still.

How do people live on only SSI or SSN if they not working?



HeroOfHyrule
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17 Apr 2021, 10:01 pm

Do you know why exactly she won't tell you the full amount? You should be able to know how much money you have so you can plan your expenses.

If she's in charge of the money it's not like her telling you how much you have will change anything about that...



IsabellaLinton
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17 Apr 2021, 10:08 pm

I'd ask her for a full statement from the bank showing all your past expenditures. I have a feeling she might be dipping into your money as the executor. By law she is only allowed a small percentage for handling the trust.

I hope you hire someone to manage the trust.


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Sylkat
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18 Apr 2021, 3:07 am

This is very concerning.
Do you have multiple forms of ID?
Take them, get yourself to the bank,
WITHOUT TELLING HER!
And politely but firmly insist on seeing the paperwork, ALL the paperwork, regarding the trust.
Someone will sit down with you and go over where every penny, every dollar has gone.
They might, if they have time, and you express that you really appreciate their help, help you with a realistic budget.
Do NOT discuss any of this with your sister.
Seriously.
If she knew you were going to look into the financial history, she might phone or text them and manage to convince them not to give you any information.
Please take this seriously, I strongly feel that you may be in trouble.


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Kitty4670
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19 Apr 2021, 4:42 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Do you know why exactly she won't tell you the full amount? You should be able to know how much money you have so you can plan your expenses.

If she's in charge of the money it's not like her telling you how much you have will change anything about that...



I asked her before, I forgot when I asked her, she said no. I asked again, she told me the amount.



IsabellaLinton
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19 Apr 2021, 4:49 am

Did you ever get a copy of the will? I remember advising you to contact the public records office where you live so you can track down the original and find the name of the lawyer who wrote the will. Having the will is step one but it's a necessary step. The bank might not have the will. In fact, it's doubtful that they would. Then I agree with sylkat that you should go to the bank. Take a lot of identification with your photo, and a copy of the will if you get one. Ask to have a meeting or appointment with the branch manager and then request a full summary of your expenses. Take your own banking records with you so you can compare what you personally spent with any mysterious withdrawals from the account.

Does your sister have an ATM card for the account, or online access to transfer funds from your account to hers?


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Kitty4670
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19 Apr 2021, 5:11 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'd ask her for a full statement from the bank showing all your past expenditures. I have a feeling she might be dipping into your money as the executor. By law she is only allowed a small percentage for handling the trust.

I hope you hire someone to manage the trust.



The trust fund is at another bank, she won’t give it to me, she don’t listen me alot. I asked her I wanted the login information for two of my bills, she said no. I’m taking care of my internet bill & other bills.

Do people need credit for bills, like for gas & electricity? Why would she take some of my money, she has her own money from the trust? My mom made a trust fund for me, my sister & her son, she died almost 8 years ago. My money in the trust fund wasn’t small. She should of known about the law & that she had to handle small amount, she have a lawyer. Is this in California?



IsabellaLinton
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19 Apr 2021, 5:49 am

Image

I don't know where you are in CA but yes you can get a copy of the Will. Google for the "public records office" of whatever county you live in, or where your mother used to live. You can phone them and ask if they have the document, and you might even be able to access it online.

If you were left a sizeable amount of money in trust eight years ago, it shouldn't be running low on money yet (or ever). The money is likely invested in a stock portfolio (stock market) or other investments and there should be someone managing it or making stock market decisions. Even if the money isn't invested and it's just sitting in an account, it doesn't seem like you spend a lot of money to have gone through it this quickly. If you WERE overspending, you need to know either way and your sister should be showing you the numbers to help you make a better budget. I know she's not doing that. I'm not accusing your sister of taking the money but it's possible. Eight years is not long at all and you shouldn't be running out yet. If and when you do run out of money, the Will should also explain what you do next. There's likely a back up plan for your care in the event that the money runs out.

Who does your taxes? They must have access to this information.


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Sylkat
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19 Apr 2021, 2:48 pm

Is there a reason that you have not made a phone call or gone to the bank in person to request a discussion about this?
Two of us, concerned and caring, want you to personally go there and SEE the paperwork.
As Isabella said, seeing the will should tell you where the money is.
Even if the situation intimidates you, you must take action as soon as possible, WITHOUT telling your sister.
This is Monday. Make your phone calls, get a copy of the will, take multiple identifications, and be at that bank when it opens tomorrow.
You may be in a very bad situation already and we are worried about you.


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20 Apr 2021, 2:53 pm

Dear Kitty,
Have you gone to the bank or called them?
Have you called to get a copy of your mother’s will?
Have you made an appointment to go to either place?


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Kitty4670
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25 Apr 2021, 9:38 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Did you ever get a copy of the will? I remember advising you to contact the public records office where you live so you can track down the original and find the name of the lawyer who wrote the will. Having the will is step one but it's a necessary step. The bank might not have the will. In fact, it's doubtful that they would. Then I agree with sylkat that you should go to the bank. Take a lot of identification with your photo, and a copy of the will if you get one. Ask to have a meeting or appointment with the branch manager and then request a full summary of your expenses. Take your own banking records with you so you can compare what you personally spent with any mysterious withdrawals from the account.

Does your sister have an ATM card for the account, or online access to transfer funds from your account to hers?



The trust fund is at another bank, I can’t go to the bank, it’s a bad idea, my sister is charge. She have a card for the account, she gave me the account number, I keep forgetting. I asked my sister for money every month, I have a disabled bank account, I can keep more money there, I been putting some money in there every month. I also have life insurance from my mom, it’s under $200.



Kitty4670
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25 Apr 2021, 9:53 pm

Sylkat wrote:
Dear Kitty,
Have you gone to the bank or called them?
Have you called to get a copy of your mother’s will?
Have you made an appointment to go to either place?



I can’t go to the bank, I can’t walk too good, I can’t drive.



Sylkat
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26 Apr 2021, 12:37 am

I don’t drive either.
I use buses, trolley, Lyft, Uber.
Do you have an attorney?
It might be a good idea to call him, and ask him to get you that information.
Are you on Disability?
If so, you should have a social worker who periodically is obligated to contact you and evaluate your situation.
It would not hurt to e-mail Legal Aid, and just talk to someone.
There has to be a way to look into this.
Use your computer, use your phone.
Do not discuss any of this with your sister, please.


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Kitty4670
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26 Apr 2021, 6:51 pm

Sylkat wrote:
I don’t drive either.
I use buses, trolley, Lyft, Uber.
Do you have an attorney?
It might be a good idea to call him, and ask him to get you that information.
Are you on Disability?
If so, you should have a social worker who periodically is obligated to contact you and evaluate your situation.
It would not hurt to e-mail Legal Aid, and just talk to someone.
There has to be a way to look into this.
Use your computer, use your phone.
Do not discuss any of this with your sister, please.


I don’t have a lawyer, call who? I’m on SSI.



Sylkat
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28 Apr 2021, 4:40 pm

You phone call SSI and ask to speak to your caseworker.
Before you do, clearly write a list of what you want to know.
Do not get off the phone until every question is answered and until you understand the answers.
Any paperwork you get from SSI has your case number.
Have that paperwork and number by the phone.
This has been a week.
You need to call SSI or the bank or get the number from your sister and write it down.


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IsabellaLinton
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28 Apr 2021, 4:44 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
Sylkat wrote:
I don’t drive either.
I use buses, trolley, Lyft, Uber.
Do you have an attorney?
It might be a good idea to call him, and ask him to get you that information.
Are you on Disability?
If so, you should have a social worker who periodically is obligated to contact you and evaluate your situation.
It would not hurt to e-mail Legal Aid, and just talk to someone.
There has to be a way to look into this.
Use your computer, use your phone.
Do not discuss any of this with your sister, please.


I don’t have a lawyer, call who? I’m on SSI.


I've suggested getting a copy of the Will from public records and explained how to do this. The Will would be written by a lawyer, and you will get their name from looking at the Will. That's the lawyer you need to contact. Alternatively you can contact legal aid to get a lawyer for free or an extremely reduced rate, based on your income and disabilities. There's no reason for this to be ignored because it's information you should know, regardless of what's happening with your sister.


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