I wish I was diagnosed as a kid

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HeroOfHyrule
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16 Sep 2021, 4:09 pm

Sometimes I feel really frustrated over the fact I wasn't given a diagnosis when I was assessed as a kid.

I struggled a lot in school and was treated like I just wasn't trying hard enough, and like my traits were just behavioural issues I was choosing to have. I actually did perfectly fine in special ed. when I was in it, and probably would have stayed there longer if I was diagnosed and would have found things a lot less stressful + gotten the help I needed in school. I also couldn't even get basic accommodations in middle or high school because I didn't have a diagnosis, and was ridiculed by teachers and staff for needing those things + not being able to meet their expectations.

After two assessments in my life I still don't have a diagnosis and now have to try to get one as an adult. I think if I had a diagnosis this entire time I'd be a lot more equipped for life and would cope a lot better, because I wouldn't have had all my issues for the past 20 years passed off as things I was choosing to struggle with and they would have been more likely to be addressed.

I'm also frustrated because my brother was able to get a diagnosis as a kid + support throughout his life and now functions a lot better than I do, and I am constantly compared to him even though I never got the help he had and he doesn't have the same issues I have as an adult because of it. I've also been treated when I was assessed like I just copied him and don't actually have the problems I have, which is more frustrating because it feels like even professionals compare me to him.



kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2021, 4:17 pm

I got diagnosed as a kid----back in the 1960s.

We didn't have the "support system" that exists now. I did go to a "special school" for kids with various types of problems. Since I was fully verbal by the time I got to the school, I was put on the academic track.

I might have gone to a couple of speech therapy sessions at the school; I don't remember. For behavioral modification, I was kicked out of the class, and made to stand in the hall. Once in a while, I was sent to the principal's office.

The school wasn't a bad school----but the emphasis was strongly on discipline. I looked into the school recently; it still exists. I was one of the first students there; I went to the school when it first opened in 1968. I believe there were about 100 students total in that school, with varying degrees of functioning.



HeroOfHyrule
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16 Sep 2021, 4:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I got diagnosed as a kid----back in the 1960s.

We didn't have the "support system" that exists now. I did go to a "special school" for kids with various types of problems. Since I was fully verbal by the time I got to the school, I was put on the academic track.

I might have gone to a couple of speech therapy sessions at the school; I don't remember. For behavioral modification, I was kicked out of the class, and made to stand in the hall. Once in a while, I was sent to the principal's office.

The school wasn't a bad school----but the emphasis was strongly on discipline. I looked into the school recently; it still exists. I was one of the first students there; I went to the school when it first opened in 1968. I believe there were about 100 students total in that school, with varying degrees of functioning.

That sounds crappy, and I'm sorry you went through that.

I don't think things would have been perfect if I was diagnosed as a kid, but when I was getting the support I needed in special ed. and having other assistance I thrived and was treated a lot better. Since I only got an ADD diagnosis though I was mainstreamed really quickly and given the bare minimum of assistance once I got "up to speed", and then after that treated like I shouldn't have the problems I have and like I was being lazy.

I think it's also frustrating because I had some teachers my brother had (since he's older than me) and they would be happy to have me at first, and then quickly become frustrated and resentful that I was in their class because I ended up not being like my brother, and they just assumed I wasn't trying hard enough since he did so well in school. My brother is a very "stereotypical aspie" that handles having ADHD better than I do, and I don't really fit the "Asperger's" type of autism beyond me learning to talk on time + have really bad attention and often impulse control problems.



kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2021, 4:32 pm

I hope you could get into a community college soon.

My view on the past....is that it's the past.

I'm sorry your brother was treated better than you were.



Erjoy29
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17 Sep 2021, 10:03 am

I feel you.

I wasn’t diagnosed either. I had to diagnose myself in my early 30’s. Then I finally got an official one.

We have to work with what we’ve got no matter the age. Some in their 50’s or so think it’s too late for them. In my opinion, it is never ever too late. Time on earth is precious.



funeralxempire
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17 Sep 2021, 11:30 am

Me too, it would have made life a lot easier if I understood the cards I was holding at 9 instead of at 29. :oops:


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HeroOfHyrule
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17 Sep 2021, 2:42 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Me too, it would have made life a lot easier if I understood the cards I was holding at 9 instead of at 29. :oops:

I kind of knew at 11 because I was told about being assessed, but honestly knowing + having everyone around me treat me like I was a NT child and then hold me to those expectations just made me really bitter for awhile, because I felt extra misunderstood. lmao



funeralxempire
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17 Sep 2021, 2:45 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Me too, it would have made life a lot easier if I understood the cards I was holding at 9 instead of at 29. :oops:

I kind of knew at 11 because I was told about being assessed, but honestly knowing + having everyone around me treat me like I was a NT child and then hold me to those expectations just made me really bitter for awhile, because I felt extra misunderstood. lmao


I got assessed as gifted but my issues were always overlooked and excused so the bar was set as though I was only singularly-exceptional, rather than recognizing that I'm doubly-exceptional.

(which really sounds just like a euphemism)


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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
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HeroOfHyrule
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17 Sep 2021, 2:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I hope you could get into a community college soon.

My view on the past....is that it's the past.

I'm sorry your brother was treated better than you were.

You're right that the past is in the past, and I definitely try to make the most of my life as it is now. I think I just get frustrated from time to time because I kind of have to play "catch up" in a lot of areas that I wouldn't have to be "catching up" in otherwise, like with the fact I'm still trying to get a diagnosis, and the fact I'm trying to teach myself basic things education wise due to teachers ignoring me.



HeroOfHyrule
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17 Sep 2021, 3:01 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Me too, it would have made life a lot easier if I understood the cards I was holding at 9 instead of at 29. :oops:

I kind of knew at 11 because I was told about being assessed, but honestly knowing + having everyone around me treat me like I was a NT child and then hold me to those expectations just made me really bitter for awhile, because I felt extra misunderstood. lmao


I got assessed as gifted but my issues were always overlooked and excused so the bar was set as though I was only singularly-exceptional, rather than recognizing that I'm doubly-exceptional.

(which really sounds just like a euphemism)

My brother was kind of considered "gifted", which has its own issues and sucks in its own way. I don't want to have been considered as "gifted" or anything, though I would like to have been recognized as my own person with their own issues and strengths. I actually still get compared to him a lot by my family members, which sucks.