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Flown
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15 Sep 2021, 12:13 pm

I just told my mom about us selling our home and possibly moving North within the month, and I got the biggest guilt trip ever. I feel awful now.

We have rarely seen each other despite me living within 2 hours of her for the last 13 years. I almost always had to be the one to make the effort to go see her. My relationship with her is a complicated one. She has become toxic over the past 8 years or so (due to a pharmaceutical addiction), and I've had to keep my distance to keep my sanity. I have still made an effort to call and video chat with her despite that, but she rarely answers or talks to me. Her health is not the greatest these days, so I DO worry about her all of the time.

I don't understand why she wants to "keep me close" when she has rarely made an effort to see me while I've been here anyway.


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Joe90
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15 Sep 2021, 5:40 pm

Being told sshh is bad enough, but being told sshh for no reason is worse. Some people are more shushy than others. My boyfriend is a shushy person. I had to tell him that I can't bear the sound of sshh, weird I know but he does it too often to have to pretend I don't care. Like tonight I was in the kitchen and I thought I heard him call my name, though I couldn't be sure. When he came into the kitchen I asked him if he called my name earlier, and his answer was "sshh". I didn't know what I had to shush for, so I asked him, and he gave no reason, just kissed me. Yes, I appreciate the kisses, but I still don't know why he had to sshh me just for asking a question. I had to remind him not to sshh me unless absolutely necessary, and he apologised and said he forgot. I don't blame him for forgetting, as how many people actually dislike the sshh sound? Very few. So understandably he's not going to remember not to sshh. But at the same time, he does use sshh more than needed. He just seems to be a shushy sort of person.

I wish sshh hadn't been invented by humans. Be nice if people used a different sound, such as a "ffffff" sound. Anything but sshh. So cringing and...ugh!


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16 Sep 2021, 3:39 am

Joe90 wrote:
Being told sshh is bad enough, but being told sshh for no reason is worse. Some people are more shushy than others. My boyfriend is a shushy person. I had to tell him that I can't bear the sound of sshh, weird I know but he does it too often to have to pretend I don't care. Like tonight I was in the kitchen and I thought I heard him call my name, though I couldn't be sure. When he came into the kitchen I asked him if he called my name earlier, and his answer was "sshh". I didn't know what I had to shush for, so I asked him, and he gave no reason, just kissed me. Yes, I appreciate the kisses, but I still don't know why he had to sshh me just for asking a question. I had to remind him not to sshh me unless absolutely necessary, and he apologised and said he forgot. I don't blame him for forgetting, as how many people actually dislike the sshh sound? Very few. So understandably he's not going to remember not to sshh. But at the same time, he does use sshh more than needed. He just seems to be a shushy sort of person.

I wish sshh hadn't been invented by humans. Be nice if people used a different sound, such as a "ffffff" sound. Anything but sshh. So cringing and...ugh!


I understand where you are coming from, and I don't mean to annoy you, but could you type more quietly? :mrgreen:



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16 Sep 2021, 5:16 pm

I'm really irritated. My mom thought I was asleep and I overheard her talking to my dad about how I need to "get over" being sexually assaulted by one of my family members as a toddler, because it prevents her from talking to them, even though I never talk about it, and she's the one who made a big deal about it and ruined her relationship with them by doing so? I have no idea what kind of altered reality she lives in but she's f*****g crazy.



Joe90
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21 Sep 2021, 3:08 pm

Sick of people not understanding how much I hate Asperger's. People criticise me (especially on WP) because of not telling my boyfriend about it and saying I'm deceiving him and all that. I'm sorry but I do not want the stupid label following me around my whole life. I'm my own person, I'm in a relationship, I've moved towns, so Asperger's can f**k off. If I was like 99% of other Aspie girls and never got a diagnosis in the first place then there would be no pressure to have to tell people. But because it is written on my medical records, it means I must tell everyone otherwise I'll be deceiving people. But nobody has any idea how ashamed I am about Asperger's. I just cannot bring myself to look at someone in the eye and say "I have Asperger's". I just can't do it. It hurts to even mention that word, the only place I can mention it is on WP because it's anonymous. But in my offline life I just don't want to be known as "a person on the spectrum". I just want to be me, not my diagnosis. I believe once you tell people you have it, you become the diagnosis. There is a lot of misconceptions out there about autism, and the more psychotic nutters with autism that keep going out shooting and murdering people, the more the stigma grows and soon autism is going to become as stigmatized as what schizophrenia is. The public will immediately think "autism=psychosis" instead of "autism=developmental disorder".
And if my boyfriend knew, then no doubt his family will find out, and a couple of his relatives work at a care home for autistic adults. I don't want his relatives to go thinking I'm one of them when I am not. I don't want people seeing me as problematic or a person with something wrong with her. I don't want to be tied to this diagnosis. So the least I can do is just pretend I don't have it and have as many people around me be none the wiser as possible. Yes my whole family, family friends, neighbours, and everybody else I knew from childhood knows about my shame, but my boyfriend and his family and my work colleagues don't know about it and I feel more free.
When people know I have it I keep thinking they're waiting me to start rocking or flapping my hands or covering my ears at a cricket chirping or something.
No, I'm not like that. I'm just Joe90.


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25 Sep 2021, 6:29 pm

I don't know where we're going to go after next month and I don't even know if we will be able to keep the pets. I'm so stressed out and depressed that I am starting to feel suicidal, things just keep getting worse.



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27 Sep 2021, 10:57 pm

John Walsh, Dog the Bounty Hunter and Dr. Phil are parasites who use other people's misery to elevate their brands.


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02 Oct 2021, 11:18 am

I hate copyright policies on YouTube. They keep taking off my favourite shows or audiobooks - ones you can't really buy or order anywhere (and I don't use Netflix).

I like watching the Supernanny series but they took those off YouTube but there's almost every episode of the American episodes. I don't want to watch the American ones, they're not the same. The kids aren't half as naughty as they are in the UK episodes. Why did Supernanny have to go to America in the first place?

Also they took off some of my favourite audiobooks. It's so unfair. The only ones there are are of people reading audiobooks themselves, and I'm sorry I know they mean well and everything but it's just not the same.

God I hate copyright policies. They're a killjoy. :roll:


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02 Oct 2021, 11:37 am

I wish you would come to the USA and meet some real Yanks.

Maybe then you will get a better impression of Americans.

I’ve been to the UK, and my impression of British folks and its landscape changed so much.



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02 Oct 2021, 2:41 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I hate copyright policies on YouTube. They keep taking off my favourite shows or audiobooks - ones you can't really buy or order anywhere (and I don't use Netflix).

I like watching the Supernanny series but they took those off YouTube but there's almost every episode of the American episodes. I don't want to watch the American ones, they're not the same. The kids aren't half as naughty as they are in the UK episodes. Why did Supernanny have to go to America in the first place?

Also they took off some of my favourite audiobooks. It's so unfair. The only ones there are are of people reading audiobooks themselves, and I'm sorry I know they mean well and everything but it's just not the same.

God I hate copyright policies. They're a killjoy. :roll:


Youtube is such a nazi when it comes to copyright. 2 seconds of a song or film can get a channel banned within minutes of uploading while they do bugger all about animal abuse. I guess it's just a reflection of the values of the world in our futuristic, modern society. Anything involving money to be made or lost takes priority over anything else, and the big guys beat on the little ones any chance they get to remind them who's in charge. It's depressing.
End rant.


You could try looking on dailymotion. I myself found some shows there I couldn't find elsewhere. Sites like putlocker are another option, although you should need to use caution and some very good anti-virus software and adblockers to stay safe on seedy places such as those.



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02 Oct 2021, 2:44 pm

Quote:
I wish you would come to the USA


No way - I might get shot when walking down the street.

It's just that people on the US Supernanny all seem to have big houses, like really huge houses with kitchens that are as big as my whole apartment. The people on the UK Supernanny have standard council houses. The UK families are just working class families with real troubled children, while the US families seem to be rich folks that just want to be on TV. The kids aren't naughty at all.

It might be because I can't seem to relate to the emotions of Americans like I can with British people. The way an American uses tone of voice when they shout just doesn't give me a ''I'm really frustrated!'' impression like a British person does. I suppose in some parts of the US with a less ''stronger'' accent might be more relatable, but a lot of American accents have that singsong sort of tone where real outbursts sound fake even if they're not.
Maybe Americans feel the same about British accents and tones of voice, I don't know.


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02 Oct 2021, 3:50 pm

Loud music in my neighbourhood. Every. Night. Made worse by the fact that more often than not it's not even good music. Just UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ crap that makes the entire house buzz like a vibrator. Sometimes I can hear it through my own music (loudly on my headphones at that) so I can't even block it out properly.



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02 Oct 2021, 5:39 pm

I’m 60 years old. I’ve walked down the streets of some lousy neighborhoods. I’ve never been shot.

The US is not Death Wish Territory….just like the UK is not all coal mines or fog or whatever.

I once stayed in a “council house” in Wandsworth, SW London. It was very similar to a US row house. The person living there was getting “benefits.”



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03 Oct 2021, 9:18 am

Today is sh-t and I hate everything in the world.



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03 Oct 2021, 9:20 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I’m 60 years old. I’ve walked down the streets of some lousy neighborhoods. I’ve never been shot.

The US is not Death Wish Territory….just like the UK is not all coal mines or fog or whatever.

I once stayed in a “council house” in Wandsworth, SW London. It was very similar to a US row house. The person living there was getting “benefits.”


"Council house" "Benefits"? We're they rated on TripAdvisor?


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kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2021, 12:01 pm

It was an actual council house inhabited by someone on Jobseekers Allowance.

She is a friend of my wife’s.