I wish I were neurotypical

Post Reply New Topic

I'm just not used to other people guessing I have ASD. All I did was tell her things that make me anxious (death, covid, cancer, WW3, losing loved ones, losing jobs, etc), and then she was all like "have you ever thought you might be autistic?" But I also told her ADHD-related things like being disorganised, disliking repetitiveness, being impulsive, etc, but she never said "have you ever thought you might have ADHD". She wasn't aware that I was diagnosed with ASD or ADHD until I told her after. Her view of autism meant "all anxiety" and her view of ADHD meant "impulsivity in adults, hyperactivity in children".

So after going through all the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD, it basically means nothing if it only means two things. So she has now made me feel worse about myself and I feel like quitting her sessions.

Maybe if I was neurotypical I wouldn't be stupid enough to worry about everything.
Now I better start pretending not to be anxious any more if it screams out autism so clearly. I thought anxiety disorders were a co-morbid to ASD or ADHD. I mean, sometimes I feel I get more anxious than a lot of members here because of the way I explode with panic in the "autistics will be thrown into nazi camps" and "WW3 is upon us" threads, while other members are just discussing it lightly.

Guess or no guess, you can always communicate the fact that question is offensive for you.

That you hate it, that it doesn't resonate since it's a therapist session.
And, that's the difference between everyday lay people from professionals.

Always expect there's a gap between them -- that the former won't understand and latter won't be as easily fooled.



People who cannot distinguish between anxiety from autism makes me laugh.
I don't respect people who always think autism is a form of anxiety or all about anxiety.

Anxiety and constant worrying is the main reason why I cannot relate well to autistics in this forum.
And you brought up everything that resonates commonly with autistics.

Even anxious allistics or even anxiety prone NTs can relate more to many autistics in that particular reason than I do because of that.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I just hate having ASD and I hate it when people say it isn't that bad. Here's a list of reasons why I hate autism:-

1. It's always a case of Us Vs Them, which I hate. It's like we're the problem because we "can't put ourselves in other people's shoes" (whatever that really means) but it's OK for NTs to be unable to put themselves in autistic people's shoes because autistics are hard to empathise with. Or something like that. It's as though autistic people are less human or something. So autism makes me feel less human.

2. Autism sounds like an outdated term that doesn't describe the disorder any more. It was named autism back in the mid 20th century, to label people who couldn't talk and were severely locked inside their heads. Autism should have had its name changed years ago. I refuse to be labelled something that's another term for selfishness. No wonder people get so misled by it.

3. My parents weren't exactly prepared for bringing up a challenging burden of a kid, and they seemed just as afraid of autism as I was. My mum had PTSD because of her alcoholic father who made her childhood life 'abnormal', and having a kid on the autism spectrum brings abnormality and she was also afraid of how the world was treating me (being treated differently, more chance of being bullied, etc). No parent wants their kid being bullied and it is very rare for an autistic kid not to get bullied.

4. Society wants everyone to be normal, whatever that is. When you're not normal, you get judged, bullied, rejected, hated. It's so isolating and depressing when you have the same desires NTs have yet you're trapped by the horrible disease.

5. Yes, autism is somewhat a disease. I mean, I keep reading that autistic people have a shortened lifespan, so it might as well be a disease if it's going to kill you. And it's no good saying "oh that's only in severe autism cases" because what is severe? According to autism sites, mild, moderate and severe doesn't exist any more. We're all just one label now, right? So how does one know if they're "severely autistic" enough to have deadly autoimmune disorders as well? I could have an autoimmune disorder without even knowing, and I could die next week, or if I get covid (despite being boostered).

6. If it wasn't for autism I don't think I would have experienced such harsh treatment from other people all through my teens that have made me become a resentful adult that hates when people say all NTs have empathy and all autistics lack empathy.

7. The double standards. NTs inevitably are allowed to take things personally and autistics must understand that, but if an autistic takes something personally we're being selfish for "not thinking beyond ourselves". f*****g BS.

8. Autism is so isolating, so embarrassing, has the most inconvenient symptoms. Whoever heard of a brain disorder that makes you get severely obsessed with stuff? Whoever heard of a brain disorder that makes you sensitive to light, sounds, touch, etc? Why can't it just be a social communication disorder and be done with it? Why all these thousands of other symptoms that makes life suck?

9. Sharing a few symptoms with psychopathy. I've met a psychopath before and I feel deeply ashamed if I'm to be compared to him. Makes me shudder, even though I shared no traits with him AT ALL, my stupid embarrassing label says otherwise. I'm supposed to "lack empathy", meaning I'm supposed to not give a s**t about anybody's feelings.

10. Autism is not only genetic but also contagious . Ever heard of one autistic child affecting NT siblings? Usually NT siblings of an autistic develop anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Autism is horrible. It's as tragic as Alzheimer's. But Alzheimer's kills you quicker and you get to live a life as neurotypical before getting it. Autism is usually something you are born with, or at least magically develop 4 years into your life like it did me, and then you die at around 50.

f**k autism. I f*****g HATE it with a vengeance.

they are not superior

they are boring

all they care about is social chit chat
they don't want to learn anything
they don't care about understanding anything
]they are empty and boring

they are walking egos

I'm bored

they have their problems too

they are. not so perfect

kinda dumb actually

all they care about is ego

boring...;

NT= ego

ego
ego

its boring

they are boring
]no passion for anything

but ego

so dull

IM BORED