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babybird
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10 Apr 2022, 9:14 am

Cornflake wrote:

Pepe wrote:
You could suggest that the floor could be carpeted if it isn't already.
And who will pay for it?


My housing association ripped out the laminate flooring from the previous tenant before I moved in here because they said it was too noisy for the downstairs people. I couldn't afford to put carpets down and so the floorboards were bare for about two years so the problem was made worse.


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Joe90
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10 Apr 2022, 11:35 am

My previous upstairs neighbour got rid of all her carpets and just had bare floorboards because she was an obsessive compulsive cleaner and thought carpets were germy or something. But these apartments did originally have carpets when they were first built, so I think the landlords should have put carpets back in before the new neighbours moved in. They have a baby so I'd have thought they'd want rugs or whatever for the baby when he's crawling or kicking about on the floor. It would be a lot less noisy for us down below.

Sometimes I can hear them all night - even with earplugs in and the fan going. There is no way to block it out. It makes me really mad and my boyfriend says "just ignore it". I'm sorry but ignoring stuff is almost impossible when you have ADHD.


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Edna3362
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11 Apr 2022, 2:49 am

At the moment, I'm utterly pissed.

Oh, and I'm also working. Outside of schedule.
Also I've yet to have my period.

And also more lectures and so called lessons I couldn't learn. :roll:

Honestly, at the moment, I'm just few steps away from throwing stuff.
But hey, today's job let's me throw a stuff or two loud enough to hear as long as it's not fragile. There's that.


Soooo, why am I like this??? :lol:
I hate this stupid body. And it's stupid hormones. :x That's why.


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Joe90
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12 Apr 2022, 12:17 pm

Sick of coming home from work and being shouted at by a drunk (my boyfriend). Want to tell his sister but at the same time feel I shouldn't really.
I'm already feeling depressed and anxious, due to losing my mum and worrying about me or my other relatives getting cancer and dying.

Sick of being trapped by f*****g autism as well. Autism repulses me. f*****g lack empathy, selfish, narcissistic s**t and all that.

Sometimes I just want to sleep and escape my mental health for a while.


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AprilR
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15 Apr 2022, 3:07 am

I am tired from working just fire me already!! Why can't these people see i am too dumb to work? I don't want to hate myself by internalizing your Pity. I guess i will Just act even dumber than i really am Just so you can recognize it.



PhosphorusDecree
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17 Apr 2022, 5:19 am

Sick of living in a world where the show is run by psychopaths, traitors, thieves, the corrupt, rapists, con-men, mass murderers, senile Old Boys, deranged fanatics, self-promoting incompetants, cynical demagogues and other such subhuman scum, all cheered on by the brainwashed idiotic ****-for-brains masses they daily trample underfoot.


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Kerch
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17 Apr 2022, 8:34 am

Mum had brunch all set up, baked little breads and everything, I was looking forward to it, but her c-bag bald english boyfriend got angry they couldn't go to the dump to throw some crap away because it's easter. So instead he does what he always does which is moping in his room complaining about how stupid our country is (go the f-ck back home then, sh-t immigrant).
Later they had an argument. My mum pointed out how he never does any shopping or cleaning or basic things like that around the house. But he says that's okay because he sweeps the leaves sometimes and tries to book holidays and all manner of crap she doesn't really need him to do. He's a lazy prick who usually watches tv while my mum's busy cooking and cleaning.

So my mum's upset, we're not going to see my grandparents today anymore either. I'm upset and haven't eaten anything today. The sun's setting and I've spent the whole day in bed feeling awful. I was planning on making this day productive but that's not going to happen now. I hate my mum's f-cking boyfriend. I wish he was dead. I want to kill myself and wish me and everybody else in the world was dead.



Summer_Twilight
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22 Apr 2022, 8:48 am

I am so tired of letting the same people hurt me, affect my happiness. I am also tired of holding a grudge against them to the point that I would still like to tell them off or confront them. I mean, sure they have done or said things that I found hurtful but I need to quit reminding them what they did to me or the fact that they are miserable people who enjoy making everyone else feel that way unless they are happy. I have a life of my own and I would like to start enjoying it thank you very much.



HeroOfHyrule
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24 Apr 2022, 1:06 pm

I wish I could block posts about trans people on the sites and apps I'm on so I don't have to constantly see fear mongering BS from insecure cis people anymore.



Joe90
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25 Apr 2022, 11:07 am

Why do people driving cars just honk their horn suddenly as they pass me when they don't even know me and there's no one else around to honk at? It's like they go "let's honk at this random pedestrian for no particular reason." I mean, aren't drivers supposed to be concentrating on the road rather than what a random pedestrian walking safely on the sidewalk minding her own business is doing? Why am I always noticed so much when I don't want to be? Why can't I be noticed when I do want to be, like when trying to make friends?

I hate this society sometimes. I feel like everyone's out to get me. :cry:


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HeroOfHyrule
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27 Apr 2022, 5:06 pm

My dad is letting my mom text me via his phone and I'm PISSED because he knows I don't want to talk to her AT ALL, plus that means she knows my number now. Why are my parents f*****g stupid and have absolutely no boundaries.



AprilR
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02 May 2022, 8:23 am

My friend ruined my holidays bc of her hateful message. Ty so much for your negative input have a nice life! b***h



Joe90
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03 May 2022, 8:59 pm

I wish we had the old neighbour back living upstairs above us again, even though she was an obsessive compulsory cleaner. This couple living above us now is way noisier and their baby is always crying. I hate the sound of babies crying. It's bad enough hearing them whenever you go in public, now I have to listen to it at home too, and I don't even have a baby. People shouldn't live in apartments if they have a baby, and should only be given downstairs apartments if they have kids.
I've never even seen these people above us. I can just hear them. Sick of it. Why can't baby humans be like baby animals? Baby humans are the noisiest babies on the planet. Even dogs with loud barks start off as puppies with quiet barks.


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Nekomonster
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05 May 2022, 4:46 pm

Every second I carry on feels like a minute of an unreasonable level of anxiety, bordering on a panic attack, largely about just being alive and everything that's starting to collapse at once.

I stopped taking online classes in February because working almost full-time, doing schoolwork, and trying to manage any sort of relationships and expectations outside of those was killing me. (Well, what I'm doing now is killing me, just slower.) They also started to demand things of me that were simply unreasonable from a remote perspective, like conducting a professional interview and writing a paper on it in one week. I had no intent on leaving school permanently - I was just going to find a place on a different campus or independently by the next school year. It'd be better to have the actual experience, right?

Well, unfortunately for me and anyone who's ever come into contact with me, I am a moron, so that seems less likely by the day. I waited too long to apply to a lot of places, forgot the recommendation letter I needed for one (inattentive ADHD), and honestly in my current state the thought of living on my own or with a roommate I don't know sounds terrifying.

Work gives me anxiety, because despite feeling like and being told by everyone that I'm in a perfect position, I can never stop myself from screwing something up. Yesterday I printed some posters out before I left, and about 20 minutes later, sitting at home, realized that one of them was supposed to be double-sided instead of two pages. That is extra work for somebody else that is my fault. The thought pattern goes - carrying about business --> blatantly miss something that a neurotypical person would grasp --> realize my mistake too late for an easy correction --> spiral into thoughts of despair and self-hatred --> take a breath, rinse, repeat.

I hate being careless, and it truly is unintentional. I feel like it's not going to get any better as long as I...well, am alive and present. Other than that, I've been told that I do great work - yet I feel like it's by people who feel bad for me, and like they have to give some comfort in the young, dumb kid who is at least trying, since they're hurting for help at the moment. I'm a little scared of my boss, simply because she's a micromanager and I feel like I can never keep up to her standard for reasons that are out of my control.

For Easter weekend I did something majorly out of my comfort zone - I flew to Wisconsin to see the guy I'd been talking to online for about two months, who I was happily calling my boyfriend. We spent a long weekend together; we ran to a bunch of stores and shops together, went to an arcade, hung out in his basement cuddling and watching anime, I lost about half my virginity - I thought it went swimmingly, and he told me when I left that he had a great time and didn't want me to leave. Pretty much since I've got off that plane home, he's been almost completely absent. He told me he was going to be busy with school, but he was getting onto me before for not talking enough, and now I'm getting nothing. I still try to text him every day, and when I get a response it's hours later, something like "I'm alive, just been busy" or "You up?" (not at 4am I'm usually not). It has been two weeks and I've only gotten a handful of sentences from him. I want to call him and ask him what's going on, but I'm also overwhelmed with everything else and feel like I can spare the additional trauma. I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't be in relationships at all.

(My back-up theory is that his dad found about us and he's simply too scared or not allowed to text me. I should just call. I feel like I'm choking on air just thinking about that though.)

I feel like I have "other things" creeping in all the time that remind me of the symptoms of other disorders, yet I wouldn't say I have those disorders - I'm just a clusterf**k of nothing good. I have tics that range from gargling spit in my mouth to snapping the belt on my work lanyard. Certain textures cause me to immediately need to wash my hands, far more than anything traditionally unsanitary. I tend to lie when there's not a good reason to, out of some perceived protection of myself that just ends up making it worse. My moods are incredibly unstable, hence the times recently I've been in more of a shitposting mood and haven't come to WP to rant. I have this terrible inability to perceive depth or directions or something that makes playing video games that require an immediate reaction time a serious struggle for me.

I know I can manage more than I give myself credit for sometimes. I went through three airports to stay with someone hundreds of miles away, and only f****d up a handful of times that I have engraved in my soul. (Maybe more than I realized, considering the current situation.)

"These are things you need to talk to a doctor about." It's hard for me to bring these things up with people in-person. I feel like it's a bunch of systems in my brain working overtime to sabotage me for everything I've experienced and put them through in the past twenty years. Well played.

In conclusion (or tl;dr;) - my personal life is dead, my school life is f****d, my work is driving me to a boiling point, and here I am, still standing but knees wobbly. I often wonder, how do you come back from this - just so the next thing I write isn't published post-humously? I don't expect anyone here to have the answer - just throwing the question out there.


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Edna3362
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09 May 2022, 2:21 am

Tiny yet numerous screwups that don't matter very much.
Yet one of those tiny screwups among the numbers would matter evermore.

Wasn't there a fable about losing a single coin repeatedly over the course of the story until the whole bag is gone?
That's like someone's patience instead. And/or also my own.

Sigh.

It's not that I aim for perfection.
It's those type of mistakes I'm sick of stumbling over and over.


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Joe90
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19 May 2022, 2:34 pm

Hate people going sshh to me, just the sound of sshh is so cringing, why do people do it? They do it in all languages, I've heard people talking in foreign and they went sshh for whatever reason so it's not just English. Who came up with the word? Well it's not even a word, it's just a sound. It's a sound that means dominance, power, like "I want silence right at this instant so SSHHH!" and the f*****g sshh sound just automatically makes you shut up even when you don't want to. It's like veto power. And nobody tells me to sshh mid-sentence. It triggers a meltdown (an adult tantrum). I can be in a good mood then as soon as someone says sshh to me it can change just like that, and sometimes I even cry. I just can't stand it. Just a note to everyone on this planet and beyond - never, ever tell Joe90 to sshh, otherwise you might as well just launch a nuclear bomb.
Ps. Don't try and be funny and write a post after this saying sshh, because you're not funny.

Thank you.


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