My anxiety presents atypically because of alexithymia

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For me anxiety isn’t that tangible of a feeling. I read about other people with anxiety having panic attacks and things like that, but I don’t find that relatable. I worry a lot, but I don’t worry about the same things most people do. I read about other people with anxiety and they just seem irrational to me, despite having plenty of irrational worries myself. My worries are things very specific to me that most people don’t even care about. Because of alexithymia I sometimes only know in hindsight I was anxious, as I didn’t feel like I was anxious at the time. My anxiety presents more in terms of behaviour, especially avoidant behaviour, as for most of my life I just wouldn’t do anything the slightest bit difficult or stressful, even if it was something I’d have really liked to do. I’d also overthink tasks to an extreme degree as I was worried about getting them wrong (especially in a social context), and this made them near impossible to do. But since my anxiety didn’t show itself in the usual ways it went undiagnosed for most of my life.

Does indulging in research into history lessen your anxiety?

I believe the Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, Roman, nor an empire at the end. But, in the medieval period, it was a viable entity. Kingdoms like France were the same way. The German principalities had feudal obligations with the Holy Roman Emperor as being the ultimate "liege lord." Same with the various duchies and other political entities which were sort of "within" the Kingdom of France through feudal obligations, but were separate from the Kingdom of France in some ways.