Having An Extremely Hard Time

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I’m having a very extremely hard time right now, I REALLY HATE being an adult, most of the time, I don’t feel like a grown up adult, I feel like I’m 5 years old in an adult body, other times when I’m calm, relaxed & happy, I can be a very immature young adult that don’t know stuff, but I can be responsible, but not responsible enough, I soooooo hate feeling this way. I don’t have anybody to help me read & make me understand my mail that I’m reading. I don’t want to feel so stupid cuz I really cannot understand cuz of my Learning Disability. I got letter this week from my apartment manager, it was addressed to my sister cuz her name is on my apartment lease, I didn’t understand the handwriting, my sister name start with a f, but the f look like a p & the rest of the letters were so close together, it was hard to read, my rent is going up a little, but I really didn’t understand the rest of the letter, I don’t really understand apartment letters stuff or doctor letters. I feel sooooo stupid right now. I’m alone doing everything myself & faulting BIG TIME as an adult,I’m crying now, I wish I was dead. I found out that I think I have chronic fatigue, I been doing research, it sounds like me, trouble sleeping, being sleepy when I wake up, muscle pain, weakness in muscles & other stuff. My hip been hurting since I fell down last week, earlier this week, I could barely move, since it been cold, I can’t wait for spring, but that will be closer to summer I’m having a very extremely hard time right now, I REALLY HATE being an adult, most of the time, I don’t feel like a grown up adult, I feel like I’m 5 years old in an adult body, other times when I’m calm, relaxed & happy, I can be a very immature young adult that don’t know stuff, but I can be responsible, but not responsible enough, I soooooo hate feeling this way. I don’t have anybody to help me read & make me understand my mail that I’m reading. I don’t want to feel so stupid cuz I really cannot understand cuz of my Learning Disability. I got letter this week from my apartment manager, it was addressed to my sister cuz her name is on my apartment lease, I didn’t understand the handwriting, my sister name start with a f, but the f look like a p & the rest of the letters were so close together, it was hard to read, my rent is going up a little, but I really didn’t understand the rest of the letter, I don’t really understand apartment letters stuff or doctor letters. I feel sooooo stupid right now. I’m alone doing everything myself & faulting BIG TIME as an adult,I’m crying now, I wish I was dead. I found out that I think I have chronic fatigue, I been doing research, it sounds like me, trouble sleeping, being sleepy when I wake up, muscle pain, weakness in muscles & other stuff. My hip been hurting since I fell down last week, earlier this week, I could barely move, since it been cold, I can’t wait for spring, but that will be closer to summer My hip is slowly getting better, but yesterday, I had a pretty bad time, I ordered groceries from grocery app, the delivery person delivered my groceries to the wrong apartment, I had to go out, I went outside with my walker, I found my groceries, I started having anxiety & I was crying too, my neighbor helped me, she was taking to me, I couldn’t hear her too much, my ear been clogged up. I was walking back to my apartment, the next day, I got out of bed at 1:50 PM, my back was hurting so much, my hip was hurting a little bit & the side of my hand been hurting. I’m not strong enough to go on.

Do you have any trusted friends or family members that you can send photos of the letters to for them to type out responses to you and explain?

The apartment letter likely isn't too personal; you could even post it to the forum and have someone interpret it for you. Chances are it doesn't contain personal or financial information. Many of us Waste a lot of time here and reading it and explaining it would at least be something useful and helpful!

A letter from a doctor might contain medical information, so maybe best not to post it publicly I dunno. Depends what's in it. That one might be better shown to someone you know and trust to know your medical information just in case there's info there you shouldn't be sharing with the world.

Even if you don't have people that can come over to read them and explain them, with quick cell phone photos or scans of the letters you can send them to Someone to review for you.

I also think it would be good for you to have someone who can deal with things you can't deal with yourself. E.g. I have my sister who does phonecalls for me, if necessary.

I apologize in advance if what you want here is to vent. I'm notorious for trying to problem solve when people just want an ear. But...your post has me thinking. I'm in the process of getting myself a case manager right now because of the sheer volume of things I cannot seem to be able to do for myself. In a lot of ways, I suck at adulting. Maybe a case manager could be helpful for you to. They can help with paperwork/tasks/so on or find you resources who can provide those helps. From my perspective, I see it as a way for me to retain my independence.

Really, I can relate. I don't understand forms and letters and that stuff overwhelms me and I start freaking out or shutting down. It's just too much. When life is smooth, I manage fine. But as soon as something comes up, I lose my footing. I can be responsible to. But it's not enough for me. I drop the ball in so many ways. I hope you can find a solution. This stuff is awful, to say the least. I wish you well and hope you can find some ways to take care of yourself in this.

I really don’t get along with my sister, she did toooo many damage to me, I wish things were different between us, but they not. You are lucky you get along with your sister.

Well, "getting along" with my sister is probably the wrong description. She's the only person in my family who showed love towards me, and as a kid I wished she was my mother, but I basically ghost her all the time. But if I need help, then she is the one I'll ask. I only communicate with her via email, because phonecalls are too stressful for me.

Maybe you can find a trustworthy female autist from your country on WP who'd assist you? Not all autists have the same problems, and many autists like to help people. If you need assistance in finding one, I'll assist you.

Thanks for wanting to help. Things seem to getting worse for me. I think I have Chronic Fatigue, I been getting up late. More things are worse. Since things are so worse for me, I deleted my dating profile.

sending hugs if you can use them. Taking good care of yourself and getting enough rest , eating and getting meds and exercise should always be first. You will find you have better emotional resources if you put yourself and you basic self care needs first. Emotions can be like a roller coaster, hope things are better for you by now.

If you have a social worker, I would talk to him/her.

Sorry you’re going through this.

You getting up late may be caused by depression. You may become depressed when there's lots of things you have to deal with, but you are unable to.

Very Sorry you. are going through what you are , right now, am hoping it gets better for you .

Yes I was going to say that. I sleep late when I get depressed. You certainly sound like you've got reason to be. Hope things get better for you. Sounds like you need someone on your side who can give you a bit of help to get everything under control again. I hope you can find someone.

These are all symptoms I had when massively depressed and anxious. I also convinced myself I might have chronic fatigue or something similar due to my various other chronic illnesses making that likely.

I would recommend talking to a doctor and getting advice regarding medication for depression and anxiety. You seem to be in a bad way right now but there is hope.

I would also recommend finding a social worker or citizens advice bureau.

If its as simple as reading a letter and telling what it says in plain English I could do that for you.

I will say I'm awful at chatting so unless you ask a question I won't know what to say and likely won't reply because it stresses me not knowing what is wanted. I will translate whatever these letters say into plain English though, just say hello and send them on and ask whatever questions you need to understand.

I don't have a legal educational background but I have worked jobs where legal interpretation is required so I understand the language used in these types of letters.This is not an offer of legal advice.

Good luck

btw, sometimes extended dehydration can bring on similiar symptoms in the short run., just a thought .