How do I stop feeling like my time is ''running out'' ?

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chris1989
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06 Apr 2024, 12:38 pm

I seem to think that not only am I doing this thing of trying to compare myself to others my age, having kids, getting married and so on. But I seem worry that doing it 10 years from now would be ''out of the question'' or ''too late'' to do it and a lot of people seem to do it still in their 20s and 30s and I seem determined not to have any regrets but because I'm still not currently in a relationship, I can't make that decision.

I also find myself worrying about health issues which I probably will never have in the future and thinking that the chances of dying are increasing more and more and people have told me before even during a crisis such as a pandemic that I'm only in my 30s, you do a lot of walking, don't smoke, eat a balanced diet and that I'm more likely to get killed in a car crash or be run over by a car and I don't seem to worry about that.



Camorra
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15 Apr 2024, 1:38 pm

I believe that I can relate to what you're writing about. I too compare myself to other people, mostly of my age, but also those younger than me, and it feels like I'm so far behind everyone else. I have achieved nothing in life and I don't think I ever will. I will always be behind everyone else and that makes me feel incredibly sh***y.

I also worry about my health, even though there probably isn't any reason to do so. I worry mostly about my heart. Like everytime my pulse quickens I'm afraid that I'm about to pass out or even die.



shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Apr 2024, 8:20 pm

Everyone is going to drop dead sooner or later

Everyone's time is "running out"



JamesW
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16 Apr 2024, 7:57 am

Life is not a competition. Never forget that.

Milestones do not tell you where you are. All they tell you is how far away the next place is.



chris1989
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28 May 2024, 5:08 pm

JamesW wrote:
Life is not a competition. Never forget that.

Milestones do not tell you where you are. All they tell you is how far away the next place is.


How come then do we see in shops, balloons and cards with 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and so on ?
If those are not also milestones then I don't know what is.



funeralxempire
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28 May 2024, 5:09 pm

chris1989 wrote:
JamesW wrote:
Life is not a competition. Never forget that.

Milestones do not tell you where you are. All they tell you is how far away the next place is.


How come then do we see in shops, balloons and cards with 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and so on ?
If those are not also milestones then I don't know what is.


Because we've decided some numbers are more special than others.


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JamesW
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29 May 2024, 9:17 am

chris1989 wrote:
JamesW wrote:
Life is not a competition. Never forget that.

Milestones do not tell you where you are. All they tell you is how far away the next place is.


How come then do we see in shops, balloons and cards with 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and so on ?
If those are not also milestones then I don't know what is.


Marketing.

'All I want for my birthday is another birthday!' -- Ian Dury



mgurak
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30 May 2024, 1:29 am

As far as relationships go, I got engaged for the first time when I was 54. It may be too late at her age for us to have kids of our own but I'm not sure I could handle being the father of a newborn at my age anyway. She has kids from a previous marriage so I'm looking forward to being a stepfather and hopefully one day a grandfather. Even if she didn't have children I love being an uncle. My nieces and nephews may not be my own children but I try to be a part of their lives.

Healthwise I used to think like you do. I was absolutely convinced in my 20s that I would die in my very early 50s. But here I am at 56. I'm on dialysis but I'm determined to live to a ripe old age anyway. Knowing that you will probably never have those health issues you worry about is actually a good first step. Now the trick is to take that knowledge and use it to help you stop worrying so much. It's not easy but I find that taking the time to examine those worries in light of the facts really does help. Do it as often as you need to. And be kind to yourself as you do that. Your worries are coming from somewhere. Acknowledge that they exist and don't put yourself down because of them.


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