Why does everyone is follow the same life pattern?

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chris1989
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16 Jun 2024, 7:17 am

I know there are other people out there don't exactly do the same things at the same time as other people e.g. starting uni and passing driving test at 18, leaving uni at 22, starting a long term relationship in early/mid 20s, get married and have kids in late 20s/early 30s. But I can't help but feel as though that it seems like that is what everyone does even though I know it is not entirely true.



Edna3362
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16 Jun 2024, 8:34 am

It's a cultural and norms expectation.

Also in which the current environment and communities, encourages and allows it all to happen.


People here don't get licenses at 18 unless they earn high enough to get a license let alone own a car. Because economic issues.

People here don't just marry at age 20 or something or have kids later.
Because difference in relationship dynamics.


I don't follow the patterns of people around me -- I avoid them.
Most patterns I've seen from others are usually undesirable one way or another.


If I follow the current trend, I would get a boyfriend before college, become a teenage mom out of sheer ignorance and impulse with or without marriage, get into debt that I cannot pay with years of work whether out of need or failed business ventures, being dependent on a single breadwinner who is not my spouse even if I shouldn't be financially dependent on that person and hindering their life...

Or switch lives with that breadwinner and be provider of said dependent/s that includes their spouse and kids, and become an enabler out of guilt or shame. No thanks.



If I were born in a different family who are obsessed with the idea of "normal" and all sorts of tradition, I'd be a doormat to some elderly nag who might've been my grandmother, my aunt, my own mother, or future mother in law.

And if I ended up in a so called liberated and modernized family who would nag me to get a career instead of marriage and children, I'd be crushed by sheer pressure and expectation, with more guilt and shame.



I learnt sometime long ago -- all of 'that' everyone thinks they all 'should' in life is all hearsays that no one can convince me of.

Many just so happened to be fed, persuaded and convinced of all that it's the right thing to do -- even of the situation doesn't allow for it, for any reasons.


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Highly_Autistic
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17 Jun 2024, 10:10 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
It's a cultural and norms expectation.

Also in which the current environment and communities, encourages and allows it all to happen.


People here don't get licenses at 18 unless they earn high enough to get a license let alone own a car. Because economic issues.

People here don't just marry at age 20 or something or have kids later.
Because difference in relationship dynamics.


I don't follow the patterns of people around me -- I avoid them.
Most patterns I've seen from others are usually undesirable one way or another.


If I follow the current trend, I would get a boyfriend before college, become a teenage mom out of sheer ignorance and impulse with or without marriage, get into debt that I cannot pay with years of work whether out of need or failed business ventures, being dependent on a single breadwinner who is not my spouse even if I shouldn't be financially dependent on that person and hindering their life...

Or switch lives with that breadwinner and be provider of said dependent/s that includes their spouse and kids, and become an enabler out of guilt or shame. No thanks.



If I were born in a different family who are obsessed with the idea of "normal" and all sorts of tradition, I'd be a doormat to some elderly nag who might've been my grandmother, my aunt, my own mother, or future mother in law.

And if I ended up in a so called liberated and modernized family who would nag me to get a career instead of marriage and children, I'd be crushed by sheer pressure and expectation, with more guilt and shame.



I learnt sometime long ago -- all of 'that' everyone thinks they all 'should' in life is all hearsays that no one can convince me of.

Many just so happened to be fed, persuaded and convinced of all that it's the right thing to do -- even of the situation doesn't allow for it, for any reasons.


What happens if we ignore and disobey cultural norms / expectations?



bee33
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17 Jun 2024, 10:13 pm

I haven't done any of those things except graduate from university at 21, and there was no advantage for me in that, since i never did work at a career or professional job. Just do whatever you want.



funeralxempire
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17 Jun 2024, 11:06 pm

It's not just humans that do this, it's typical of most animals.


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misha00
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18 Jun 2024, 9:18 am

people act in squarish ways.

what do I mean by squarish?

I haven't figured it out yet.

Have you?

that's my assignment for the weak, write an essay on what 'squarish ways' means.

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Bestiola
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18 Jun 2024, 9:26 am

People are typically programmed to fit in since there is safety in numbers and the hive mind.



Edna3362
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18 Jun 2024, 11:19 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
It's a cultural and norms expectation.

Also in which the current environment and communities, encourages and allows it all to happen.


People here don't get licenses at 18 unless they earn high enough to get a license let alone own a car. Because economic issues.

People here don't just marry at age 20 or something or have kids later.
Because difference in relationship dynamics.


I don't follow the patterns of people around me -- I avoid them.
Most patterns I've seen from others are usually undesirable one way or another.


If I follow the current trend, I would get a boyfriend before college, become a teenage mom out of sheer ignorance and impulse with or without marriage, get into debt that I cannot pay with years of work whether out of need or failed business ventures, being dependent on a single breadwinner who is not my spouse even if I shouldn't be financially dependent on that person and hindering their life...

Or switch lives with that breadwinner and be provider of said dependent/s that includes their spouse and kids, and become an enabler out of guilt or shame. No thanks.



If I were born in a different family who are obsessed with the idea of "normal" and all sorts of tradition, I'd be a doormat to some elderly nag who might've been my grandmother, my aunt, my own mother, or future mother in law.

And if I ended up in a so called liberated and modernized family who would nag me to get a career instead of marriage and children, I'd be crushed by sheer pressure and expectation, with more guilt and shame.



I learnt sometime long ago -- all of 'that' everyone thinks they all 'should' in life is all hearsays that no one can convince me of.

Many just so happened to be fed, persuaded and convinced of all that it's the right thing to do -- even of the situation doesn't allow for it, for any reasons.


What happens if we ignore and disobey cultural norms / expectations?

Individually?

If one knows what they're doing, they're likely the outliers -- they're the exceptional.
They will live in their own terms, they inspire change, or affording the choice to not play along with the rest, etc.

Their fate is their own. The attempted ways to induce shame or guilt onto them for their "noncompliance" is meaningless or the point why they'd chosen this in the first place.


If not, or cannot -- they're either at risk, brave, forced to adapt harder or too fed up.
When done wrong, they'd be a subject to either isolation and exclusion or be one of those persecuted individuals.
Their fate is simply subject to majority, not their own.
Which is more likely for most autistics with a very, very few exemptions.


Collectively?

If humans, collectively, know what they're doing, they will breakdown the old systems and they'll create a different norm from which everyone can improve themselves upon from what we currently have right now.

As it stands now, the current norms are... :roll: Slow on the uptake.
You know your histories, yes? That's just how slow it is.


If not, as it is now (humans don't know what the hell are they doing, collectively), it's chaos.
If not filled with panic or hedonism without restraint. :lol:

They will recreate another norm, no different from the last, as a way to be more collectively cohesive, because survival mechanisms and all that shite.

Ratio of perpetrators and victims are still the same, as long as humans, collectively, still couldn't get over those... Collective and generational hung ups. :?

This includes the carrot stick methods that most people are currently subjected to across the world... :lol:
In which the norm follows some upper management into some sort of hamster wheel, or whatever pattern or trend...

Because the majority of humans do not have a "choice" -- and are collectively in this form of survival mode. :|

Like one of those domestic victims unable to leave their abusers and had to please said abusers so they don't get whatever consequences?

Or that down to luck guy who cannot afford to quit or get fired from their job because their rent costs ¾ of their salary and their boss is a demanding miser who refused to give a raise?

"Trapped".

That's how I see them the majority, 'collectively'.

Anyone outside of that 'trap' either kept to themselves because that trap majority lies into benefits them, hands are tied regardless of their alignment, or suspicious that they'd be taken advantaged on as soon as they tried to help.


Nonetheless...

I have hope for humans and humanity someday, but...
... I don't like the way they made society and how their world runs.

At a core, they're all, collectively, still at this survival mode.

And like mental illness in an individual, one cannot just tell them to 'snap out of it' or 'get over it'.
Or tell individuals in a abusive or unhealthy relationships to 'just leave the relationship or quit addictions/abusive workplace or even stand up for themselves'.
Or hell, if they're the abusers, tell them to just 'stop' or 'reason with them'...


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Timid Espeon
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19 Jun 2024, 10:47 am

Cultural pressure plays a major role. People don't want to be left behind by their peers. They've been conditioned to believe that's how you're supposed to live. Sounds stressful to me to be honest.



Elyas Crimson
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20 Jun 2024, 10:42 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
It's a cultural and norms expectation.

Also in which the current environment and communities, encourages and allows it all to happen.


People here don't get licenses at 18 unless they earn high enough to get a license let alone own a car. Because economic issues.

People here don't just marry at age 20 or something or have kids later.
Because difference in relationship dynamics.


I don't follow the patterns of people around me -- I avoid them.
Most patterns I've seen from others are usually undesirable one way or another.


If I follow the current trend, I would get a boyfriend before college, become a teenage mom out of sheer ignorance and impulse with or without marriage, get into debt that I cannot pay with years of work whether out of need or failed business ventures, being dependent on a single breadwinner who is not my spouse even if I shouldn't be financially dependent on that person and hindering their life...

Or switch lives with that breadwinner and be provider of said dependent/s that includes their spouse and kids, and become an enabler out of guilt or shame. No thanks.



If I were born in a different family who are obsessed with the idea of "normal" and all sorts of tradition, I'd be a doormat to some elderly nag who might've been my grandmother, my aunt, my own mother, or future mother in law.

And if I ended up in a so called liberated and modernized family who would nag me to get a career instead of marriage and children, I'd be crushed by sheer pressure and expectation, with more guilt and shame.



I learnt sometime long ago -- all of 'that' everyone thinks they all 'should' in life is all hearsays that no one can convince me of.

Many just so happened to be fed, persuaded and convinced of all that it's the right thing to do -- even of the situation doesn't allow for it, for any reasons.


What happens if we ignore and disobey cultural norms / expectations?



If I may, that is a rather loaded question. :oops: Norms and expectations are different to everyone, and are part of the fabric of our society as much as laws or books. Living without a society in its totality sounds pretty terrible to me- I enjoy the trapping of communication and collective research. :D

I’m interested though, what is your opinion on the matter?