You can't win with NTs!

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I'm not allowed to be Aspie. I'm not allowed to be NT. I'm not allowed to do the normal things people do, for example join in a conversation, yet if others join in it's OK.

Anyone else feel like this?

You mean when NTs tell you to speak up more. However when you do, you break so many social graces they tell you to hold back?

Nah. No idea what you're talking about.

I get weird looks if I try to change the topic of a group of people, but other people seem to be able to change the topic with ease. It is very frustrating ...

Yes, Yes and Yes...

I think this is more with a**holes than with NTs...but most people are a**holes, so yeah.

NTs are always provoking me to talk more. But when I do, it's usually something that upsets them or gives them reason to laugh at me forever.

So yeah, I know all about the improbability of socially pleasing the NT world.

It's the story of my life. People tell me I'm too quiet & need to talk more & then they get mad because I'm being rude & offensive when I do talk. I cant win for losing. It's worse when I have to go to a social thing with my family like a wedding/funeral ect. My mom gives me this big speech before we get there about how I need to talk to people & on the way home she usually b!tches about how I was unfriendly & impolite. She blamed me for not being able to go places to socialize sense I was very little

Yeh but even when I'm not really ''breaking the rules'' of any social interaction in particular. I always know damn well that if another person done exactly the same thing as I had done, it would be all right for them. But when I do it, oh dear! The story is different. Like my brother. If I laugh loudly (because I don't laugh excessively very often, when I do laugh excessively it comes out loud), everyone's like, ''ssshhhh!'' (even though I see other people roaring with laughter louder than I ever do), but if my brother yawns really really loudly (louder than needed and is actually more annoying than someone laughing sociably), nobody says anything. And my brother really yawns so loud, it drowns out every other noise you can hear, and there's no need for it. I'd rather somebody laughing loudly than yawning loudly, because yawning doesn't need to make a sound, whereas laughing obviously does.

Also, none of my family like dogs except for my uncle, but when my uncle brings his dog over to one of our houses, nobody says anything or even shows any signs that they're irritated that he's brought a dog round. But (although I haven't tried it), if that was me bringing a dog round somebody's house, oh dear! I would never hear the end of it.

I did in high school and sometimes I still feel that way. I will never forget this one. My ignorant office clerk at my old job. He'd get mad at me when I would try and clarify and asking questions so I stopped doing it and would try and figure it out on my own. Then he would tell me if I don't understand, just ask.

I had realized this year you can't win. It's like they can't make up their minds. They teach you something and then act like it's all wrong when you do it. Like I was taught as a child to say my sorry and so I started to a lot at age ten to be nice and people started to get irritated with me and mom started telling me don't apologize and no need to say sorry. I cut back and then my ex pointed out I don't ever apologize and I don't do it enough (he was aspie too). When I was 19, mom finally told me to not apologize if I am not sorry for the same things I was taught to apologize for and that autistic people online are correct, why apologize if you don't mean it. That also ticked me off because I was taught to do it and now it's wrong and it's apparently a fake apology.

I am intelligent and I need not be in a conversation all the time although I do feel wanting to communicate my ideas or discuss science. There are few good NTs who respect me for my talent in science. Please find a special interest, become expert in them and then you will have something to say, that is on that interest, which few people, who share that interest, would be wanting to listen to you. Also, try to have those people as your friends who have these two qualities that is soft nature, forgiving etc and share your interest very strongly.

Personally, I've given up on some family members. I just accept that I will be blamed, moaned at, and mocked by them and then, irritatingly, told how loved I am and that they would be ecstatic if I came home again.

I also apologise a lot and get accused of using it too often. When I say it, though, I usually mean it. I don't like people being angry with me or hating me for something that I can't change. Whenever I say it, I wish it wasn't necessary. I just wish that I wasn't me.

If people are having a conversation and you KNOW your opinion will not go over well and they INSIST you speak up - then get all bent because you disagree with them. Yeah... why bother. My conversations and discussions are all characterized as 'arguments' anyway. It's safer to just shut up.

U can never ever win with some people.

right on. i think this represents my own goddam life well. yet somehow i manage to get popular with nt's cuz i have variety.

Although I do share a lot of things in common with NTs (in other words, I do typically have a lot of NT traits too), but there are still the typical Aspie traits there what I could do without. It's like the social thing. Every time I'm in a group, I never seem to get a word in. All the other people seem to get a turn to speak and they come out with these long ''stories'', and I only manage to throw in a few words, if that. I get one or two people glance at me while I say something, if I'm lucky, but then I find that somebody else is talking just as I've begun - even though I managed to talk in the little gap first. Then if I don't speak, everyone soon turns round and says, ''you're quiet!'' You can't win!

What's the point of being human (the most social creatures on the planet) when you struggle with being social? It's like being born a wild lion who struggle to hunt for food.
Being social is the only way to live through this life, even if you've got no money - all NTs know that sociability comes first, and so if you ain't got the social knack, your life is completely screwed (unless you're clever, but even then NTs would rather be with someone with more social skills than somebody with 0 social confidence but with lots of intelligence).

All NT is a**holes do with it. Think about democracy and capitalism made you a**hole like them

SIEG HEIL