Extermely depressed, +8 month isolation taking toll

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I love all of Michael W Smith,

He is awesome and was my one of my bands as a teen, what has happened to such innocence I wonder? Life is really only worth living as a child. I love my stuffed dog by the way, way better then people, I highly recommend it.

Lets rock out and hope Gods got some mercy to give,

We need to live life "as a child".

Or as a cat.

I watch my cat stretch out in the sun.
Sleep blissfully.
Play unselfconsciously.
Eat unreservedly.
Purr contendedly.
And I think, "I want to be a cat."

Sounds good to me, I think I am going to draw with my stuffed dog.

I actually feel better, why complicate life? Just take it for what it is.

Crying feels good with my dog in this context,

Take life as it is.
Exactment.

Not to mention my cat is so cuuuute!!

Thinking about the fact I can't tell if I am worse or the people around me are worse, I have been abused and I have enjoyed my fair share of abusing. I also can't tell that I care, God said this was to be the state of the end. Better wait and see what else he says is true I suppose. Not much to lose at this point and personally I am ready for the possibility of great things.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

You know today has been particularly hard for me but I am hanging in there, feel horrible today. I think I am going to read some more bible I started strong but have not been so faithful.

^^^you're a better man than i.

I feel guilty, I don't feel good and I ordered a pizza with all the trimming, complete with bread sticks and root beer. I don't have that kinda of money but its not doing anything in saving I guess and it felt good.

you are fortunate to be young and still have the metabolism to eat such without consequence.

I wouldn't have gotten the root beer-----but all the other stuff!! ! Good for you, Sir! You deserve it!

We are going party like its 1999, gaming with pizza does no harm.

Google Hollywood Undead's Party By Myself, can't post cause of language but thats what tonight is.

party hearty!

I like dark art, you think I would love life, maybe it hits too close to home? I can't tell but I know this is what I am left with. I can put forth effort just to burn everything I grow to love or I can just give up and have nothing.