conundrum
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22 Jul 2010, 10:05 pm
23 Jul 2010, 7:38 am
conundrum
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Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns
23 Jul 2010, 7:40 pm
Erisad,
Yes, the most important thing is graduating. No question.
Does your school do a work-study program or offer on-campus jobs? If so, see if there are any you could manage part-time--you could put some money aside.
In the meantime, talk with people you get along with about your situation (you don't have to go into too much detail--just say that you'd like to hold onto the freedom you've found since you've been at college and it would be great if you could find someone to share an apartment with) and see if anyone might be willing.
Regarding your mom: at some point, you're going to have to confront her behavior. Are there any other people in your life you could talk to first (another family member, family friend, etc.) who might be able to help you talk with her in an "adult" fashion (that is, help her to see that you ARE an adult and are therefore worthy of respect?).
She probably worries about you WAY too much and carries a bit of guilt about your "condition." The pills were her way of trying to control a situation she couldn't do anything about. (I think I said something like this in an earlier post here--sorry).
I wish I could be of more help. It sounds like you've gained some independence at college and don't want to lose that. I don't blame you. I hope you can find some way of holding on to it.
Your mom isn't a bad person (I know I don't need to tell you that)--just misguided, and may feel like she's "failed" in some way. When you and she can finally talk in that "adult" fashion, I hope that can be addressed. It'll be a sore point, and she may get defensive, which is why I suggested having a "referee/mediator" if possible.
I hope this helps somewhat. Take care, and good luck with the rest of your classes. 
23 Jul 2010, 9:17 pm
Yes, the most important thing is graduating. No question.
Does your school do a work-study program or offer on-campus jobs? If so, see if there are any you could manage part-time--you could put some money aside.
In the meantime, talk with people you get along with about your situation (you don't have to go into too much detail--just say that you'd like to hold onto the freedom you've found since you've been at college and it would be great if you could find someone to share an apartment with) and see if anyone might be willing.
Regarding your mom: at some point, you're going to have to confront her behavior. Are there any other people in your life you could talk to first (another family member, family friend, etc.) who might be able to help you talk with her in an "adult" fashion (that is, help her to see that you ARE an adult and are therefore worthy of respect?).
She probably worries about you WAY too much and carries a bit of guilt about your "condition." The pills were her way of trying to control a situation she couldn't do anything about. (I think I said something like this in an earlier post here--sorry).
I wish I could be of more help. It sounds like you've gained some independence at college and don't want to lose that. I don't blame you. I hope you can find some way of holding on to it.
Your mom isn't a bad person (I know I don't need to tell you that)--just misguided, and may feel like she's "failed" in some way. When you and she can finally talk in that "adult" fashion, I hope that can be addressed. It'll be a sore point, and she may get defensive, which is why I suggested having a "referee/mediator" if possible.
I hope this helps somewhat. Take care, and good luck with the rest of your classes.
There are on-campus jobs but I feel like I should focus on my studies more. Seeing as my old roommate was a senior and all the work that she had to do, I don't think I'll have much time. Also, I'll be doing an internship in the spring so maybe that will lead to something.
I could have my brother or grandmother be a mediator. They live with us and see how we interact everyday. Honestly, I'm afraid to talk to her about this now. I'm afraid that she'll cut off a lot more support if I do. I still need her right now for financial support, transportation and stuff like that. I feel like I'll be jumping the gun if I act on it too soon but I still don't like how she treats me sometimes.
I'll do the best that I can. I just don't want to start a huge family feud so soon to me going back to school. D:
Thank you for all your help.
conundrum
Veteran
Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns
23 Jul 2010, 10:17 pm
You're very welcome, Erisad.
And you're right--don't jump the gun. This is all just stuff to consider for now.
Good luck with the rest of your studies. Take care.
Feel free to PM me if you want to, btw.
