my mom killed herself today.

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{{awkward aspie hugs}}

Im sorry to hear about it.


Ill try to send you a pm when I have some more time.

I'm very sorry to hear this (((hyperlexian)))

May she go to a better place. May you not suffer.

I am so sorry to hear this news.

I take comfort that you can post your
greif here.

I am off walking to one of the highest
points in London and will be thinking
of you and your family sending you my love
as I look over the snow covered city.

I do not know what shocked me more, the news about your mum's suicide or the calm, rational way you explained and responded to it.
how many times before this one time, when you could not stop her, must you and your sisters have gone through this heart wrenching pain?
your gentle, kind and accepting way of speaking of your mum's struggle moved me very much.
i wish you all the strength and support you need.
cyberhugs (((((( ))))).

So very sorry (((((hyperlexion)))) from the Lab Pet

Here's a wildflower for you, in her memory

I understand that extreme depression is tremendously hard to deal with.

You have shown great grace and courage.

I'm sorry you're suffering. You have my sympathies.

awwwwh, i'm sorry =(

*hugs*

I am very sorry to hear about this, but it is a good thing that you do not blame yourself for it. From what you write, I think you have done what you could to prevent it. You mentioned your siblings though and maybe they need to be reminded of that fact as well. I think it is important that they do not blame themselves either, not for something that obviously could not be averted but merely postponed in this specific case.

I hope all of you make it through the next days all right and that you find a way to go on with your lives.

thanks everyone.

it was a very, very slow-motion train wreck. i am writing her a letter and telling her how i feel - the good and the bad. i think that composing that letter will help me to express what i need to.

she was upset with both me and my sisters, partly because she thought we did not forgive her for her mistakes. i had healed from those events that i could, but part of my continued wellness depended on not being so close to her anymore so that i could avoid getting drawn into the dysfunction of our unhealthy relationship.

for a few years i lived physically far away, then when i moved back to the same city i was mentally far away. in order to be emotionally stable and sane for myself and for my husband and daughter, i had to maintain a certain amount of distance.

i don't feel guilty about it, because i did what i needed to do in order to function. i had been devastated by her actions and had been grieving over her for many years. i spent many hours with therapists trying to cope (at one point it was 3 different therapists in one week). our lives used to be entwined and tied together, but she cut the ties one by one and i could not allow the remaining strings to pull me down to that dark and barren place.

one of my sisters lives in the city with me, and the other one is flying in today or tomorrow. one of my sisters is very ill, so i am trying to give her the support i can. i don't want to go into details right now, but suffice it to say that she has a very bad illness.

we are taking care of paperwork and stuff today. she left behind a cat, which she wants my daughter to have. i think my daughter will accept the cat. the cat is the only item that was specifically left to anyone.

thanks for listening. it means a lot to me that people are so kind. i will check in later.

Oh hyper, my heart is breaking for you. I lost my mom 14.5 years ago, so I understand some of what you're going through.

It sounds like you're in a pretty good place now, but don't be surprised if that feeling ebbs and flows. You can go through a whole range of emotions
at a time like this. It might help you to look into how caregivers of parents with terminal illnesses describe the way they process grief. Cause really, it sounds like that's what your mom had, and children in your situation experience so much stress over the course of the illness...it works its way out in different ways when the parent passes.

I'm so sorry for your loss, hon. I hope you and your sisters can support each other. I think about my mom every day, but with love and affection...the pain has healed. It does heal. Let me know if I can do anything for you, ok?

Sorry to hear about that Hyperlexian. Reading your account of things it sounds like in some respects you had began a mourning processes already and I guess I can understand that through dealing with the mental health issues of family members and how it impacts on your own emotional health and wellbeing. I guess given your life history that you've expressed on here already it explains your life history in a more relevant context.

Regardless of the past losing a parent is probably one of those facts of life you have to eventually be prepared to face at some point in your adult life, though I think you are being quite stoic at the moment im sure when your family group togeother you guys will have a moment of sharing grief and emotions in private and hopefully you'l be able to move on from those events and carry on with the rest of your life that is yours to live.

I'm so sorry, Hyperlexian. My mother killed herself twenty years ago, and I really do know how it feels. Right now you're probably numb, and holding it all together, but as previous posters have said, feelings will ebb and flow. Don't blame yourself or feel bad... I know you say that you know better, and so did I, but sometimes it can overwhelm you. Blaming others for her misery was a symptom of her illness... I'm glad that you don't take it to heart.

I'll be praying for you and your sisters. I hope you're not offended. Look after yourself. We'll all be checking this thread to see how you're doing. (hugs)

I'm so sorry to hear that.

my deepest condolences.

I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and everyone in your family.

Such sad news -my heart goes out to you.....