Its my lfe that hurts me most

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I like going to concerts, listening to music, chilling with people who are intresting to talk to, alcohol and other mind altering substances....I don't really have much of a passion for much of anything. I am in college right now and my psychology class is pretty intresting but I don't feel like I am capable of getting a full degree in psychology......and even if I did i would have nothing to do with it.

Ya ever tried making the music? It sounds like you'd be suited to that life style. But keep the psychology, you can do a lot with that. And you've gotten into college, don't quit yet. You have no idea what a privilege it is. I can't go myself, my family is middle-middle class. Not to mention my grades suck. See it through to the end, then decide what you want. At least with a college degree you can do more.

I did try playing bass, did not get very far because I did not have the right amount of motivation I guess.....I have taken up writing occasionally like stuff that could be used for poems or song lyrics but I have not put much into that, it is something though. i really don't want to be in college that terribly much but it seems its the only option if i want to find a job and well at the moment money left over from the grants and loans gives me money to live on. My family is below middle class........and I've already failed college once.

a job is easier than college, hands down.

Does college drain you?

lets put it this way working and going to college are both difficult for me, college is the least difficult but still very difficult....not because I lack the intelligence but because I lack the nessisary focus and motivation.

'
'Yeah, and I'm only in three classes so I feel pretty pathetic.

i never had the drive for college - at least at work i can do things at my own pace and the people are all lovely and accept me.
although, i doubt a lot of jobs are as chilled out as mine.

Don't feel pathetic. If it drains you, it drains you. College isn't for everyone, especially autistics.

Your motivation has to come from you, however. I know it'll be hard but try to feel motivated. Keep trying. Don't just quit because it's not benefitting you fast enough, these things take time.

Last edited by Jonsi on 19 Feb 2011, 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well yeah that would be the issue, any job I've ever had I end up being too slow, I don't act right apparently(due to lack of social skills) so yeah working is pretty stressfull.....even when I try and do well.

Yeah, at my old job it was so damn stressful because i couldn't keep up with the pace.
And at college - it was worse, broke down every day. Too many immature people.

Did you quit these jobs? @ sweetleaf.

I ain't quittin' on you yet!

I have tried, and sometimes it works for a little while untill the depression kicks in again.....I just wish i could get away from my family I would rather end up in a mental institution then having to be partially dependent on my mom who I cant even be open about my true self with. Hell I would rather end up on the streets dying of a drug overdose then have to pretend to be someone I'm not around family.

See, ya can't quit just 'cause you feel depressed. The only time you should ever quit is when you're dead.

As for your family, ignore them 'til you can leave 'em if you don't like them so much. :\

Nope was indirectly fired by the first one(they just felt sorry for me so did not want to word it that way), The second one was a college work study job and since its part of financial aid they could not fire me but probably would have if they where the ones paying me. ( I mean lets face it i was not self directed, quick or socially capable enough for the job). The last one was just a temporary job which I still managed to get fired from except they did not say that because they figured they could just play it off as having run out of work for me........well I found out from family members that I was technically fired but that the employers felt too sorry for me to say so.

Not only does it bother me that I can't keep a job......but the fact that apparently the fact that i am 'a bit off' is very obvious once people are around me for more then 10 minutes.

Your employers were dicks. Can't change that. Have you tried getting a job through human resources?