waiting to die

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When my son is old enough to be on his own, unless he gives me grandchildren to dote over and spoil, ill most likely go back to traveling except go global, you might see me then. if/when I die, I had rather it be somewhere where its beautiful, mountains, beaches, etc. where I am free.

"But I can't go in to it here because it's illegal" I can understand actions being illegal, but is it illegal to use words to describe an action?.

I don't think so, but I'd rather keep it to myself anyway.

Like you say though, old age is quite a way off for me, things might change before then.

I've got a bit longer than you old codgers.

My current project at self-entertainment is that of sculpting a canoe from a length of tree trunk! I might or might not ever get it completed, but at least it will always float as long as I do not cut too much from the inside.


Chronic stress, anxiety, depression and fatigue were killing me in the cardiac department until just a few weeks ago after a cardiologist told me I needed CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Grafts) and I switched to an oil-free plant-based diet almost immediately after refusing the scalpel. If you can find a bit of research interesting, maybe check it out:
http://www.choose-healthy-eating-for-li ... -diet.html
https://www.google.com/search?q=cardiac+diet

At least for me, the results so far are absolutely amazing.

Since the beginning of the year I have changed my diet greatly. I used to eat steak and burgers a lot, now I eat only salmon and tuna. I am slowly getting more vegetables into my diet and I have not cooked with anything but coconut and olive oil for over a year now. I eat a lot of soy based food also (fermented). I wont have another appoint with primary care doctor until june and I am anxious to see my labs because my blood pressure has decreased so much that I am lightheaded sometimes. I call the doctor office and tell them and they say it is because my body is so accustomed to running high for so many years. They seem ecstatic about the low BP readings but I will still feel better when I can see my labs.

Thank you.

I too am just waiting to die. Its odd our nature to live, it battles with my logic to die. for the forseeable future it wins but I know eventually It'll lose and I'll be free. or something happens in the USA which seems to be leading towards and I'll die by somenone else s hand

death scares me also though. so its a complex matter, so I wait and watch how others wait for fun things: kids, degrees, holidays, anniversaries etc . but at least I don't think about as much as i use to like driving out to the woods and just doing it. Tried to cut myself year ago, but the pain, so I couldn't mind you it wasn't to kill I just wanted to punish me, so i did small burns instead.

sorry op. just got me thinking.

I have the same things going on, and my BP readings are so much lower than ever that they sometimes scare me. On the other hand, however, sometimes my BP suddenly shoots up and I think that is related to anxiety even though I am not having a panic attack. So, I may have to go talk with the doc about that one since I have yet to find a med regimen where my BP remains fairly steady.


I do not fear death, but I sure do want it to not hurt.


Maybe work at getting rid of the idea of being your own judge, jury and executioner. Leave all of that where it belongs. I think it is almost funny how some religions use the idea of punishment to manipulate people, then turn around and tell the same people to forgive themselves. Self-gratification never resolves anything.