Controlling/Very Negative Mother

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TARDIScompanion:
My mom has made significant progress over the years. A lot of it has to do with the cummulative effect. As in she's been doing it my entire life. I moved out in 2011 and had three roommates. I've been living independently with no roommate in my own apartment since 2012. However, I've had a roommate since last month to cover rent.

Chapstan:
I agree my parents are a large part of why I am successful. It is definently empty nest stuff. My brother moved out in 2007. As for me see above. I think my mom is lost, she spent her life taking care of my brother and me, especially me. She's having to find her own path. My dad is the opposite, calm controlled, logical, and down to earth. He is my mom's stabilizer and mediater for my mom and me. He has handled the empty nest stuff really well. He treats me like an adult though he still worries. My brother and I don't want biological kids and our parents agree. There is a chance my brother will adopt. I'll probably never do kids. My parents have two fur grandkids.

Side note: professionals have told my mom that I am a small part of her issues, otherwise it's her

ahm an I'm so tired right now, I accidentally replied to this in a PM. I'm so sorry kindle. FAIL.

anyway, more importantly, that is so good to hear, that you have doctors on your side. I tried to get one (well, the state evaluator for Asperger's, sorry) on my side nad they called me paranoid, after I'd just explained to them that one of hte many reasons besides hypersensitive nerves, possible misophonia, processing deficit and severe introversion that I am constantly stressed is because my dad screams and my mother has magickal thoughts or whatever they call it. She's always obsessing about all this stuff, like how thieves will break into the house if we leave the windows open and checks the stove fifty times (I'm exaggerating for emphasis) before we leave the house and how she likes to plot weird games against dad. and has admitted it several times... talks bout aliens constantly (I think the possibility is reasonable, but until I see one, no takers) but according to the state evaluator, I'm apparently the paranoid one. Maybe I should tell them about how both my parents recently mentioned the possible need to 'wrap their debit cards in aluminum foil' to block some kind of card reader signal, I think they said (my dad works for Honeywell)... I know there's an engineering/physics premise for that, but damn, you know? I don't even care. it's silly to me. I have enough stress without worrying about stuff like that too like they do.

man, it's always godo to hear about somebody going ot a doctor and BEING HEARD instead of that doctor or evaluator doing like this one evaluator did with me.

I cannot express how pleased I am that YOu got OUT. YOU GO GIRL!

TARDIScompanion:
Thanks for the encouragement. It took a lot to get where I am. I'm hoping that going to New York for grad school fall semester 2016 will be the escape I need. Just like going to Oklahoma was for my brother.

Keep working on things with your parents. Seperate yourself; find your own path. I can understand the weird thought and beliefs to some extent. My grandma, my mom's mom, was like that though to a lesser degree. She believed in conspiracy theories and listened to midnight talk shows. She believed lightening creates stars. Is there anyway for you to live independently? Is there a program that can help you develop life skills? I did a program that provided services and housing. It was a stepping stone to full independent living. Is there something like that where you live?

that's the thing...I can't work... I tried. my nerves made me so sick I got the flu and almost passed out form stress and flu-stuff. That's what happens whenever I try to work. iw as awesome at my job though, I am incredibly neurotic from years of stress, so I made sure I was good. baHA! however, I get quietly hysterical whenever I am alone for too long... it's ridiculous. I've done everything in my power (mental techniques, forcing it, all sorts of stuff) to change that... but no go. I can't figure out where to go around here, or eve nif I can step out the doorfo r that last time... or even if I need to. I am following a plan, but it's slow going, and I'm not there yet wehre I can take that step. I am unable to think in certain ways, and that makes it difficult to figure out what to do. I am an analyzer by nature, not an initiator... so I'm.. sort of... working within myselfright now. And as I change, so too do they. I just hope I'm doing it the right way, that i'm not doing something bad. it's hard to discern that, when you do that self-work stuff sometimes.

again, I thank you, and I wish yo ual lthe best in your life, and as a fellow human, I am so proud of you for taking all those steps that you tookand are continuing to take!

First off, take my advice regarding working with relatives. IT ALMOST ALWAYS ENDS IN FAILURE! When I graduated from college 35 years ago, I worked with Dad in the same convenience store. From day one, it was World War III. For example, Someone decides to call in sick, just because they got drunk the night before. That day was my scheduled day off. I made plans for that day. Guess who had to cancel those plan on pain of termination and homelessness? If you answered yours truly, yer right. Ditto with having to work a double shift at the last minute, because this same person decided she wanted the night off in order to party, get drunk and get laid. It got to the point that Dad's supervisor ended up firing me, as she, as well as dad, said I had an attitude problem. (Back in those days, I was an SOB. You'd be an SOB too if you had to forego your special interest, as well as cancel all your plans to make your superiors happy. I've said it in the past, and I'll say it again, nobody's happy unless they're making me miserable. That attitude will probably never change, since I have a roommate that I'd dearly love to exterminate, or at least force him to move elsewhere.