Rejection isn't so bad

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Well excuse me for interacting with people in the real world

Honestly, I get the impression that you might be putting yourself into quandaries because of some unconscious motivation.

You seem like quite a suitable person for a man.

I bet we'd have a great time at a decent bowling establishment.

Unconscious motivation?

I'm not sure, of course.

I'm thinking maybe, if a guy shows interest, and that you have a camaraderie, that you might think it's "too good to be true."

Maybe you're skeptical about a person who treats you well...for you might think there's an ulterior motive.

I've seen this happen time and again.

I also sense that you don't like it "too easy" in general---that you find if there's a "struggle" that there's more substance than when there's "not a struggle." That you feel that a man is more substantial if you have to struggle to understand him. That you also enjoy a good debate, and that you find men who don't have strong opinions to be "wishy washy."

I can't see any other reason for this. Because you seem pretty reasonable. You write well. You make sense when you write. You're just a pretty reasonable person, I have found, since I've "known" you here for about 2 1/2 years or so.

Oh! I think you've sussed me out.

This last guy was too good to be true though.

It just didn't work out. I liked him more than anyone. He's clever enough to have a good deep conversation with, but also very sweet and although serious at times also very silly. And I love his family too. It's really difficult to walk away, but he doesn't want me, so what else can I do.

I hope the man comes around soon. I really do. You've met his family. He seems like a nice guy. And you really like him. And I feel he might be losing out by not seeing you.

But I would also seek other people. I know it will be difficult to find a person who meets your good friend's standards.

But for your future happiness, I believe you might have to let this go---until he shows interest again.

But I know it's difficult to "let go." Because I sense you see the potential should everything be consummated.

No, he's not going to come round. This is over. My heart is broken

I just need time to heal. Eventually I'll stop crying.

Broken, but not irreparably so.

Hugs

Based on the way you talk about him here.
You worship him. You put him on a pedestal.

For the future, you have to prevent yourself going into this direction while liking a guy before entering into relationship with him because it will break you hard every time if it doesn't work. This kind of love should grow during a relationship, not before it.

Rejection always sucks, it strikes self-esteem badly, but it sucks 100 folds if it's from someone you already head over heels with him.

It's better in the future to rule out a guy quickly if he doesn't show am obvious sign back (ie. never initiating messages with you) or doesn't ask you out, and to focus on the next, don't waste your time ; in my experience, falling into limerence with one is never good and big waste of time.

You don't understand my circle
It's so small that there are only a few available guys and if this one doesn't like you. There may never be a next. My life isn't like your life.

Actually I don't have much of a social circle despite living in an overpopulated city, I barely have a social life. I only hang out with my lady friend regularly, and the other few friends who I see once in a while are all males.

and I don't belong to any religious organization or church, I am agnostic-atheist, I am an extreme rarity case here - finding people faith-wise compatible with me is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Knee jerk defence reflex. There Boo is right I got too involved emotionally with little encouragement... Although I wouldn't say there was no encouragement.