Rants

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^why?

I just felt the same on that stuff as I did after some good tea, minus all the energy & most if not all my feeling.

Those drugs get really scary. When you know what they are they can be overcome though.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I am getting -

Ideas.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

What a patronising b***h that so called health professional is. You weren't even going to offer me physio until I asked. So wish I had enough money to go privately, at least I might be treated with a bit of damn respect!!

First, I need to share a little bit of background information: My dad has two biological kids (my half brother and sister, this is the sister that takes care of me a lot) with his high school/college girlfriend that he broke up with probably about 30 years ago. My mom has only one biological child (me) and two kids she adopted that are 13 and 5. She and my father were together when they were adopted. My house currently consists of me, my mom, my half sister, Amy, my younger sister Teagan, and little brother Aiden as well as four cats, two dogs, and Teagan's new guinea pig, Spot

Anyways, my mom and dad split up about two years ago and my dad divides his time between a house he shares in the city with two of his friends and the couch of our house. My mom lets him stay because she feels sorry for him and he does do things like cut the grass and other things like that that she hates doing. He refuses to get his own place. He claims it is because of me, Teagan, and Aiden (my little sister and brother). However, I think that is an excuse because he never spends time with us. My mom and Amy (his biological daughter) are furious with him because he is hoarding a ton of junk (car parts, old magazines and newspapers, and just other useless stuff that should probably get recycled or thrown out). This week, I had surgery and the doctor said I can't do any lifting, so Teagan has been helping me out with things like laundry and taking care of our pets. We are also babysitting my cousin's dog, Elsie, and she is helping me with her too. I'm planning on taking her to a movie or something when I'm better to thank her for her awesomeness. My dad however, is calling me "lazy" and a bunch of other words I will not repeat. He is saying I'm "useless" because I'm struggling right now to keep a job. He is calling me "the pig", so of course, my impressionable little brother makes oinking sounds at me I'm taking pastry arts courses this summer and going to college again in the fall for my second year. I'm really trying and I'm glad my mom is happy. The thing is, Amy is also recently unemployed and she can do no wrong in his eyes. Maybe it is because she is his oldest, but he puts her on a pedestal. He is a tad hypocritical, I think. Lately, I have been paying for her cell phone, car insurance, gasoline, and even her food. I rarely drive due to anxiety (which I am trying to work on), so I gave her my Hyundai Sonata (which is in great shape and only a few years old) and she gave me her old, rusty minivan (that won't start, but my cousin is fixing it in exchange for watching Elsie) for when I do drive. I didn't ask for anything except for to tag along when she goes places like Walmart or the grocery store, so I can buy the things I need. I don't make a lot of money, I just earn cash here and there for dogsitting and helping my neighbor with chores. I feel like she is taking advantage of me, but at the same time I wonder if she really is because she does stuff for me too. Maybe it works out in the end. I don't know.

Basically (this is long and I apologize because I'm sure it is hard to follow and I'm just complaining at this point), my mom ended things with my dad for a reason. The reason was because he was and still is unsupportive of 3/5ths of his children (my older brother is perfect too, in his eyes. He's married and his wife just had a baby). The things he says hurt and I have started cutting again. He saw my scars when I was wearing shorts the other day and said "For crying out loud, Gwen, this is why no one likes you!" I know we can't turn back time, but I miss the old days where he would take me to McDonald's as a kid and the car shows that his cars were in. We had some good times, but I guess I just need to accept that things are different now. I miss the man he used to be.

Long story short, I love my family, even with all their imperfections, and am grateful for all of them. I just needed to vent. Lastly, I will end with a few positives... I made the Dean's List for the last semester and my GPA is the highest it has ever been. I'm looking forward to taking Microbiology and Sign Language this fall too

I was raised in the labs of a MolBio Phd. She manages research orgs. now - I'm looking to get into some bio-sciences either in genomics - informatically - or grid computing. By all means run some questions by me & I'll see what I can find.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Oh no, Rafa-not another early round loss! You were doing so well, too. Okay, Roger, you better win this now!

How can you be numb and have pain at the same time?

What is the quickest way to die that doesn't look like you're killing yourself?

i don't know who this woman is. i don't know what shes talking about. google says she was born in 1961 and i would would would ughhh ya know... i mean look at those arms


i would make her very happy 24 hours a day non-stop

i am going to clean and sweep another room where the a/c is placed. i cannot handle the heat anymore.
i just hope i don't find a lizard there or something.