At what point do you just say **** it?

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I've had a headache for close to two years straight

I've had terrible problems with sleep, both getting enough at night, and staying awake during the day, for a large portion of my life. Last night was only two and a half hours.

I'm facing the very real possibility of becoming homeless soon.

I've already resigned myself to the impossibility of ever finding a girlfriend, or even just regular friends.

The longest I've held a job, ever, was 10 months. At the end of that time, I was completely falling apart.

My brother died last year.

I used to be extremely smart. Master's degree smart. Now, less than two years after finishing the program, I'm lucky to be able to do basic math. I'm having trouble with freaking two digit ADDITION these days... and I even did a ****ing math major in undergrad.

I'm not finding the capacity to think much at all.

I've been depressed my entire life, and chemical treatments have been disastrous

My health is completely falling apart.


I don't do drugs (ever), smoke (ever), stopped caffeine and alcohol (and never consumed much of either), try to exercise (VERY hard when the sleep disorder is acting up, often skipped), and eat healthily.

I also try to go to social events as often as I can (when not prevented by exhaustion and illness), but I often have to flat-out leave because I'm too tired. When I don't have to leave, I'm too tired to interact a lot of the time, and on the occasions when I'm not too tired, I'm just simply at a loss on what to say or how to interact... a whole damn lot of conditions for me to even start working with the AS problems.

I hope you don't think this is a stupid reply but I find the simplest answers work the best. I would suggest to you eating healthy food and some exercise. Make yourself take a walk or ride a bike every morning. If you don't exercise, at first you'll think walking or riding sucks but it will grow on you in a few weeks. If you eat a lot of fast food it will screw with your emotions. (There is just something not right about eating a hamburger that cost $1) One nice thing about this advise is it does not cost you any money (the food part will actually save you money). It also gives you something to look forward to and your doing something to improve yourself. Hope this helps. This is what helped pull me out of deep depression.

The lack of sleep and the headaches are your biggest concerns. You can't fix anything else till you fix those. You may have a physical problem, and not a mental one. Get checked out by a doctor, head to toe. And if he or she doesn't think there's anything to be done, try another one. Some doctors are better than others, and they're not always right.

I can completely relate to what you're saying. I have two master's degrees, and under stress I cannot even count change. I haven't worked a job more than a year and I'm 40. The stress just gets to me.

Don't give up. I'm on disability now, but I do have a boyfriend and a good life. I have lots of time on my hands to play.

You never know, you might be able to make it in a career. I'd suggest your local vocational rehab for assistance.

About the headaches, yes, do go see a dr. You may need a referral to a neurologist. Sometimes, headaches are a sign of a medical problem beyond just headaches.

I read about this boy who went to a sort of spiritual gathering where you literally flew around the room if you meditated properly. He just couldn't get himself to fly. Finally, he just said "f**k it!"-- and that's when he took off, up into the air!

you are smart mathematival aspie with a sleeping problem and a mood problem, and you know i've been depressed my whole life. it goes away at times, for an hour or two, but comes back. i believe that aspies have it in them to survive and continue going if they talk about their feelings and thoughts and rely on others for support.

I also feel the same way, I am a vegetable now, I have done 4 years uni, sacked from most jobs, no girlfriend, I don't smoke/drink etc. Been to numerous doctors/psychs/counsellors/self help gurus. Everyone else here says positive things. I would die