Well, there goes a "friend"

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Ok so the thing is I came out of my shell in the past six months and made what I thought was a good friend at work. Then yesterday something happened (I have no idea what-I have found out now but not from him) and everything changed. We were suppose to go to lunch and he came out of a meeting. He seemed upset and said could we do lunch later - then he emails and says he does not want to do lunch. Now that part I understand but for the rest of the day I got the cold shoulder and today I have not heard from him. I know he has been online because of IM and he usually IM's or emails on Saturdays. It seems like whatever happened made him stop being my friend.

I am really upset and am having to take anti-anxiety medication to stop the panic attacks. Plus Monday I have to go back to work with this person and work on some projects with just him. I am really thinking of calling in sick Monday.

Anyway I thought I would share.
Thanks for "listening"

Y

Edit: for more information.

He probably just had a personal/family emergency. I'm sure everything is ok.

Yeah, I agree with alex. Try not to read do much into his behavior. Just give him his space. I don't think you should call in on Monday. Go ahead and go, and see what happens. If he still seems upset or withdrawn, just handle it gently and focus on doing your work. If this person has been communciating with you regularly outside of work, I suspect that he wouldn't just cut you off without an explanation. Don't make up your mind about the meaning of his actions before you give him a chance to explain himself. And he may just need a few days to deal with whatever it is before he can do that. By being patient and understanding in the meantime you'll demonstrate to him that you care about him as a friend and I'm sure that if he's a decent person, he'll appreciate that.

Another reason for the behavior is that he could have been laid off or fired in that meeting. You may find out Monday morning when he is not at work when you need to talk to him. Having gone through 2 layoffs, I can tell you that usually, you feel cut off from your co-workers at that point.

Thanks for the support/advice. You are probably right and I will see how it goes. I know he was not laid off because I know what the meeting was about and what happened and I do the HR and know when those items are going to happen.

I know he is having trouble with this project but I am working on it with him so it was very strange for him to pull away from me even in a business sense.

Thanks again I am feeling better

Y

Update:
It is everyone else. People have been giving him a hard time about being my friend because they think he is sucking up to me. I am the Director's assistant and so people perceive that having my approval is like having hers. This has made it hard for him and so he (in his words) detached.

Thanks everyone for listening. I really needed that.

Y

Gadzooks!

I know you have the best of intentions, but it happens to the best of us, too.

I hope things improve!

I'm sorry

When I read your first post on this thread, I "felt". I know what this is like!
It is so hard to make all that effort for a friend and then get ditched. It has even happened to me over the internet. Even now, I am not sure how I will handle it if it happens again.
I am glad it has worked out o.k for you and that you found out the real reason behind it all. You sound like you are an admirable person to be associated with.

Renaeden ~
Thank you so much. It has really worked out and he is proving to be a great friend even with everyone making it hard for us to be friends. I sincerely hope you never have to feel or be ditched again it is just so hard.

Thanks again,
Y