Yes, tortured. That is I. I cant say it's caused by AS because the true cause is NT's IGNORANCE of AS! My childhood was horrible, my family literally would talk around me about how messed up I was and how they wish I was never born. Its like they thought that I had no real emotions.
In my late teens I came home all wrecked and crying because I couldn't start a relationship with a girl I really loved even though she was crazy about me. My parents had some friends from work over and they all saw how screwed up I was. A couple years later I got my first job at the place they worked and they all took it upon themselves to force me into a relationship. They just sort of hinted at what they wanted me to do with this girl who out of the blue started buying me alcohol.
When I still couldnt get myself right things got so much worse. To all these NT's I was some kind of stygma so they encouraged me to change by threats of violence, fake charges of sexual harrasment, constant insult, so on. It might have worked on a normal person and I was trying to be normal so I just beat my head against this wall while I should have been persueing legal action. There was so much more to this that I wont go into, but eventually I had a full force nervous breakdown complete with stone sober blackouts. I was ordered into psychiatric evaluation and diagnosed bi polar. I was fired from my job. got kicked out of my parents house, lost every social contact, and became a severe alcoholic. Like others here, I figured that I must have some specific kind of brain damage. I even told people this to explain why I'm so incapable of some of the simplist things.
My lifes better now but its like I have to explain AS to everyone I come into contact with regularly. I'm hoping that public awarness takes a giant leap soon.
08 Oct 2009, 4:36 am
