Aspergers SUCKS.

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I may be posting in the Wrong Thread!
but
Aspergers is Awesome!! !! !
because I have it
and because you have it
and because we would never have met each other or found out how special and unique we are!

Your AS doesn't define you. You haven't found your true self or talents yet. Keep looking for the REAL you. You have positive traits. Believe me.

Are you intoxicated?

Like I've said before, Aspergers may be good for a person if they're able to find their niche, and their niche is something that can provide a livable income. If you don't find that, then Aspergers is a terrible thing to be burdened with.

double post

If being on the spectrum was the sole bane of my existence, then I would despise it. As it is, there are many other things "wrong" with me that I can point to or identify as the causes of my life's troubles. I'm a mixed race immigrant, I'm gay, I'm an atheist, I'm predisposed to addiction because it runs in my family, I'm a loner, I'm artistic and I'm a musician.

There's the cliché that, if you're an artist or musician, you're doomed to a life of penury as only a handful of artists make it big. There's also the cliché that being a musician exposes you to life's dark underbelly - drugs. I've often said I've been f*cked from birth. I wonder if that's true.

Sometimes, when you correct someone you challenge their beliefs. For a lot of people, their beliefs make them who they are. If you challenge people's beliefs or question them for clarification some of them can't take it. It is like you've attacked the very core of their soul. They wrap their emotions and their way of life in their beliefs. If you have ever been on the receiving end of someone's meltdown after you ask a question, this may be one reason why. You may be inadvertently doing this at BabyCenter.

I don't go there often and I am tired of peoples drama there and their over sensitivity. It's a common problem there lot of people face.

OK, it isn't my Asperger's itself that is making me really miserable. Well, it is, but I know a lot about NTs and being NT is not just plain-sailing. Some might have even more worries and stresses than I do. But the point is, Asperger's separates me from being able to fit in as much as I would like to. And because socialising is such a common thing among people, it's something I can't just put out of my mind and focus on something else. I see people socialising and using their natural social reflexes and it gets me really upset because I badly want to be accepted so badly. I'm accepted a bit - but I want to be accepted more. I want to be a thought in somebody's mind when they're planning a dinner out, like saying, ''let's invite Joe90'', and then all the others agreeing and going, ''yeah, can't go without Joe90!''

OK I could go on forever. But I would love to have more natural social reflexes. I would like to give off a vibe where people see me as more of a friend instead of just an acquaintance. I want to be able to do things right, instead of the opposite extremes all the time. If I know someone is interested in me and wants to be friends, I tend to make too much effort and act like I'm being too needy and then frighten them off. But if I try to back off a little bit and play it casual, it looks like I'm not being friendly enough and then they go thinking I don't want to be friends. I can't just get it right. I can read their body language well, but it's responding to it I am stupid with. Or sometimes I want to be friends so much that I kind of ignore the ''please give me space'' messages. And then I see other young NTs than I know who spend a lot of time with a best friend, like sleeping at each other's house all the time and spending, like, 90 percent of their time together, and I just think ''how come they don't think each other are needy and want to give each other space?''

And there's me, I give a friend a phone call once a week and I'm ''being too needy''.

^

1. That's not AS. That's just being different.
2. Happens to everyone. I think NTs adapt their personas to fit the majority.
3. Not necessarily AS. You may be looking at the wrong office jobs. Why a repetitive, boring one? Those drive me crazy!
4. That's not AS - it's pretty much true for everyone!
5. Social skills need development here. NTs learn not to do this pretty quickly - it's far from impossible with AS, it simply needs to be deliberate rather than automatic.
6. Making friends is tricky for everyone. Social skills need work. Doing homework for people is not good for you or them. Showing them how to do their own homework is better.
7. That's a pretty broad category. You might want to break it down more. Wit, irony, sarcasm, wordplay, pratfalls, puns, one-liners, put-downs, sight gags, cultural references, surrealism?
8. Not directly due to AS. Similar arguments have been made in the past that homosexuality causes an increase in suicide and drug addiction rates. It's not the thing itself but the social stigma.
9. Can be true of any minority group. Still due to social stigma rather than the condition itself.

i think it is a hallmark of autism to be less than compelled to attention by speculation born from introspection.
i know that autism is ostensibly a "self perpetuation of conceptual existence", but i do not think that the self perpetuation is motivated by self scrutiny or reflection.

whilst i may never feel the "flavour" of another persons mood, that does not detract from how i feel from my inside world toward the outside world. i feel what i feel without ever having the slightest manipulative control over it, and so i never look back at myself to objectify my subconscious subjective processes.

things just are. if i never saw myself in a mirror, i would not care. i would not wonder who i am.
the world is all outside of my eyes, and i forget about me when i am looking at things i am interested in.

being seated in one's self is not equal to being "egotistical" or "conceited" or "self absorbed".
being seated in one's self is simply looking out to the external world without reference to one's own substance.

who knows?

i am quite happy being the "fool on the hill", because it is quite comfortable. no one bothers me with their angst at the direction in which they think my thoughts are heading because they are not aware that i have any thoughts anyway.

a fully satisfied consciousness at the end of one's life need not have been bolstered by anything else than simply what it is made of.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNfS9Ywb2Cc[/youtube]

Absolutely, b9. [just agreeing with what you wrote in your post, then following on tangentially with my own stuff, not entirely related]
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It was like the lights suddenly went on for me when I dropped the 'act'. Then AS was no longer a negative aspect, it was simply a word for something already familiar.

I think that vain striving for "normal" and "happiness" is pointless. With present awareness and, as you say, being seated in the self, gives plenty of frame of reference with which to interface with the outside world, meanwhile it's all input, marvelous (and often overloading) input. I feel like FiveAlive in Short Circuit..... INPUT.... INPUT... IIIINNNPPPPUUUUUTTT!! !

So, I would like to finish by saying, having ASD can suck, does suck at times, but it's not all bad and once embraced and worked with can be quite a neat way to live. Stop comparing oneself to society and one becomes one without limitations. Yes, sensory issues are limiting, but they are also at times very rewarding. It's both, and if it seems positive or negative only, that is merely perspective, which YOU choose.

edited: thought fragments wheee!

Last edited by kirayng on 02 Nov 2013, 9:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

indeed?

Last edited by b9 on 02 Nov 2013, 9:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't understand what you are not interested in?

it is not vital to me that you understand how we are different, and so i elect to go to bed without any further thought.