I'm a little upset

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Today my younger brother by 3 years just his driver's license and I myself still don't have mine.

I'm worried of looking worthless to my family. Am I being childish?

No you're not childish. It's a genuine worry. Sometimes it's hard not to compare yourself to a sibling. I know that I compare myself to my sister too much. I can't help it. Driving is just one thing. I'm sure there's plenty of other things you're good at (possibly better at than your brother)

I've always been his shadow it feels.

Heck he is even taller than me

That's interesting because it's a younger sibling whose shadow I feel in. And I think I shouldn't because I'm older. She's getting married this year. She's 5 years younger than me, which makes me feel like a bit of a loser. Oh, and she's marrying a guy that I liked, but he liked her, not me. Oh well.

It annoys me when people meet her first, then they meet me and they say, "really, you're her sister," because she's outgoing and the life and soul of the party and I'm so shy and quiet.

The thing is though, I'm better at sewing. I'm better at art. I'm better at IT. All things she doesn't value, but they are important to me.

I can't really think of anything I excel at

I'm sure there's something. Maybe you make the best cup of coffee ever.

I worked in a hair salon for my school work experience and I was asked to make a few customers coffee. None of them finished their coffee. It's not one of my strong points making a good cup of coffee.

Do you WANT a drivers license? There are Aspies who drive, although it is definately more of a challenge.

I don't know what I want. I feel like slamming my fists into the earth and shouting at the heavens 'Why does fate seem to love my brother more than me!" I swear his is good at most things I wish could do like talking to people, cooking, warming up a room, and being all around confident.

That's a myth. Driving is a piece of cake. It only requires practice and desire. The one most Aspies lack that I see here on WP is the desire. I didn't have it when I turned driving age, either, I preferred to let someone else drive, while I hung my head out the window like a dog. But once I decided I wanted my own wheels, I got interested and learned. Still not my favorite pastime, but just one of those things you gotta do sooner or later. And my record is impeccable.


But I totally get the sibling frustration! My sister is 9 years younger than me, and I love her to death, but it does bug me sometimes that having a stable marriage, a lucrative career, a beautiful home and a big happy family has come as easy to her as falling out of bed. While I spent decades getting fired and divorced over and over, and in the end have precious little to show for all the effort.

I take a little comfort in the knowledge that I did manage to stumble into a career path that allowed me to be creative and work mostly alone and I had a great time doing it and ultimately became very good at it. So don't worry so much about somebody else setting the bar too high for you - that's their bar, not yours. You will never be them or anything like them, but there's no reason you should. Just be the best YOU you know how to be. It's not a competition unless you choose to make it one.

As musicboxforever says, there are always things you do better than others. And your gifts are only as small as you let them remain. Everybody loves a superstar - but if all the superstars and all the janitors disappeared tomorrow, who do you think we'd miss the most?

Who the hell cares what George Clooney is up to when the toilet paper roll is empty?

Not saying janitor is a career goal to aim for, just that nobody is unimportant, even if we sometimes feel (and get treated) that way.

It kinda sounds like you just want to compete with against your brother since he's getting his drivers license before you?
Would just be easier if you just go and get your drivers license.

There's a catch though. If you decide to learn to drive an automatic car, the only problem you will have is that you wouldn't have the license to drive a manual. Best suggestion, go for the manual.

If I was you, I'd be best happy being myself because you are your own person and competing with other people doesn't always work out very well and could lead a couple of conflicts if you get what I mean?

Hope you feel a little better soon.


- superboyian.

Doesn't work that way in the US. You can drive both if you want.

I have three younger brothers, and one of them was accomplishing many things long before I ever did, and today he can still do things I cannot.

No big deal, and I hope your parents are able to see that the same way.

I didn't get my driver's license until I was almost 22. Sometimes I felt bad for it. Other times I figured "who needs the stress?"

i have mine. if anything aspergers makes me a better driver. im always on the defensive

I feel much better now. I was just a little weepy and worried but I've talked to my brother and he said he's help me get mine.

I'm sorry if I've disturbed you whilst in that episode of sadness.

When I begin to worry or meltdown I become a completely different person.

Thank you for your support.

I love all 5 of my brothers to death it is I'm worried of being left behind when I tend to be a little late at some things.

Last edited by Ebonwinter on 31 Mar 2010, 10:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

we all have our burnouts