Well, I thought I should update on how things have been going for me seeing as it's been weeks and all...
A few weeks ago, I had a massive meltdown between my mom and I so that definitely did not go over well. At that point, I was just very depressed and angry at the world and I had just totally lost it. A week later, I got really mad at someone else (I'm not going into details on this one) but calmed down greatly the next day.
All of a sudden, I've just started feeling much better and happier. Somewhere along the way, I just stopped caring about my ex and I think that really did lift me up. Now he has talked to me a couple times on his own since then, but I'm no longer grieving whenever he blows me off or anything. As for the story, I figure at this point it's definitely no longer happening, but I suppose I could always work on it on my own. It's something I don't want to ever forget.
Also, I have more big news! I'm involved in pageants again! I will be doing a really, really big one in three weeks so I'm practicing as much as I can for that (I practiced my talent acts until I fell asleep from exhaust earlier!!). I think getting back into it also has a positive effect on me. The director also gave me a mega discount since I will also be helping out at the pageant as well. So instead of paying $450, I'm only paying $25. Can't beat that!! ! So hopefully it goes really well. It's basically a national level pageant which is as big as they get. And then you have someone thrown in like me who has never even had coaching. But I've earned some *really* good titles that are just unheard of so early on (I can't even think of anyone else who's done that.). Everyone says I have so much potential, it's crazy. So like I said, I think this will be a good experience for me. Plus in the meantime when I have nothing to do (which is all the time really), I can practice. For this pageant, I will be competing in beauty, interview, outfit of choice, talent, and circle city wear (which I will be doing an additional talent I've been working on in). Wish me luck! : )
So yeah, that's everything going on right now. I'm just really glad that I'm really starting to feel better now. It feels like a lot of weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can finally be genuinely happy again. Sure I had some good days in the past few months, but I was definitely not happy overall and it showed. But now I'm ready to go out there, have the time of my life, and make each and every day better and better. I've got a lot of support for this pageant and I think I can do it. And as for my ex, screw him. I'm sure I'll find someone so much better soon enough.