I think I've upset my Mom

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GreySun369
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16 Aug 2010, 9:14 am

I'm suppose to be moving to Florida in 3 days so that my Mom can take care of my grandfather. Yesterday while discussing the plans for getting everything moved I mentioned to my Mom that I want to learn how to take the city bus so that I can travel to places like the mall without having to ask my Mom to drive me all the time (I can't drive myself, and I've never lived in a city with buses and taxis before).

My Mom actually got a little upset and I felt horrible. My younger brother who is almost 18 just moved out of his Dad's house and soon after he graduates he'll be moving away. We already don't get to see him much anymore, and pretty soon we'll see him even less. I think my Mom was sad because she feels like I'm trying to get away from her and thinks one day I'll abandon her too.

I don't really know what to do. I want to explain to her that even if I do move out one day I'll always live close by her and see her all the time, and I'm not planning to leave any time soon. That's why I'm going to college locally so I can still live with her for a few more years. I know my Mom loves her children very much and since I'm the only one who lives with her and the oldest she's feeling really down that I'm no longer a kid, and one of her children is already moving away.

Maybe I shouldn't move away? Maybe I should just keep living with her and help take care of her so she won't feel so lonely? I don't want her to ever feel like I'm going to abandon her.



Marcia
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16 Aug 2010, 9:24 am

It's natural and it's ok for your mother to get a little upset. It does sound that right now she's dealing with a lot, and is the generation in the middle. Let her know how much you love and value her, and it'll be fine.



KaiG
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16 Aug 2010, 9:24 am

That sounds pretty clingy of her. You're twenty years old, and she should be ready for you to have your own life.


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GreySun369
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16 Aug 2010, 9:29 am

Maybe she is clingy, but I think it's understandable. Accepting that your children are growing up is one of the hardest things for a parent to do.



CockneyRebel
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16 Aug 2010, 8:20 pm

Mu mum was very clingy with me, but my case was a little different, because of my innocence. I also wasn't ready to think about moving, until I was 25.


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GreySun369
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16 Aug 2010, 8:29 pm

Well, the whole plan is that right now we're all living together in a house while my Mom takes care of my grandfather and I attend college. Then when my granfather eventually passes away my Mom and her fiance will move into his house and the house we're moving to now will be left to me. So it's not like my Mom is planning to keep me locked in her house forever until I'm 50. I am going to be living on my own eventually, but I'm going to be hanging on for just a couple more years.

I have a really close relationship with my Mom, and even when I'm moved out and living on my own I'm not just going to forget about her and not see her for years. That's kind of what she did with her father who she's taking care of now and I think she kind of regrets it and fears her children might do the same. I don't want her to feel that way. And if she ever got sick from old age I would try my best to take care of her too.



wrathofnero
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17 Aug 2010, 3:22 am

If it makes you feel better, when I moved to Nashville, my mother stayed with me for a week after, then visited every week for the next few months. I'm an only child, but still. It's hard to admit that what was once your baby is now growing up enough to need to move out. However, in my case, I ended up having to move back for the time being, so she got lucky. Haha.



LiendaBalla
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17 Aug 2010, 1:09 pm

She's not going to live forever. Oh well.